The English Teacher Chronicles

So Close...

2009-05-19T13:05:00.001-04:00

I recently had my students complete a large project. It had many parts, all revolving around a list of books, from which they had to choose one and read it. Then, they had to do a list of different activities. They culmination was a book report, in which they were supposed to give me a short summary of the book, and then spend the rest of their time telling me about why they liked the book, or why they didn’t like the book.

Generally, grading 6^th grade essays are an exercise in frustration, since they don’t really write very well yet, for the most part. They haven’t gotten to the point where they have an essay every other week or so, like they start to do in 7^th and 8^th, and up until now, almost all of their writing is focused around narrative writing. Getting them to write a non-fiction work is like pulling teeth… teeth that aren’t ready to be pulled!

For the most part, I work throughout the year on sneaking in the expository writing, by having them respond to quotes or writing prompts on a daily basis as bellwork, instead of saying, “Okay, students, today you’re going to be writing an essay!” Avoiding the word helps to avoid the negative attitudes that go hand-in-hand with writing essays… at least until they get wise to my tricks, which generally lasts me until well after Christmas.

Many of the students turn in something that looks gorgeous, since it’s required that their essay is typed, size 12 font, and double-spaced. I love getting a pristine stack of essays from the children; looking for the ones who put it in a pretty little binder thing, or which kid used a pretty font or fun paper.

Then I start to dive into their words, and the prettiness goes away.

Some gems I have come across in this set:

“the baby sister likes to use the bathroom in her dipper.” - I can only assume she means diaper. Yet, I wonder what caused the student to come to the conclusion that the baby likes going to the bathroom in her ‘dipper.’ I didn’t think babies had much choice, myself.
“My opinion of the book is that the book is a good book and keeps your mind wanting more and more.” – So generic. They didn’t even mention the characters once.
“She goes to the wedding and instead of saying the valves and stuff you sing everything.” - Valves of your heart? I guess marriage is a joining of the heart. Sort of.
“Billy begs his parents for puppies, but they can’t afford it because this was during the great expression.” - I wonder what they were expressing? Discontent, surely, since it was set during the Great Depression, but they didn’t specify.
“A Third is a child who is a third child in a family and third children aren’t allowed so to be a Third (the third child born in a family) is dangerous.” – I think that they just liked the word “third.”

Thank goodness there’s not that much school left this year! I am sure that I can’t survive one more essay.

But the thought that gets me the most is that the kids are writing astronomically better than when they arrived in 6^th at the beginning of the year. So next year, I’ll start all over.

Sometimes I am so excited about that thought. Sometimes, not so much.

Oh, well. I am glad I’m still going to be with 6^th grade next year. As terribly as they write and as often as they cry, I do love them the best.

Now, if I can just survive the last half of the last 9 weeks, we’ll be getting somewhere.

Why Do Parents Believe Children?

2009-05-09T17:04:00.000-04:00

Seriously. If your 12-year-old tells you that she doesn't have homework anymore because we've had our standardized test... don't believe her.

If your son, a 6th grader, tells you that they don't send report cards home anymore, even though the sign at the front of the school says they go home on the 10th, don't believe him.

I must have had a different type of mother, because she never believed my crazy lies. I don't believe my student's crazy tales, but their parents do.

And that's really sad.

But if I get one more voicemail or email from a parent, claiming crazy things, I am seriously going to have to restrain myself from saying something to the effect of, "Do you really think that I said that? That, even though on the progress report, her grade was a 11%, she actually has a 95%, and it was just a mistake? Are you that stupid?"

Because this past progress report, the children apparently all joined in a conspiracy to lie to their parents, causing an endless stream of confusion and consternation, culminating in parents yelling about how they can't believe that we don't fix the errors in the computers before sending progress reports home.

Um, parents?

Your child lies. It's a phase they go through several times in their growth to adults, and apparently especially right now. Love them, trust them, but then check everything they say, especially if it seems like it doesn't make sense.

And stop blaming me! I promise I didn't tell your child that they don't need to pass my class to get out of 6th grade.

I actually said, "Do your work or you'll have summer school."

Believe me. I outgrew the lying phase years ago.

Why I am Crazy...

2009-05-06T12:41:00.000-04:00

One of students this year is a mess. A complete and total mess. He doesn’t want to do his work. Not sure why… have asked him about it, have spent time sitting next to him to make sure he understand what’s going on and what he should be doing, have talked to mom, have talked to dad, have asked his friends, etc. He just doesn’t want to do it.

My co-teacher has also attempted to work with the boy, to see if he’d respond better to a man (nope, he works better for me, and that’s a scary thought).

He doesn’t want to do his work so much that he pretends that he is doing it so that you think he’s working. Then, when it comes time to turn in his work, he doesn’t have anything. Not even his name on his paper.

Not. Even. His. Name.

He routinely pretends to not have a pencil so that, when you ask him why he hasn’t done anything since he entered the room 30 minutes ago, he can say, “Well, I don’t have a pencil!”

However, if you tell him that he will start writing in the next 60 seconds or he will have a lunch detention, he magically pulls a pencil from his backpack, where his mother has packed it for him.

Sometimes he honestly doesn’t have a pencil, and I have a system for borrowing pencils, which he knows very well, but he doesn’t ask, and even when you tell him to get one, he won’t do it. He’d much rather not have a pencil, because if he has one, he might have to actually work.

Now, when I say that he pretends to work, I mean he has a pencil in his hand, and he moves it across his notebook, so that it looks like he is actually writing. I mean, you can actually look at him directly, and he pauses in writing, seeming to think, then continues to move his pencil across his paper, not actually writing anything. The only way to be sure he is actually writing is to go right next to him and look. I have watched him actually pull out a pencil, look around to make sure no one is watching him, and snap the lead off the top of the pencil. Then he just sits there, pretending to write. When asked, a little while later, why there is nothing on his paper, he says, “My pencil is broken.”

This might just be one reason I feel crazy this year.

Spring Fever - Part Two

2009-03-19T21:34:00.003-04:00

So it's official... the kids have lost it, and taken me with them.

Here are just some of things that occurred, just today.

-The student I call Scatted was being annoyed by the boy behind him. This is not unusual, as 6th graders enjoy annoying the people around them, but the kid was just breathing. Apparently (when I asked later) the kid's nose was whistling, and Scattered thought he was doing it on purpose.

He responds by saying, at the top of his lungs: "Dude, stop it! Duuuuuuuuuudeeeeeee, stooooooooop it!" (he continued in a loop for about 45 seconds, while I stared incredulously, until I couldn't take it anymore.

-One of my girl students told me that she had to go to the bathroom to take care of 'her girl stuff.' I gave her a pass, but she said that she wanted to take her friend with her. I said no way, and she pitched a whining fit, while I stared at her in amazement. I finally stopped the fit, and told her she could go to the bathroom by herself or not at all, and she said never mind and sat back down. (I can't wait to hear from her parents, since I didn't let her go to the bathroom, so I'm torturing their child).

-Two of my boys were fighting over my pencil sharpener. Neither of them needed it at the time.

-A girl asked me if she could have an extra day for the homework she was just assigned. I asked her why she would need it, since she hadn't even started it and so she couldn't know she couldn't do it. She told me that she just didn't want to do any homework tonight.

-The kids have stopped coming back from lunch at a reasonable pace. I think this is more to do with the fact they're becoming 7th graders, but this is really annoying. We have split lunch, so we have 1/2 of class before lunch and 1/2 after. When they take forever to get back we don't have time to finish anything. Instead, they dance their way back and then all force themselves into the bathroom. I know it has to be a fire hazard.

And finally, they just continue to ask ridiculous questions, and since it's just time for a break, I don't think it's as cute, funny, or harmless as usual. We need rest!

Or lots and lots of chocolate.

(For me, not for the kids. No sugar for them, please.)

Grown Up Babies

2009-03-07T19:53:00.000-05:00

So Grown, yet such babies…

Today is a perfect example of how young these kids really are, even though they think they are so grown at 12.

One of my girls came in a giant fluffy down-filled jacket, zipped up all the way to the top, almost choking her. After being inside a little while, she attempted to unzip it, since it isn’t needed inside.

She can’t do it.

Her zipper is stuck.

So she had to come over to me and ask me to get her out of it… just like she’s probably done countless times with her mother.

I thought it was so hilarious, but also really sweet. It does make me happy to be that trusted by the children. Like the girl last year who got stuck in a bracelet and panicky, so I had to use wire cutters to get it off of her. She trusted me to use sharp objects near her arm.

And my student today let me attempt to get her out of her jacket, risking a zipper pinch (she had it up so high she had to tip her head back so I could get to the zipper.)

I love forming relationships with the kids that lead to trust!

Spring Fever

2009-03-04T21:03:00.002-05:00

It's truly time for Spring Break.

We've got awhile yet before we actually get to take a week off, but the children are finished. They aren't doing their homework, they are texting in class (three more cell phones taken away just today), they are running in the courtyard, they are hiding in the bathroom to skip class, and one very persistent (and apparently tall) girl keeps writing in permanent marker on the ceiling of the girl's room.

In short, we need a break.

And let's not even start to talk about our standardized test, which is coming so fast I can't believe it.

I will be a much calmer, saner teacher when we come back from our break. We'll have finished our standardized test, so I will have time to do all the "fun" stuff I love doing but don't get to spend as much time with.

So, let's not go to school this week

Please?

No Electronics!

2009-03-02T23:21:00.000-05:00

Why, oh, why do so many of my very young students have electronics that I still cannot afford? In just the past two weeks, I have confiscated:

-five cell phones

-one PSP

-one iPod

-something that beeped that I didn't know what it was (a game, I think. Not sure)

This irritates me. I don't take the phones or stuff randomly. They have to be doing something with it (in the case of the iPod and the PSP, they were playing games on them in my class) or it has to start making noise and interrupting the class. The school policy that if your parents insist on you having the phone, you may (a lot of the parents feel it's a safety thing so they can call as they walk home) but you must keep it in your backpack at all times, shut off.

This means, the cell phone must remain in the backpack at all times.

This does not mean in your pocket.

This not mean clipped to your belt.

This especially does not mean pulling it out to show everyone your cool phone.

For other electronic devices (iPods, cameras, PSPs, Nintendo DSes, etc) are not allowed.

For some reason, 6th graders have a hard time with this. If they have it, they have to show it. They want to show it off to each other. The 8th graders are so much more subtle and sneaky, but not my students. They'll have it on their desk, then act surprised when I confiscate it.

Each item that I take gets turned over to our grade level office, labelled carefully with the student's name, to await mom or dad coming to pick it up.

This really irritates the parents, generally, and I can't say I blame them. They have to figure out a way to get to the school while the office is open (generally only while they're supposed to be at work, and not late enough for them to come after work) to get the item.

Sometimes they're irritated with their kid, which I don't blame them.

Sometimes they blame me. I am just following the policy that they all signed at the beginning of the year, plus it's not like I decided to text my friend in class. If their child had shut their phone off or turned their phone on vibrate, it never would have come to me taking this.

Anyway. I am tired of the whole electronics thing.

And don't even get me started on hats and sunglasses.

Spring Break needs to be here now.

Conversational Snippets

2009-02-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

I spend a good deal of time listening to the children as they talk, either to me or amongst themselves. I learn all sorts of things this way.

Sometimes I learn what's in right now (have you ever heard of You*Tube, Ms. Language Arts Lady? It's really fun!)

Sometimes I learn how much they're understanding the current lesson. (Or not. Did you know that setting was not the place/time where something happened, like I thought, but why someone did something? i.e., the setting is why the boy hit his sister. Yeah, apparently we need to do that lesson over again.)

Sometimes I hear things that simply hilarious, insane, or silly. Here are some examples of recent conversational snippets.

"Ms. Language Arts Lady? May I have a band-aid?"

"Are you bleeding?"

"No."

"Then why do you need a band-aid?"

"I was bleeding.

"But you're not actually bleeding now."

"No."

"So, again, why do you need a band-aid?"
A blank stare is my answer.

"They're in the cabinet. Top shelf."

"Do I need to turn this in?" (asking about the classwork that I just collected from every other student in the room.)

"Well, no, you don't have to, but if you would like to get credit for it, then yes. I can't grade it if you don't give it to me."

"So does that mean you want it?"

"Do I need to put my name on this paper?"

"No, you don't. Only if you want me to know it was your paper, so I can give you a grade for it."

"Okay." (Then proceeds to turn it in without putting their name on it. I give it back).

"Wait, Ms. Language Arts Lady! You can't move on! I haven't finished copying the notes!"

"Did you start copying the notes? Because there's nothing on your desk."
"No! I didn't, because I can't find my notebook!!" (Frantic digging around in his backpack ensues. ) "Someone stole it! Someone stole my notebook!"

"Now, Scattered, I'm sure no one stole your notebook! Who would want it? They all have their own notebooks!"

"Well, it was on my desk and now it's gone!!!!" (Seriously freaking out now.)

"Hey, Scattered? Is that it, under your desk?"

He freezes, and doesn't move for 10 seconds (not sure why...). Then he slowly leans over and looks. "Yes, that's it!!"

*sigh*

(Overheard, two students talking)
"I got lunch detention today."

"Oh, really? Who gave it to you?"

"Ms. Language Arts Lady. She said I was talking during the announcements, but I wasn't."

"That sucks! So are you going to go?"

(I join the conversation)

"Yes, he's going to go, if he doesn't want to receive a stricter consequence. Oh, and, for the record, you were talking through the announcements. Again."

(Both children looked quite startled, not realizing I was listening.)

"I wasn't going to not show up!" (asserts the child in trouble)

"Good to know."

I honestly think that these little bits of their thoughts and feelings, while sometimes driving me completely insane, are what keeps me going back every day. You just never know what will come out of their mouths next.

6th graders do say the craziest things!

Gone so Long...

2008-10-05T10:27:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been an insane amount of time since I have been blogging... and I feel rather bad. I have some reasons, of course, but still. I am considering whether or not to pull it down, or work on getting things posted. In the meantime, here are some of my reasons for not posting:

-This summer, with the two graduate level classes I was taking, just about wiped me out.

-This school year has made me inordinately angry. We lost our awesome, amazing AP and got someone who's just not as good... or nice.

-Our guidance counselor is inexperienced, so that made for a TERRIBLE start to the year.

-I am confused about how much I can post without hurting the children's privacy. I mean, I don't think my current approach of 'wash everything of a name' is anything that would be likely to cause anyone distress, but if a parent does complain, I don't want to be in trouble.

-As I started back to school this year, I promptly started another graduate level course. The good news on that is I finish the class in about two weeks, and then I am finished with my endorsement! Hooray!

So... I will likely begin posting some odd bits here and there, but we'll have to see about if I get back to posting regularly. I hope so, because I think it's a good outlet for me... but it's been difficult recently!

Next time, I will post about some of the craziness of starting school... it's such a strange time.

New School Year

2008-08-12T21:35:00.002-04:00

My classroom is a disaster.

No other explanation. Pre-planning has been completely filled with meetings. Mostly informative, I guess, so not a waste, but some of them had no real point, and this irritates me. I have too much to do to sit there while you argue over the end of the year celebrations.

We can wait until after the "Winter Holiday" break. At least.

Anyway, I have a total of one border stapled up on my bulletin board, no posters, one calendar hung, three clocks, all with differing times, and I have my desk area rearranged from last year and also from the way the technology specialist set it up... I didn't like it.

Not only that, but I am pretty (okay, extremely) computer savvy, so people who I have helped, generally people I know, ask me to help them with their computers and things.

Then they tell their friends, and they ask me for help, but I don't even know them.

I have a problem saying no.

So, I have been spending my time doing other teacher's rooms.

I am tired, I am not ready, and I am frustrated.

At least tomorrow is another day.

New School Year, New School Stuff

2008-07-25T16:44:00.000-04:00

Just like last year, I am now doing my grocery shopping and eyeing the kids around me, wondering if they'll be my future students. I am poring over the pages of the teacher back-to-school catalogs that are being delivered with alarming (at least to my wallet) regularity.

But I placed two orders from two different catalogs, and I am so excited! I can't wait for the stuff to be delivered.

One of my new items:

This will be used when we're working on writing, and we'll eliminate an over-used word, and give other options we could use instead. (First to go will be fun, I think. Or cool).

Another fun thing I got is:

My school has a REALLY bad problem with dirty bathrooms, and I'm just not sure why. The janitors refuse to fill the soap dispensers, because the kids sometimes hold the soap open and allow it to pour onto the floor. I don't blame them for being annoyed, but we did not have any soap, in any bathroom, after Christmas.

This is unacceptable, and parents complained, and I'm not sure why the administration allowed it to continue. They talked about changing the soap in the boy's bathroom (since it never happened in the girl's bathroom, I'm not sure why they couldn't give them soap, plus how is it fair that only the boys would get cool, new, fancy soap when they're pigs?) to foam so they couldn't do that, but nothing was done.

But anyway, these 'passes' were on sale, and the kids take it with them to the bathroom, and then they'll have soap to wash their hands. I will make sure to never touch them, because I'm sure they don't all wash correctly, but it'll be good for the kids, I think.

And they were on sale for $.99! I got one for each of my team members. Hooray for soap!

Now, you know it's time to start back to school when teachers are celebrating soap.

I am still enjoying my time away from the kids, but I am getting a little antsy to meet my new students. I keep logging on to my attendance screen to see if I have any students in my classes yet.

(None yet, but I'll keep checking. And I do have classes scheduled! They're just empty still.)

A Special Child Introduced

2008-07-18T22:54:00.004-04:00

I have been debating all year about posting entries about one of my students, because this child is so very distinct, it would make identification of her easy, and that's not my intent at all. I want it to all remain anonymous, and just be a commentary on the crazy things that people do these days with their children, and what kids are doing, since it is so very funny a lot of the time.

So I didn't write any of the numerous, insane things that happened. And trust me, there are plenty. I don't think I'll have another student like this one, no matter how long I remain teaching.

But as the year is over, and I am gearing up for a fresh crop of kiddos, I feel the need to share a few of the craziest stories about this student, as I just can't hold it in anymore. As countless people have said, as I mention the latest thing she did, "I really don't know how you stood it."

I don't either.

For ease in storytelling, I will give this student a name, which of course isn't the real one. We'll call her Sarah.

Now, Sarah was on another team at my school, but after about 1 month was moved to our team, as we were "a better environment for this particular student." This translates to the other team was full of new teachers and teachers who complain if they have any student that isn't perfect, and so they moved her to our team, since they couldn't handle her.

We had been warned about her; we had a whole special meeting about her. She was placed in my homeroom and in my class for language arts. The first day she arrived, she sat on my floor and told me she didn't want to do the work. This was a little surprising, as I do work with 12-year-olds, and generally it takes them awhile to be comfortable enough to say things like that.

So I said that I was sorry to hear that, but she needed to do it anyway. She promptly threw a fit, and laid down on the floor and kicked her feet, and started screaming.

This obviously shocked me. (and the other students).

No matter how they had talked about her being "special" in the meeting, and how we would have to work with her carefully, I wasn't prepared for a temper tantrum that would make a 2-year-old proud.

I attempted to get her off the floor, and eventually managed to get her in a desk, with her work in front of her. When I stopped by to check on her later, she was playing with a piece of plastic. I asked what it was, and she ignored me, so I asked her what she was doing. Then she told me what it was.

She said, "Oh, this? This is just a piece of plastic. But it's a special piece of plastic. It's part of a bomb that I am going to build to blow you up."

Let me tell you, I was floored.

After school that day, I went to my administrator's office for advice. Now, I do love my administrator, but she has better things to do than worry about this child, so I was basically just told to make do, deal with it, and ignore the threats.

I then went to several other people at my school, and I was told just to ignore it, she didn't mean it.

I was angry about it then, and I still am. Whether or not she meant it, she said it. It's not safe to have hear around other students when she is making threats like that. It's just not. If she were of low intelligence, maybe, but she has an extremely high IQ, past Giftedness even, and she could easily figure out how to make a bomb.

But I had to go back and just do my best. Throughout many other threats to me, my co-teacher, and the other teachers on my team, we were told just to have a little compassion for this student, who is going through so much.

What about me? What about the other students? I kept trying to get them to see that if something did happen, and she hurt other students, we would be in very deep trouble, since she was threatening them!

I kept a log of everything she did, so that if anything did happen, I had a list of things leading up to the event.

Eventually I had enough, and wrote a referral for a threat to me and one of the other students. Nothing really happened, just one day in ISS, but it made it so that she was aware it was not okay to make threats anymore, and she mostly stopped. But she still did things like throwing herself on the floor, screaming, telling the other kids they were stupid, yelling out during tests or when was reading out loud, etc.

I really do not know how I made it.

Ashamed

2008-07-08T13:43:00.002-04:00

I am ashamed it has been so long since I have posted. I am terribly sorry if you have been checking for updates. It is summer, yes, but I could perhaps tell you some of the stories I had not shared throughout the year because I didn't want to post things that were so identifiable.

I will begin posting anew soon, I promise. This summer I have been busy since school let out, taking many classes to add things onto my certification. I am currently in a class and I'm supposed to be researching physical impairment, but I decided to take a mini-break and head over.

Soon! I will be back.

Thanks for checking!

Teaching Teachers

2008-06-23T19:15:00.005-04:00

As last year, I am taking classes during the summer. This means I have to get up at the crack of dawn, stumble about getting ready and trying to remember everything I need to take with me for class, driving across town, sitting in traffic, and then the class starts...

I teach in a large, spread out county. The classes are never on my side of town. Not even once. So... I have have a drive of 45 minutes before each class, and when a class starts at 8 or 8:30, that is terrible for me, being a complete night owl.

Anyway... enough whining about that.

The classes that I am taking this year are two that i need to be certified to teach Gifted children. I am adding it to my certification, which is required if you want to teach the Gifted children.

Most teachers ask why on earth anyone would want to teach Gifted children.

I admit, they are a tough, nutty group, but I do love how creative they can be.

For the first class that I took this summer (and the real reason I have not been updating this blog), it was a 2 week long class, in which we met Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which the in-between days to work on assignments. I don't remember ever working so hard on assignments, even in college.

It has something to do with the fact that this is normally a class that would take an entire semester, but we did it in 2 weeks. So you have an almost immediate turn around on assignments.

While this is good at getting the class over with quickly, it also was just plain hard. It's not easy to create an entire unit on a set topic, and then create all the lessons, handouts, and the create fake student samples, so that you have something to show the students! This is, on the one hand, nice because you're supposed to actually use what you are creating, and since you create everything, it's all there.

On the other hand, you have 4 days to create all of the unit. I had my best friend pretending to be 12 year olds and filling out the handouts and writing journal entries and drawing pictures, something that thrilled her I'm sure.

But I do love learning more, even if it was painful. It makes me a better teacher, and I do like learning new things.

If only it wasn't so very far away.

Summer Days, and Great Leaders

2008-06-16T14:09:00.004-04:00

Well, it has been awhile since I have posted, and I apologize for that. Ending a school year is always crazy, plus I immediately got sick after the last day, and I am starting my summer classes this week, so it's been hectic.

Now, I don't believe I have mentioned the assistant principal at my school before, but she's awesome. She's the type of person who is able to see the humor in what the crazy kids are doing, and yet makes you feel better just for stopping by.

Before I continue about my assistant principal, I wanted to mention the principal. My principal is honestly the best principal I have seen; she does a really wonderful job inspiring the teachers and students, enforcing rules regardless of anything else, and works as a liaison to the community in a way that helps the teachers do their jobs and helps the parents know how to help their children. She's great, but not someone I would feel comfortable ever actually having a chat with.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone feels this way; there are quite a feel people in my school that easily have the type of passing-the-day chats that I would never dream of having with her... but she kind of scares me. Just a little.

My A.P. is the type of person who is always everywhere at once, and always knows what's going on regardless of where she was when it happened. She's always able to give you an idea of how to deal with a parent issue or concern, and doesn't hesitate to take over is she feels the parent is being irrational.

My first year at my school, I didn't feel this way. She was new to the position of A.P., and a little tightly-wound, and she ended up making me a little nervous, never quite sure of what type of mood she was in that day. By Christmas time, however, she was settled in the position, I had figured out how to read her, and I learned she had the same type humor that I have.

She's seriously awesome, and one of the main reasons I didn't think to move to a different school for this coming school year. We have had a major shake up here in our school district, switching around things that I have loved most about teaching middle school, a shake up which made me seriously consider moving to high school.

I decided against it, because I am so happy with the leadership at my school. I figured I would just make the best of the things I hate to stay with the leadership.

Then just this week, I found out that they transferred her to a different school.

I am seriously not happy.

I am not looking forward to figuring out how to deal with a new A.P. With the budget cuts, we may not even replace her, which means that 6th grade will have no administrator, dean, or A.P. to assist with discipline. That will mean the kids will be divided among the other grade levels for discipline, and they will slip through the cracks.

This is not good at all!

And I am left seriously wishing I had applied to the high school which is less than 1/2 mile from my house.

I am not going to hate them before I meet them, because that's unprofessional. I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt, and just wait and see what happens.

But all I have to say to them is this: you have some big, impressively awesome shoes to fill.

You have been warned.

Last Days...

2008-05-29T13:53:00.003-04:00

As we close the school year, I am packing up my room, which saddens the kids.

I am also realizing that, for some very inexplicable reason, teachers like to load the children up with sugar seconds before the class switches.

I am not amused by this.

Sugar and kids = bad things.

I was also talking to the lovely lady who processes referrals and she had a stack that was unbelievably thick, both from teachers who have had enough and students who have finished being nice.

Please, please let the year end right now!

Common Sense No Longer Common?

2008-05-21T11:40:00.003-04:00

Why on earth do parents let their children see movies that I would not see? Movies rated PG-13 should not be common fare for my students, as they are... not 13 yet.

Unless there is a redeeming feature of the movie (like important historical content), or if the parent has already seen it and was confused about why it's rated PG-13, 6th graders shouldn't watch. (For instance, when I first saw Ever After with Drew Barrymore, it was rated PG-13, but when it was released on video, it was revised to be rated PG).

They just shouldn't.

They are CHILDREN, who already live in a world that forces them to grow up way, way too fast. They don't need this pictures and ideas and words in their heads, especially when their minds are not mature enough to process them properly.

For instance, there simply is not very many students in my class who has not seen Epic Movie. This movie is rated PG-13 for these reasons: crude and sexual humor, language and some comic violence (according to www.cara.org, which is the Classification and Ratings Administration, which gives reasons for moving ratings).

Why would you want your 11- or barely 12-year-old to see anything with sexual humor? They are babies!

Another movie most has seen is 300, which is rated R for these reasons: graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity. Another winner for your 6th grader.

How about Scary Movie? Rated R: for strong crude sexual humor, language, drug use and violence. Most of the kids have seen one or all of these movies.

I am just a little depressed thinking about this. It's bad enough the life some of the these kids are forced to live, and things at home and at school they're forced to see. Why give them even more things to worry about and clutter up their minds?

I tell them I don't think it's a good idea for them to watch that type of movie, but they then go on to tell me what else they've seen, and it just makes me sadder... they have seen harmless movies (like the recent Prince Caspian or Alvin and the Chipmunks) but they have also seen movies I won't watch.

It's just really sad to think about...

Really sad.

Why Are you Talking To Yourself??

2008-05-20T10:14:00.004-04:00

I have one student who is seriously unbelievable. Just completely unbelievable.

We have had 3 parent conferences, because he's failing everything.

None have worked.

He doesn't do anything. The classwork everyone else is doing, even the fun activities, the homework, TESTS, he doesn't do any of them.

But the worst of it is, he talks. Pretty constantly. This is not that unusual, of course, but what makes this child unusual is that when I moved him to the seat by my door, the one that has no one even close to it, he still talks. No one is listening, no one can even really hear him, but he still talks. I ask him if he's talking to the wall, and he says yes. (There is nothing mentally wrong with him to cause this, either).

I really think that there's something very wrong with him, to have such a deep-seated need for attention that he must continue to talk after being corrected, and even when there is no one listening.

We have referred him to the counselor, to make sure there wasn't anything going on to cause this, and nothing was discovered.

But whether or not there is something going on, in the meantime, it's very, very annoying.

I mean, who talks to a wall?

Apology?

2008-05-16T12:38:00.005-04:00

We had an incident on the field trip this year that just amazed me.

After spending an entire day talking about what is okay and what is expected, the day should have gone easily, and we should have all just had a blast.

Instead, several girls took it into their heads to separate from their group (which they had not wanted to be in the first place, but since the group they really wanted to be in already had 6, it wasn't an option) and join the group they originally asked for. Since we had lots of parent chaperones, plus the teacher group, the largest group of kids was 6, but most had 2-4.

After the chaperone who 'lost' the girls looked everywhere for them for an hour or so, she called the teachers, a little panicky.

Eventually, we tracked them all down and got it sorted out, though it was accompanied by many tears.

The girls said it was an accident, so we brought them all into lunch detention to discuss the situation.

After we heard their explanations (all different of course), we then tasked them with writing a letter explaining and apologizing, so that we could decide what their consequence would be.

Three of the girls did it, and mostly their stories made sense, and they all said they were very sorry.

One girl, however, was different. Instead of writing what happened and how she's sorry, she yelled at the teachers.

From the letter (titled, "Apoligy Letter"), exactly as she wrote it:

"I have now realized that what I have done was wrong. From now on whenever I go on Field Trips I will never go off with another chaperon, I have learned from my mistakes! It's mainly not my fault though....."

She continues and explains what she things happened, though she apparently wasn't too sure and said different things in various places.

Remember, she had wanted to be in a different, already-full group. She denies this, however:

"Now dont get my wrong I DID like my group for the field Trip I wasnt complaning, but If I'm being honest in this letter than I will say this... When Ms. Language Arts Lady said that I was in ______'s group, I didnt like it but than I realizad that I should give her a chance."

That's sounds good, right? Well, it gets better. Apparently objecting to us remembering that she was upset when we formed her group, she goes on to say:

"So I did. And guess what! I was fine with my group!!! I didnt leave the group cause I didn't like who was in it, I left because I had permission! Okay?!! Now listen remember when me (and the other students who also switched groups without permission) had lunch detention? Well and you teachers occused me of not caring that I was in trouble well..... NEWS FLASH! I do care not If I didnt care then I wouldnt be writing this!"

I really don't understand why she was trying to get out of a punishment by yelling at the people she has annoyed... During the lunch detention, the other girls tried to explain what happened, and sniffed little tears, etc. She sat and positively smirked, smiled, grinned, and laughed, completely not caring as she had already gotten her way, and since she rarely comes to school, she knew she just would avoid the remainder of her punishment.

"oh also thanks For making me fell EXTRA Sad I mean I already fell bad as it is. When you teachers were talking to me in lunch detention I know that I didnt look like I cared but trust me I care a lot!!!! also I realized I could have got stolen! and I would want that to happen so....." (about 1,000 more periods)

Then she added:

"I'm SORRY" covering the whole last page.

Wow... We really didn't know how to take this. I know she was upset, but an apology letter should contain an apology, and most definitely not a tirade.

So the other girls got one more day of lunch detention for disobeying and putting themselves into danger, let alone scaring the chaperone to death.

She got two more days... one for the same, one for the attitude.

Heaven help the 7th grade teachers.

Projects

2008-05-12T22:05:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I really dislike doing projects.

The kids did a really nice job this year with the projects. I got some amazing things, that showed the really thought about it, worked, and then were able to explain why they did what they did.

We got cakes, chicken dishes, salads, muffins, cupcakes, and more food items. We got a stage for the actresses one of the kids made out of dolls, a castle, a prairie type wagon.

But the problem with these projects is that the never, ever get taken home.

EVER.

The projects were presented about three weeks ago. Most of the items are here.

I really wish they'd take their stuff home.

Teacher Appreciation Week

2008-05-10T12:27:00.000-04:00

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week in our... well, I'm not sure if it's our state, or our county, but it's this week. It might even be national, but not sure.

Anyway, the point is, this week is Teacher Appreciation Week. They advertise it everywhere, like in stores, where they tell you that they are having a sale on things to buy for your child's teachers.

Local restaurants are having specials on various foods (like a free taco) for teacher this week, and Barnes and Noble had a special discount.

At my old school, I got a few really nice things and a couple of wonderful cards made by the children.

Last year, at this school, I received nothing. Not even a card. While I don't think I'm entitled to something, it is really nice to receive cards from the children, because that shows I made a difference in their life.

Or at least taught them how to write.

This year, I have received the strangest things.

From one of my kids, I received a HUGE bouquet of long-stem flowers. So big, I currently have them in water... in my trash can. (Girls in my first class today washed it out, then filled it with water, and then plunked the flowers into it. I think it makes a statement. Not sure what that statement is, though).

Then, got some home-baked mini-muffins, a candle, a box of candy, and some bath things.

All very nice, plus I got a lovely card with a poem about me on it. (SO CUTE!)

But the present that broke my heart was from one of my students that doesn't have a lot, and it was obvious that she does not have a lot. Her present was painstakingly wrapped, in a bag that has been used before, and it had a candle and a ring, both obviously having been found somewhere around the house.

The sweetness of that breaks my heart. She wanted to get me a present, and since she didn't have a way to purchase a present, she found things to give instead.

That, right there, is one of the reasons I keep teaching.

Oh, The Drama

2008-05-09T11:22:00.001-04:00

Now, I love my students, almost all of them, and even the ones I don't love I love the idea of them, if not them as a person... Like, you cannot like everyone, but as long as you treat them fairly, it's okay.

(Wow, that was a confusing chunk of words. I guess I just mean I love the kids, but some I don't love.)

I particularly feel empathetic with the girls. If I were to chose to have one or the other as my particular student (for a group for a field trip, or something) it would likely be a girl.

Might be because I am a girl, I don't know, but I do know some of my other teachers (who are also girls) enjoy boys better, and then some male teachers who like one or the other, all for various reasons, so I guess it just depends on your personality, or your previous experiences.

But something I do not like about the girls: drama.

The boys do not go in for drama, usually. Of course you cannot just make a blanket statement, but mostly it's true. When boys fight, they hate each other, then smack each other, then they're over it, and are friends before boarding the bus in the afternoon, and hangout that night at each other's houses.

Girls do not do that. If things escalate into something so severe as a fight, it takes much, much longer, with much more drama than a mere punch or kick, to resolve.

Case in point, one of my team's best friend duos, never seen apart, always together, best buds, had a huge fight recently. Over, get this, the book one of the girls was reading.

Why did this cause a huge, painful drama? I still don't understand, but I do know they are now total enemies, who have drawn all the rest of the girls in their class onto one side or the other. They write mean notes to the other girls about each other, they call each other names, they ignore each other, etc.

They were best friends, but now they cannot even stand to look at each other, and now, instead of being far apart in the seating chart because of the possibility of them chatting, they're apart so they won't fight while I'm trying to teach.

Not all of the teachers on my team have the two together, to which I say loudly, "Not fair!"

Boys just don't do things like that.

I noticed at the theme park how calm the day was with just boys (we had five of them with us the whole day). There were no mean words (except for friendly banter), no sudden changes of allegiance, no worries about looking dumb, and most importantly, no tears.

Now, this is not to say the boys don't cry, because they do. They actually cry more than 6th grade girls, but boys don't cry over friend stuff. They just smack each other and feel better.

So while I do love talking to the girls, I am really, really tired of the drama.

In 6th grade, I guess because of puberty coming and the difference between boys and girls, the girls get down-right mean. They are mean to their parents, their best friends, their teachers, and with whomever else they have contact.

Now, because they still mostly are young and sweet, they will be mean to their friend (like, your shirt is UGLY and you're DUMB!) then cry about how they will be hated forever, and they're sad they're not friends anymore, etc.

As a teacher, I spend way too much time soothing their little conflicts. I don't mean to say they aren't worth it, and I know that it's important that I am teaching them how to interact with others.

But still, they didn't teach me this in college. They didn't mention I would be soothing tears because so-and-so called them stupid and said their shoes are too big.

No matter how many times I explain that it doesn't really matter what someone says, because it doesn't change reality (i.e., if you are dumb, then someone saying it doesn't change anything, or if you are smart, if someone says you're dumb doesn't make it so) I still have the same issues, and the same ruffled feathers to smooth.

I tired of it last year, but then I discovered this:

I love that poster. I sometimes just indicate the poster when they're obviously being silly, and not truly upset.

That poster has saved me so many words this year.

I love posters!

Seating Chart Woes, Part Two

2008-05-07T14:33:00.000-04:00

As I have mentioned, the ideal seating chart is elusive. But it is necessary to change them around at least once per 9 weeks, or you will have a full-out mutiny. Because I was planning the field trip, I was not very quick this 9 weeks to devise a new one, as I was busy.

It makes sense, right? Making sure that we don't forget to order a ticket for one kid, making sure to get all the lunches we are required to get, etc, plus doing the regular teaching and grading duty doesn't leave much time for shuffling student desks.

But to the kids, it doesn't make sense.

I kept telling them I was not doing it because I was busy trying to make sure we could actually go on the trip. They were almost insane with excitement about going, but they did not understand how much work it was. It was just fun to them, no work involved but surviving until that day.

They ask why I don't do it at home. I explain I do have to, you know, eat, and clean various things at my house occasionally.

They stare blankly at me.

Apparently, it's a hard concept for kids to understand that their teachers do indeed have lives outside of school. Teaching is a different type of profession, sure, but it's still a job, and you still have things to do at home, just like their parents.

So I am going to do it today, barring all major interruptions, while they are working on their assignments. This is generally hard to do, because they constantly ask me questions, mostly unnecessary ones.

I will tell them if they interrupt me, I will never finish.

This might work. I can always hope, anyway.

(Probably not.)

Save Me from Theme Parks

2008-05-05T09:12:00.004-04:00

Now, I love theme parks like most people. I love the rides, the fun, the learning experiences provided by them (some of them, at least), and the shopping!

But please, don't make me take 100 12-year-olds with me.

We recently went on a large, end-of-the-year field trip. It was lovely. But it was exhausting.

On my team, I did all the work. All of it. I made the letter to send home. I made the permission slip. I made the list of the kids going, the kids not going, the bus list, I collected the paperwork for the parents who wanted to chaperone, I made the groups, I made the free/reduced lunch list (even down to milk choices), I filled out the form, then I drove to get all of our tickets.

I seriously did almost everything.

Now that it's over, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I managed to get 100 kids out of school, to the right place, and back to school with no losses or injuries!

I know that on my team, at least two other people would have helped me (the women, I'm sorry to say, as I have come to the conclusion that men (or at least the men on my team) stink at organizing things, and can barely do things if told exactly what to do), and one of them was very willing to help, but still, I did it all.

We did have lots of fun, I admit. We have much better behaved kids than last year, so that was a huge plus. The bus ride to and from was awesome when compared to last year. The kids just sat there, and talked quietly (or sang. Not sure what's going on, but the newest thing they like to do is sing in groups. It drives me crazy. They're supposed to be working, and they start singing.) Last year, we had yelling, kids up and walking around, eating, throwing things; just general chaos.

Riding on a bus (with air conditioning no less!) that just rode the bus was restful.

Upon arriving, the kids quickly ate their lunches, then entered the park with their chaperones and scattered. The teachers all heaved a great sigh of relief, as we managed to get there unharmed and managed to get approximately 400 6th graders away from school, off the bus, and in the park, with no damage. It amazes me how much logistical planning it takes to get the kids off of school grounds, and taking the entire 6th grade makes it even more difficult.

Then we enter the park with our group of kids, and simply enjoy the day.

I got completely soaked on the water ride.

One of the boys (we had all boys with us) dumped his lemonade all over my pants and foot.

One of the other boys showed an alarming tendency to wander off, as he didn't really want to be with us in the first place.

But otherwise it was a fun time had by all.

Worrying Times...

2008-05-01T12:07:00.001-04:00

Due to the budget cuts that effecting everywhere thanks to the housing issues and the recession (especially our area, due to an ill-advised tax cut that is going to cost us our shirts, instead of save us thousands as they promised), our school had a special meeting today.

In it, we learned that we have to cut our budget for next year. To the tune of about $500,000.

I'm sorry, but that's a lot of money.

And since most of the money needs to come out of the personnel budget, that's a heck of a lot of teachers that will not have a job next year.

This makes me nervous.

I am a good teacher. I receive good reports. I have areas I need to work on, but who doesn't? I shouldn't have to worry about losing my job, especially since it's not like we have less students. We are actually getting more students.

We have and awesome administration, and they have been very honest with all of us, and told us how they will tell the people who will need to look for a new job immediately, so they have the greatest opportunity to get a new position somewhere else.

I am not one of the teachers who will not be coming back, and I am very, very grateful.

Still, it's an absolute shame that education should be so underfunded. None of our good teachers should have to find a new job in a new profession, or a new state even, when the number of students hasn't changed and they are good teachers, not mediocre teachers.

I am very sad as I hear about who is not coming back to various schools. It makes me very nervous, even if I am good for this coming year, what happens if more cuts are coming our way? Then it will be even worse, and more teachers will be "released" or reassigned.

I really hope something very positive happens very soon, and this will all be just a bad memory.

I really, really don't want to do another job interview.

A Bad Day

2008-04-25T11:53:00.004-04:00

Remember when I mentioned Meet Your Teacher? It's the thing at the beginning of the year that allows the parents and kids to look at their teacher, follow their schedule and get a feel for where the classrooms are located, and so on.

It's the week before school starts. So we haven't seen gotten a roster yet, we don't know the names of any of our kids, we're still setting up the classroom, trying to get copies made, posters hung, and myriad other things that demands attention before school can begin.

Well, we recently had a parent conference with a parent, who screamed at me, and said she had told me that if I had ever had a problem with her child, that I was supposed to immediately pick up the phone and call her, and she would take care of the problem and make sure it didn't happen. That she had problems with her child last year, since midway through the year no work was completed.

I said sure, I could do that. So did the other teachers, back then at Meet Your Teacher. You know, the one that happened before school started. So I didn't know her, or her child, or even their names.

Now, if I was a parent, and I knew that my child had a habit like that, I would have let school get started, then called the teacher and had a little chat about what my child likes to do, and ask if the teacher could keep their eyes peeled for any indication it was happening, so that I could deal with it immediately.

But that is apparently too hard to do. It's much easier to wait until there is about 1 month left in the school year, make a conference, and scream at each of the teachers in turn about how you were not notified that you child was failing.

When it was mentioned that the report cards and progress reports serve as a notification, we were told that she had not "seen any f*** report cards." (not as bad as it could have been; it wasn't the actual word, but it was a pretty vulgar substitution anyway, and I must say it offended me.)

I'm really sorry, and maybe I could have said something to mollify her, but at this point, I shut down. I can't handle being screamed at, I really cannot. I mean, beyond the simple fact it's not polite, she has no right to speak to me in such a manner. I am not her child, I am not her servant. I am a professional, who has a real job, who went to school and worked hard for my degree, so that I could teach these children as I love to do. How dare she scream at me?

This really upset me, and I am still upset. I am not sure what she was hoping to get out of this, but I can assure you I am officially not committed to helping her figure out a solution.

This might be childish on my part, but I'm sorry, and I cannot help it. Maybe in 20 years time I will be more philosophical about it all, but not yet.

Add to the horror of getting yelled at by someone I don't know, we were not supposed to be alone with this parent, as administration has had previous contact with her, and she has been a little aggressive and belligerent. So, we were supposed to have an administrator and the guidance counselor, neither of whom came. I think someone outside of the situation would have helped immensely, as they could have said calming things and explained how it is not acceptable to speak to us like that, and ways to resolve the issue.

Instead, we have no resolution. The parent says that it's our fault her child is failing, because if we had just called, just once, it would have changed instantly.

We did try to explain that we sent home lots of things with her child, explaining she has received a low grade on something, or she wasn't doing something, or sending her tests home to be signed. When we pulled the child's file, it was stuff full of things from one class, then nothing from the other classes. When we showed her that her own signature was on the tests, she claims only one of them, and calmly tells us the rest are forged, and that her child is really good at forging.

Then, she tells us, that's not the problem, though. The forging wouldn't be happening if her child knew that she had received a phone call from the school.

Well, we're sorry, but we did not remember that you had talked to us, before we knew your child's name. So we didn't call, because, and this is the most annoying part, her child is in all advanced classes. So, we should not have to check up on her constantly, as she is in advanced classes. It's the same thing as how we do not have tutoring for the child, since they are in advanced classes, and if they cannot keep up, they need to not be in advanced.

Anyway. It was a very bad day, and I felt sad and snappish the remainder of the of the day. I don't blame the kids for their parents, since they cannot help it, but it's still hard to not see the mom when you look at the kid.

So, anyway. Parents need to remember that the vast majority of teachers really want whatever is best for your child, and if you work with them, and be polite and patient, they are thrilled to help you. I love my super-involved parents. They make my life much easier.

So. Just thought I'd share one of the very very negative things about teaching.

But I still love doing it.

Not sure why sometimes, but I do.

The Mouse

2008-04-21T15:50:00.005-04:00

Well, we still haven't found a friend for the mouse, but I think at this time it's too late. So instead will just love her as she is.

How could you not love this face?

Plus, I had never told the students that there was even an option for babies, as they would be driving me insane asking when it would happen, and other irritating things.

Look at her cute tail! I love how it wraps around your hand or whatever she's on. The kids do, too, though some of them are creeped out.

Anyway. Since we are soon to be celebrating National Poetry Month, the kids will write poems about the mouse.

She doesn't know it yet.

Neither do they.

I'll have to share some of them once they're written. 12-year-old poetry is awesome.

Mostly hilarious in its badness.

But awesome.

A Tiny Slice of Heaven

2008-04-13T11:47:00.004-04:00

These things can make a day perfect:

The children actually getting something the first time, and participating in the activity, and enjoying it.
The period's troublemaker(s) in ISS (this is a very sweet bliss. You know the class is going better than usual, it's quiet, everyone's working, and it's not until almost the very end until you realize it's because someone is missing.)
A parent calling or emailing because they're happy about what I have done.
A student who never does any work turning in homework.
An F student (and I mean a low F student) turning up with a C at report card time, unexpectedly.
Seeing the students being thoughtful and caring to each other (holding the door, picking up things a neighbor student dropped, etc)

Just a tiny bit for now. I am going back to grading essays.

More About the Mouse

2008-04-06T21:04:00.000-04:00

Well, the mouse has been with us for about three months now. The children still love her, and fight, I mean fight, to be the ones to clean her cage (ugh).

Now they are all trying to get on her "good side."

How do they do this? I am not sure, but they argue over who she likes best. This is particularly silly since I don't just let everyone hold her, as I am afraid she'll become leery of hands and bite someone. So they get to hold her if they clean her cage or bring something in for her, like bedding or food.

So I'm not sure how they judge this.

I have heard them use the way she runs in her ball on the floor as proof she likes one student over another... "See! She likes me, since she always comes this way first!" "No, no! Me, since she always goes straight to my backpack!"

I just laugh.

The science teacher on my team, where I originally got the mouse, has decided it would be fun to have more mouse babies, and since Souris is such a good little pet, he thinks we should let her have a friend.

Then we'll have lots of adorable mouse babies running everywhere (in just 28 days, I think he said.)

Now, before you freak out, Souris' babies would be only pets, not for food. He has a set of mice that he keeps for feeder mice, but mostly he buys them. He wants a class pet the kids can hold for his room, and I have several kids who want one, so I can give the rest of them away.

He thinks they'll be the best pets ever, since as soon as their eyes open, there will be tons of faces peering at them, and they'll be used to it.

I say, why not. So I'll have to keep you updated on how it goes in mouse-world. I'll get a picture posted sometime soon of Souris, and then of any babies.

I hope this is fun, and not a big, huge mess.

(Please)

I'm Confused...

2008-04-03T10:09:00.002-04:00

I am very confused about something; I just don't get it.

Why would a parent contact a teacher right before Spring Break, when grades are due before we leave, and ask what their child can do over the break to improve their grade?

Now, maybe if the parent didn't know when grades are due, that might make more sense. But as we had just had a parent conference, emails exchanged that begins to border on epic, and phone calls, all mentioning that grades are due before the break, it wasn't news.

This particular child had been doing nothing all 9 weeks. Nothing. So much nothing that she only had a 26%, and honestly, my absolute lowest kid (who is not capable of much, though the sweetest thing you'll ever meet) has managed a 69% this 9 weeks, so it's not the rigor of the work she cannot handle. She just won't do anything.

Not even classwork! Or group classwork!

Since at the time of progress reports her grade was low across the board, we had a parent conference and explained what the problem was. There was tears, promises, and threats exchanged during that conference, but the next day, the very next day, she did not have her homework, nor even a pencil to do her work!

I know that parents are not at school with their children, and they cannot control their every movement. Speaking from experience, however, if I had tried any of the stuff this child is pulling (and I did have my own troubles with schooling), I would have been punished so severely I don't know if I'd remember my name.

But I digress.

Why would you ask what to do to improve her grade? Even if you had her do everything she was missing in all of her classes (which I would make her do, myself, if I was her parent, regardless of if she got credit for any of it... it would teach her that she can't get out of the work by being lazy), as a team, we don't accept late work. If we made a super-huge exception, and offered 1/2 credit, she still would be failing, since she didn't do her classwork and she failed her tests.

Not only the fact that it's too late, we told you when we met a very short time ago what to do to improve her grade, but nothing happened. It's too late. The grades are in. I am not going through the humongous hassle of submitting a grade change for your child since she did nothing all this 9 weeks and you knew she was doing nothing.

So I am confused as to what you want to happen.

Well, actually, I know you just want her to get a passing grade, as you've told us that. And I know you want us just want us to "make it work," which I am guessing means just give her the passing grade.

But I'm not going to do that, as it's not fair to the students who have worked their rears off this 9 weeks, and it's not fair to the teachers, who have tried to work with you, and it's not fair to the 7th grade teachers, who will get your child next year, unable to do 6th grade work, let alone be up to doing 7th grade work.

I'm sorry, but sometimes children just need to fail, and learn there is a consequence to failure. It's not polite to talk about, but it's true.

So let her fail, teach her how to change it, and move on.

And please don't ask me, again, to change her grade!

Fun With Analogies

2008-03-28T23:02:00.003-04:00

There is nothing funnier than a 6th grader trying to do analogies.

Since the things are on every standardized test out there, I figure the sooner they get them, the better. It was also a nice way to spend the time after our big test calming down, while still accomplishing real work.

I told them that it was just a new way of looking at pairs of words. I told them it was like a trivia game, where they had to figure out what the words had in common. I told them that some were really tricky, while others were simple.

Right after I got through telling them all of these things, including going over the sample one below, I told them to do the 8 ones on the board. (We had to go over some of the unfamiliar words, but then I turned them loose, to do their best.)

Sample: horse : ranch :: bird : nest

Did you know that:

The answer to clothes : closet :: includes:

hat : floor?
dresser : drawer? (you don't put the dresser in the drawer)
boot : shoe?

Going over the answers with them brought to light other gems, including the fact that

lifeguard : beach :: buoy : raft (I didn't understand this one)

and

even : odd :: three : four (I didn't know that three and four were opposites, did you?)

Then, to make life even funnier, I had them write their own. I learned many things throughout this lesson, and I just had to share with you the best things. I can't believe I never knew this stuff!

toilet : bathroom :: seed : plant (I asked him to explain, but I never did understand this one)

black : white :: red : blue (I didn't know that the opposite of blue was red. It may well be, actually, but you'd have to be almost an artist to know that, and the kid wasn't. He just thought (in his head) they were).

toe : foot :: hand : leg (your hand is secretly attached to your let, don't you know?)

dog : cat :: chip : dip (I said, WHAT?? She just giggled and ran away.)

I know there were more things I learned, but I can't remember them. It's a shame, since I told myself I had to remember these little nuggets of wisdom, since they would do me good to know. Hey, it might have helped me out while I was watching Jeopardy!

Oh, well. I guess knowledge is fleeting.

Confessions of Guilty Students, Part Two

2008-03-21T13:51:00.002-04:00

The same day as I had my little guilty student confessing to property defacement, I had another student hand me a folded up note, looking miserable, as soon as she walked in.

I looked at her, then looked at the note, dreading reading the contents myself. Usually, when students present me with notes, they are from their parent telling me why he or she cannot do what I have asked them to do.

Here are some examples of actual notes from parents that I have received.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Language Arts Lady, but I threw away her project. Could you please give her full credit? I saw it, and it looked pretty good."
"I told him not to do your work, because I thought it was not important, and I didn't see what he was learning by doing it."
"I looked at the work, but since I couldn't figure out what you wanted him to do, I couldn't help him, so I just said don't do it. Please forgive him."
"She had a softball game so she couldn't do the work."
"I know my son is failing your class, so I need you to raise his grade. I don't think he is showing that he doesn't understand, so it's obviously something that you're doing as you grade. Please update his grade immediately and send me the new percentage."

So I just knew this note would be a doozy.

I opened it, and I saw it wasn't from her parents, but from her. I read it. In it, she confessed, in very dramatic, very apologetic words, that she lied to me, and she's so embarrassed.

I told her that I would think about it, and what I wanted to do, and get back to her. She slumped off, looking miserable, and went over to her little friends, who looked miserable with her, and patted her.

I, meanwhile, wanted to laugh.

Here's what happened:

The day before, I had thought she was chewing gum, as she was chewing something. I called her up and asked her what she was chewing, and she told me it was her tongue. I told her to stop chewing her tongue, as it looks like she was chewing gum, and if she was caught chewing her tongue again, she would receive the consequence for chewing gum.

Now, I knew she had been chewing on something, for I saw her. I figured, however, that she was a really good girl (she is) and she wouldn't lie to me, so I accepted her answer. Other students would have been questioned more deeply.

So her telling me she had been chewing gum made me think that I wasn't losing my mind; she had been chewing gum.

In her lovely note, she tells me that she did the most embarrassing thing ever, and she lied to me. She tells me she will never chew gum in school again or lie to a teacher. She mentions she is wiling to accept any punishment, and she knows that it will take time for me to trust her again.

I am thrilled by this note. It shows that her conscience (and I have a sneaking suspicion, her parents helped) punished her far more effectively than I ever could.

So, I asked her to stay back after class to talk. I felt like an executioner, as all of her friends looked like I was a horrible, mean teacher, and they all lined up to hug her, and whisper things in her ear.

(What on earth did they think I was going to do?)

Before I said anything, she was crying. I hate when they cry pitifully.

I talked about how I was disappointed to find that she had lied to me. However, I am thrilled that she has come forward with the truth like this. I told her how happy it made me that she was so truthful to confess, since she had "gotten away with it." She sniffed as I talked.

I told her she was not going to get any further consequence, since she was so honest, and she had come forward on her own. I did ask if writing the letter had been her idea or her parents (her parent's idea).

I also told her that I didn't think any less of her, since she admitted her mistake, and was willing to work to correct it, and to STOP WORRYING, since I am not mad at her.

So I sent her off to lunch, sniffling, and into the arms of her waiting, sympathetic friends.

She survived the evil teacher.

I am, apparently, very scary.

Oh, well.

Who Ordered Raisins?

2008-03-20T11:13:00.000-04:00

Never give 6th graders raisins. It's a waste of money buying them, as the kids seriously would rather starve than eat them. (At least they would rather starve according to them. I figure they'd eventually get hungry enough to eat them, but it wasn't before the test.)

We had our official state testing this week and last week. It's over. Hooray!

Of course, the kids think that means they don't have to work anymore. This is not good, as our administration keeps reminding us teachers that school is not over, so we have to likewise remind the kids.

This is made harder by us feeling that school is over, and it's time for a holiday.

The test went well. The kids seemed to focus, and try their hardest. They enjoyed the snacks each day before the test, and loved seeing what they would get each day.

We got fake goldfish, Graham crackers, and the ill-liked raisins, plus orange juice, water, and more orange juice.

But I still have a mountain of raisins on my desk.

Oh, well. At least the test is over!

Confessions of Guilty Students, Part One

2008-03-11T11:12:00.000-04:00

Today we were working on "dry erase boards." (These are boards that I made myself, as I am way too cheap to buy a board for each student. I took a clipboard, a sheet of purple paper, and a page protector, and made my own. They really work surprisingly well. Each kid gets one, and an eraser and a dry erase marker, and we check our understanding with that. For instance, I say, "Okay, what did you get for number 1?" and they all write their answer and hold it up. If most of them got it correct, we move on. Otherwise, we go over it. This was a much more exciting way to review for our state's standardized test).

This has a tendency to make the kids very silly and loud, but as long as they're focused, and going along with me, I don't really care. Since we do have to spend crazy amounts of time reviewing for the test, I would rather make it as painless as possible.

And, honestly, it's much easier for me, since they are not whining nearly as much as they did last year.

Anyway, we were using them, and it was working beautifully. I had collected all of the boards, and I was wiping them all of to put away. I noticed that one of my brand-new, used by only two classes, boards had graffiti on it!

I was instantly very, very annoyed.

If you have one thing with writing on it, the kids assume it's all right, and very soon all the boards will be disgusting.

I was more irritated because this was my advanced class, and my regular kids had used them the day before and I did not have that problem.

I started up with my lecture about how I was annoyed, and how someone had ruined my brand-new things, and how I had bought them myself, to make it better for them to learn, and I had just gotten started, when I asked who had done it. The kids were looking really nervous. I don't generally have to fuss at them often, and I was truly upset.

I got all set to continue my lecture until someone fessed up. I was going to tell them that I knew was one of them, as it was not there yesterday and they were the only ones who had used them today.

Then one tiny, timid hand went up.

I went, "AHHHHHH! Why did you do that?! My stuff? Why did you write on my stuff, child?"

She just looked really, really sad.

I told her to say after class. The the rest of the class remained looking nervous, but not as nervous as our little culprit.

After I dismissed everyone and I was alone with her, I interrogated her. After I was through, I had found out that she had thought it would erase. She didn't think it would be permanent.

I sighed at her.

Then I told her how proud I was of her for immediately confessing that she was the one who had done it, and I knew it wasn't easy to do. I also told her I was still pretty disappointed she would ruin something of mine that was brand new. I reminded her I was proud she confessed. But disappointed.

So I told her I was just tired, and a little sad. She was very contrite that she had caused it, and then went to her next class.

You can bet, however, I warned the next class within an inch of their lives.

One smiley face I'll except.

Never two.

Do Not Lie to Your Mother!

2008-03-08T18:55:00.004-05:00

Three times this past week I received irate messages from mothers saying, "Why did you ________ to my child? He/She didn't do that!" Each time what I did was different, and each time I had not done that to their child!

I am tired of children who lie to their mothers, and then their mothers are annoyed with me. It's not my fault!

Like a student whose cell phone I had taken. The mother called me and asked why I had unfairly confiscated her child's cell phone. Before I even tried to defend myself, I asked what their child had told them... and was told that I took it out of his backpack, for no reason, and he was just sitting there when I swooped down and took it.

I had to laugh.

I said, "Um, that's not quite what happened." Then I explained what had happened. In the first place, our school policy says that students may have cell phones if their parents are worried about their safety getting home. However, they are required to be in their backpack at all times, and off at all times. This does not mean in their pocket.

Her child had his phone out, and was playing games on it. Then, after I had told him sternly to put it away, it had rung during class. That was it; I had taken it. I turned it over to the 6th grade office, and they now had it, so if she wanted to pick it up, she was welcome to do so.

Boy, was she mad, and thankfully not at me, but at her child. I doubt he'll see that phone again for awhile, regardless of when she actually picks it up.

Another student had told her mother that I had not accepted her work, and she wasn't sure why.

Again, irate voicemail. I explained again... she was turning stuff in that was not even from this 9 weeks. Our team has a no-late work policy, but in any case, even if I had made an exception, it was from 4 months ago. I believe any excused work reason had expired.

Finally, a mom was mad because, "I picked on her daughter and had embarrassed her in front of the entire class."

Her daughter had burped in my class, while it was relatively quiet, and she had been playing up everyone for awhile before that to make everyone laugh. It was easy to tell she made it louder than it needed to be, since it was forced sounding, and not at all stifled. So I told her to leave the classroom, and I would be with her in a minute.

The mom told me it was "a natural bodily function, and you can't punish a child for that."

I explained that in my years of teaching, I had never, not even once burped while I was in the classroom. I told her that it wasn't a tiny burp, it was very loud. I explained that I always kicked the kids out when they did things like that, as I didn't want to tell them in front of the all the children that I find them rude and their behavior unacceptable. I personally would find this more embarrassing than being told this same information outside.

So she was finally satisfied with my answers, but not really with my actions.

Do I overreact to burping? I don't think so. Kids these days seem to be deteriorating in manners. I feel that as their teacher, it's part of my job to ensure that they will be able to be in polite society, and manners are a necessary part of that. If they're not getting them at home, I am hopefully helping them learn some. Plus, and this might be more accurate, they are kids. They need reminders.

Anyway, it was a long, long week.

I hope next week will be better.

Wait... next week is the TEST. And we have two parents conferences.

Oh, help.

NOT a Good Day

2008-03-07T12:12:00.004-05:00

Today is a day that I question my sanity in becoming a teacher.

The children are not doing well, I don't think I have taught them anything, they don't remember anything even if they did understand it once, they don't any more, and they won't be able to show their knowledge on the test. And if I did ever have enough patience to do this, today it's not in evidence.

Essentially, today is NOT a good day.

You know it's not a good day when you've already made yourself a cup of coffee (for the caffeine energy) and then drank your only remaining soda (also for the caffeine) and it's not even past the 1st period of the day.

Examples of things that went wrong today:

Students I need to talk to are absent. I needed them to finish their tests today, as I need to turn them in. But they are absent. Again. Who keeps their child home the week before standardized testing?
The kids are constantly arguing across the room. They don't seem to care that I asked them, repeatedly, to stop.
The children are all sick. So they are grouchy, and really, really germy, and coughing, in a gross way.
I forgot my lunch.
I managed to borrow the laptops so the kids can use them to practice their skills online, but the website we use is down. It went down just as my 1st class signed on. It came back up for a bit, then went back down.
It was down for the first 15 minutes of my next class.

Other things I can't remember.

Today is not a day I will remember with fondness. Nor is it a day I will be glad I'm a teacher. I am normally thrilled I get to be a teacher. I usually love my job and the kids.

But not today.

Save Us From the Fire Alarm!

2008-03-05T19:01:00.000-05:00

Picture this:

Every teacher and student in my entire school. Outside.

In the muddy field. The last period of the day. For 1 hour.

Because the firm alarm detected something.

Nothing the human eye or nose could detect, either. Just something.

It was hot, the kids were crazy, and as I have mentioned before, our school has to take all 1400 of our kids across the road, stopping traffic, and go through a tiny gap in the fence, to stand on the field.

This takes forever.

This time, since it was an unplanned evacuation, the kids started crossing the street before there was anyone to stop the traffic. So by the time the first teachers got there, the kids were darting across the street while the cars drove around them.

The cars didn't stop. NOT EVEN ONE stopped. They just drove through the kids.

So that was a nightmare, right there. The kids were being pushed onto the road by the thousands of kids pushing form behind, like penguins pushing each other into the water to see if the polar bears are there to eat them.

(And I'm sorry, but the adults who were still driving, you should be ashamed of yourselves! There was obviously a problem, since there were schoolkids in the road. Be adults and do the safe thing and stop! If our SRO (the school's police officer) had been there, I can promise you would have received several tickets. Use your brain!)

Anyway. They're going to work on that plan... what to do if it goes off unexpectedly.

So we stood outside for an hour. I took my kids all the way over to the track, sat them down, and told them not to move. Many teachers looked frazzled and constantly yelled at children who were attempting to escape to visit friends.

I had a good group, one that I didn't have to watch too carefully, and they mostly all stayed with me (save one notable exception, a boy who kept scooting farther and farther away, until he'd suddenly stand and make a bolt for freedom. I was a little annoyed by this around the third attempt).

They entertained themselves by sitting in a tight, little circle and singing. They sang "Kum-ba-yah," "Jingle Bells," and some ridiculous song that seemed to be about lemons that I had never heard before.

Then they played "Duck, Duck, Goose," which I doubt they had played recently.

I guess it wasn't a terrible experience, but I can assure you that period was a wasted period. We had just gotten started when the alarm went off, and then we got back and there was little time remaining, so the kids were so squirrely.

The funniest part was I was outside my classroom when the alarm went off (I was hanging up our comparison/contrast posters with my new ticky-tack) and when I went inside, the kids were completely panicked, since I wasn't there.

They knew where I was. I had explained what I was doing. I had the door propped open with a chair. I came back in every 30 seconds or so to get another one to hang up. They were working on their group projects, and they had been watching me, since they all wanted to tell me I was hanging up their poster.

Them completely freaking out demonstrates to me just how young they are.

Oh, well. I love them anyway.

(Except when I'm forced to keep them in a little group out on the track for an hour. Then I wish I didn't know any of them.)

It's COMING!

2008-03-03T19:54:00.000-05:00

Our state standardized test really is very close. I am a little slow getting stuff posted, as I am desperately trying to convince the children they do know how to identify cause and effect, and they really do remember what the main idea is, and how to come up with the supporting details for that main idea. And they do remember how to check their answers, and that they just have to eat before the test, regardless of the fact they don't eat breakfast normally.

So, I am still here, I am still gathering up little story gems to share... I just don't have time to get them down.

It's hard to think about writing about the kids seconds after they told you they didn't realize the test was next week.

Oh, help.

Parent Conferences

2008-02-29T20:28:00.002-05:00

I dread parent conferences.

When I was a new teacher, I dreaded parent conferences for different reasons. I was never quite sure how to judge their child's ability, then articulate this in a way that makes sense for the parent. I was afraid they'd look at me, and immediately want their child moved to another classroom, as I obviously was so young, and couldn't possibly know anything. Especially those parents who scheduled the conference because of the language arts grade.

I didn't really know how to tell them about their child's classroom behaviors, or what to tell them when they asked me how they can help their child improve. Essentially, it just made me really uncomfortable.

Now I'm not so uncomfortable meeting the parents, and I feel pretty confident about what I want to say and how to phrase it. I am not frightened of talking to them, as I used to be, and I am just chock full of the educational jargon that tells me exactly how to say what I need to without being overcritical and harsh.

Instead, I dread them because you simply never know how a parent is going to react.

This year, we have had a ridiculous amount of parent conferences, made even more ridiculous because we have had some with the same parents three times.

Sometimes, the parents come in with a massive attitude, mostly because they are embarrassed they have to be there in the first place. Somehow, in their mind, their child's misbehavior shows the entire world that they are terrible parents, and they have failed.

This is not true, parents. We do not view your child and say that you are a horrible parent. Since they are out of your site, and they are only children, you are not judged by their behavior, especially initially.

After we have met, or after we have communicated in some way about the trouble your child is having adjusting to the confines of the classroom, it does change a bit. When a parent promises that we will not see any of the negative behaviors anymore, and that they will be checking up on their child's homework and study time, but then does not follow through, we then start to wonder about what's really going on.

We still don't assume you're a bad parent! So parents don't need to come to their conferences so freaked out that they behave badly.

I can promise that you will be viewed negatively if you scream at me because your child got in trouble or about their grades. As the oft-repeated, annoying to hear, but ultimately very true expression says, "I do not give any child a grade... they earn them."

Sometimes parents come in obviously nervous, like they're afraid we are going to attack. Once they see how nice we are, the tend to relax, but they still look relieved when they are finally allowed to leave.

Other parents enter and are angry, but not at us. They are furious that their child has made them take time off of work to come and talk to all of their child's teachers. This is always intensified by the fact that it's generally because of unacceptable behavior or a total lack of effort on their child's parent, instead of a genuine lack of ability.

Sometimes the parents just sit there and get angrier and angrier, and you honestly feel bad for the child when they go home. This is especially true if they find out their child has been lying to his teachers and also to them.

Sometimes the parents start interrogating their child right there, and the kids starts crying. Sometimes the parents tell the kid right there what is going to be taken away when they get home that day. The kids tend to cry then, too.

Sometimes they reach over and smack them. Sometimes it's a little disturbing (not abusive at all, just a bit awkward), and other times it's hilarious. Like they bop them on their arm in frustration. Since we often feel like doing that, or shaking them when we don't understand their behavior, it's nice to see.

I guess the whole point of this is parent conferences are rarely something we look forward to, unless we have a large issue and are desperate to talk to a particular parent.

We have four next week, and I'm sure the only reason we don't have five is that they are not allowed to schedule ones on Tuesdays, because those are the days that we are supposed to be have meetings, if we need to have them.

We just had a fairly good one, where the parent seems to understand everything you say, and they promise to help the kid. Of course, the very next day the child was right back to his old behaviors, and didn't have his homework.

Another mother cried, and her son was horrified. He was good for just one full week... but he was perfect that week. Still, he didn't do any homework during that perfect behavior week.

Another recent one was... interesting. The parents were talking about how their child has all these problems, and needs lots of extra help, and we really need to be aware of the limitations of what we can expect in the way of classroom. However, until they meet with us, we had not known there was anything wrong or unusual with her. She was a little silly, but no more than any other 12-year-old. So we are watching her, but her difficulties all arise from her need to constantly talk.

And finally, we had a great conference, with a super-mom, who told us what she's now doing at home to help her son, and it was just great. After we leave conferences like that, we are always so much happier than when we get there.

So I guess that all conferences aren't the same. I guess I should change my mind about the idea of conferences.

I should, but I won't.

It's too easy to remember the ones who tell us horrible stories that just hurts my soul, or the ones who scream at us, or the ones who make things awkward by yelling at their child.

Ah, well. At least there are ones that work out nicely.

Thank goodness!

Fancy New Design!

2008-02-27T23:15:00.002-05:00

I love my fancy new design! I never knew you could change them without having vast technical skills and knowing a bunch of HTML... but I found a lovely website that has free layouts.

What do you think?

Now that I know you can edit it, I will likely change it every so often, just to keep things interesting.

So, do you like it? Or do you miss the old one? Let me know!

(A new post coming soon... our test is coming, and I have been very busy... I'm sorry)

Oh, if you're interested in this lovely design, please scroll all the way to the bottom of this page to find a link to the site that created this design. They also have quite a few other ones, and it was really easy to install.

I Really Hope They Eat...

2008-02-25T00:36:00.003-05:00

With our standardized tests coming up (so quickly it is scary), I can't help but think of the studies that show that kids who eat before tests (breakfast, I mean) do much better.

So I all I can think, in my most stressful moments, as they have answered the question incorrectly 3 times in a row (which leaves only the correct answer!), is, "Please parents, feed your child before the test! Get up early, make them eggs, bacon, toast, cereal, whatever they want and has some nutrition in it!"

Of course, my school, like many other schools, feed the kids before the test begins... they have been doing that for quite awhile (I remember the best part of the tests when I was in school myself was the food they gave us beforehand. Of course, they gave us donuts and an apple... not very healthy. My students now get cheese, cereal bars, milk, juice, etc.) But it's still no real substitute for a good, hearty breakfast.

Please, please! Feed your child!

6th Graders Need Help

2008-02-19T12:37:00.003-05:00

Okay, I know 6th graders are really very young. They are still children, only 12 years old, at the oldest, and some are even 10 turning 11!

But sometimes they are just so dumb!

Not always the bad kind... generally just the tiresome kind. (Honestly, this is also the funny kind, so it works out).

For example, the kids were working through a practice magazine, and we were focusing on compare/contrast and cause and effect.

For the 3rd item on their To-Do List, they needed to come and get a handout from me, and then complete one side for step 3 and the other for step 4. I handed the paper to them, but the second side was face up. They then return to their seats.

Most of the kids figured it out, and flipped the paper over. Most of them. But some, my advanced kids especially, came back up and handed me the paper and told me I gave them the wrong one.

I just shake my head at them. The other kids are quick to explain, most of the time, but sometimes they just stand there staring at me, until I can't take it and I laugh at them.

I tease them, and tell them they are very silly. They always laugh with me, understanding they are silly.

I love them, I really do, but sometimes it's just too much what causes them to have difficulty managing. I mean, should you really have to tell a 6th grader to turn their paper over?

Another thing that gets me is why they think I don't know it's them talking when they are supposed to be working silently.

It's not that hard to tell it's a particular student. It sounds like them, first thing. Since no one else is talking, it's pretty easy to figure out the part of the room the sound is coming from, and then narrow it down to the child who's leaning over their desk in a sneaky manner.

Add to that I placed all of my sneakiest kids within easy sight (and sound) of my desk, and I know exactly who it is, and generally exactly what they're saying.

So then, when they tell me, "Oh, but it wasn't me who was talking, Ms. Language Arts Lady! I would never talk when I should be working!!" I feel irritated. This type of dumb is the bad kind.

Then, when I had caught one of my students talking, and he told me he was talking because he was almost finished, and therefore had time, I ask to see his work.

He had written almost nothing, and it was so messy he might as well have been writing in a foreign language. Actually, it might have been better, because then I could have plugged it into an online translator, and gotten sense out of it.

Add to the horrible handwriting the fact he didn't add the quotation marks as he was supposed to do (he just copied random sentences).

He hasn't even gotten to handout, and when I asked to see his handout, he said, very belligerently, "What's a handout?"

Again, irritating.

So, while 6th graders are so much fun, and funny, and great to be around, sometimes their silliness, which is a large part of their amusement, can be very irritating.

What do you mean, "What's a handout?" You have been doing handouts in school since Kindergarten.

Comments like that really test the patience of teachers.

Mouse Drama

2008-02-15T15:22:00.003-05:00

Why does having one teeny, tiny mouse in a classroom create tons of drama?

She's very small (though also strangely fat, considering we do not feed her any snacks, only mouse food).

She's inconspicious, since she generally sleeps through the entire school day.

She's very, very quiet. I almost never hear anything from her, except on the rare occasion her wheel squeaks, or when I hold her, sometimes you hear a little squeak.

But if she dares to get up, the kids go crazy.

"Ms. Language Arts Lady! Ms. Language Arts Lady! The mouse is AWAKE! She's eating her food, Ms. Language Arts Lady! She's DRINKING! Oh, my gosh she's so cuuuuuuute!"

This, while really, really funny, is very distracting.

I am going to have to get a cover for her cage, because when they're already a little silly, the sight of any part of her makes them crazy.

Oh, well. I am planning on making them write journal entries and poems based on her.

Maybe then they'll just ignore her when she appears.

And it really is my own fault, since I chose to have her here... but she's still lots of fun to have around the kids. They are so funny with her.

Plus, she's a calming influence on some of them.

But mostly it's just because it's fun to have a classroom pet.

No Stupid Questions, Part 2

2008-02-13T14:09:00.001-05:00

Once again, I stopped to reflect on the idea of there being no stupid questions, except maybe the one you didn't ask.

If you ask me, that person just doesn't hang around with 6th graders.

Some gems I have recently heard:

"Who had the highest grade on our team?" - Why on earth would I remember that?

"Can I use my extra credit on the standardized test?" - Um... no. But thanks for thinking that my classroom stuff is so important as to affect the huge standardized test we do every year. I think.

"Does the word 'reign' mean the same as the word 'rain'?" - This was mere seconds after they had just answered (correctly, mind you) my question about the meaning of the word.

"Do I have to read this book?" - As they were signing up for their book for the project. Um, I guess you don't have to read it. But I also don't have to give you a grade for what you are not going to do.

"What did he say?" - Interrupting me to ask what another student said, who was already interrupting me to talk across the room.

"Can I have my cell phone back?" - This after one of the other student's phone rang in my class, because he had called him from my class, two rows over. Um, no, you cannot have your phone back. You'll get it eventually. When I have gotten over being mad. Eventually.

"Do I have to use a pencil?" - After I said, for the fourth or fifth time, you must use a pencil on this test.

"Am I really going to fail?" - This from a child who has not done one single homework assignment this year, and by year I mean this school year, not calendar year, and who fails every test. Um... yes. I am afraid you'll fail, unless you actually do something.

Why do they ask such ridiculous things?

Oh, well. At least they keep me on my toes.

Where are Your Parents?

2008-02-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

Why is that I see my students wandering the streets randomly on weeknights or weekends?

There is a large shopping center relatively close to where I live, and I have noticed that entire herds of middle schoolers (and high schoolers) roam there, every weekend at least, but most weeknights, too.

So much so that they have increased security, and the police department has large presence there.

Why on earth would you allow your 11- and 12-year-old wander, unsupervised? How on earth could you justify it? It's simply not safe.

We have all seen the news, about kids snatched and not returned. Why make it easy for them, and release your child in a contained place, and make it like shooting fish in a barrel?
It really disappoints me.

I mean, I was shopping the other day, and I felt like a movie star as I was walking around with my friends, hearing my name shrieked in excitement, followed by kids chasing me down and hugging me.

On the one hand, it was nice they wanted to see me that badly. On the other, I ask, always without fail, where is your mother?

Oh, she's at home.

Oh, I say. What is there to say to that?

Remember, parents, just because your kid says, "But all the other kids are doing it!" doesn't make it true.

And even if it is true, you don't have to listen. Keep your child safe!

Or go with them. It'll keep them safe, even if they don't like it.

Keep your kids at home!

Seating Chart Woes

2008-02-03T11:59:00.000-05:00

The perfect seating chart is elusive. It's hard to find the ideal spot for each kid, because some kids need to be in front, because of seeing difficulties. Then there the kids who have IEPs, which stands for Individual Education Plans (for various learning disabilities or differences), and it requires that they receive "preferential seating," which basically means that they need to be up front. I even have some kids with hearing issues, so they need to be pretty close, too.

But mostly, it's hard to do because you must separate all friends, as far apart as possible, as well as everyone who might someday become friends, usually due to a badly designed seating chart.

People who only remember school as a student might think that this is mean, since that is how they always took seating charts themselves, but teachers understand perfectly the art of making a good seating chart.

Actually, anyone in a classroom trying to get 30 kids to do something will immediately understand this phenomenon. It really is absolutely amazing how different your class can be if you have a bad seating chart versus a good seating chart.

Quite a bit of time is spent by teachers trying to get their students to stop talking to their neighbors and pay attention, or do their work, or copy the notes. This time can be almost (not quite, because they still are kids, and they can't be perfect, nor do I even want them to be) eliminated if you manage to find that perfect arrangement of desks and kids.

Of course, even the best seating chart doesn't last forever. You finally figure out all sets of friends in your class, and design the chart carefully around that, remembering to completely surrounding the extreme talkers with "pockets of silence," or kids who will not talk to anyone except their own friends (who are, blessedly, in another of my classes, or better yet, another team), or kids who are very shy, or kids who are enemies, or kids who are respectful and won't talk inappropriately.

You remember that child A hates child B, but their hate is volatile, and apt to go off in class unexpectedly.

You remember that the 1st 9 weeks, you had child F and child I next to each other, and they passed notes, even though they never actually talked, before or since the chart was changed.

But still. It doesn't last forever, since kids are resilient. They make new friends. So, after the entire 9 weeks, most kids have become comfortable, and are back at the talking game, so it's time to spice things up again and move them around, so they're not quite as comfortable, and they'll get back to the task at hand (learning), instead of what they have recently begun doing (socializing).

So every single 9 weeks they get new seats. They begin whining about 3 weeks before the grading period is over, saying they want new seats now, and they are tired of sitting here; whine, whine. Students who had no trouble days ago suddenly cannot see the board, the front of the classroom, or even you standing there, trying to get their attention.

"But Ms. Language Arts Lady! I left my glasses at home, so I didn't seeeeeee the homework written on the board!" (To which I respond, "Well, since I told you to write it in your planner as I was assigning it, and I have reminded you every day this week it was due, you didn't need to see it." They have no response to that.)

Finally, I spend the hours that it takes and redo the chart, which I then immediately implement, because the dumb things took me so long to do.

The second I say, "Pick up all your stuff and stand by the door," the whining begins again, but this time, they love their current seats, and they don't want to change, please, please, they'll be good, they promise.

12-year-olds are so tiresome sometimes!

I get them all seated in their new seats, amidst groans, moans, and eye-rolls, and finally get them settled.

They glance around, seeing how far away their friends are from their currently location. They figure out how far away from my desk they are, and then from where I generally stand to teach, and from the door. They realize (and announce at the top of their lungs) that I have arranged them boy-girl-boy. They remember (after remind them) they were boy-girl-boy (or maybe girl-boy-girl).

They analyze the kids on either side, searching for allies.

They glance nervously at me, since I am giving them all warning glances.

Honestly, I do enjoying moving them, because I can generally count on at least 1 full week of blessed silence, or at least quiet. It's really amazing. They have to get comfortable again before they'll start their chatting.

Or maybe it's just they use up all their noise in one burst when I move them, in complaint and general grumbling.

Maybe I should move them every week.

Maybe not.

Why Do They Lie?

2008-01-31T18:34:00.001-05:00

We have been slammed recently on our team (and I think our whole school) with parent conferences, since report cards have gone home recently, and since this time, there was a little letter attached explaining the retention/promotion policy, so parents became aware of just how serious those Fs in math, language arts, social studies, and science truly are.

Something we have noticed about our kids in these conferences is that they lie. They will stare you in the face and lie to their parents and to you. Then, they will look ashamed and sob.

Why do they do that? They know we are right there listening to them and we will bust them. For example, one student told his mother that he always does his homework in class, every day, so that's why he doesn't ever have homework.

Now, this is not true. In all of the classes on my team, we simply do not do homework in class, because we're busy doing classwork. It is a very, very rare occasion that allows them to even start their homework in class, let alone finish it. In my class, we perhaps begin homework in class once a month.

So of course, all of his teachers explained that this was not true, and he just doesn't ever do his homework, showing her the print out of his grades, which show he hasn't done any homework this 9 weeks.

Why would they do that? It incenses their parent, who is sitting right there, having to listen to people telling them their child isn't doing what they are supposed to. They are already annoyed, then to be confronted by their child lying? It embarrasses them, and makes for embarrassing scenes for us, the teachers, as the parent struggles with their anger and frustration at their child, and as the kid sobs.

Then, why do they lie when you sat and watched them do something? For instance, one of my troublemaking boys has recently been getting in quite a bit of trouble with all of his teachers.

His parents have been up to the school multiple times, the teachers call home weekly, we write notes in his planner every day, and more, but he still is struggling with his behavior.

He was sitting in class after he finished a test, and he was supposed to be reading his book. Instead, he had pulled out a toy and was playing with it.

In my class.

In the front row, during a test (so I am watching to make sure no one is talking or cheating), seconds after I had told him to read his book.

Then, after I took it away, he argued with me for 15 minutes about it. I finally tired of it, and told him to go and sit down, so he sat and pouted for the rest of class. After class, he came over to try to sweet talk me, to try to get it back.

I told him that he would have to have a good couple of days in a row to earn it back, which is my normal policy. Most kids are aware of their item in my possession, hanging over their head, and they get it back quickly.

Instead of accepting this and leaving, he starts to argue. Again.

He tells me that he was, "Just taking it out of my pocket to put something else away."

Now, I know this is a lie, since I watched him pull it out and play with it for awhile. I told him this, and how I had watched him play with it, and he said, "No, I was putting something away!"

I told him that he needed to leave now (since class was over and my other kids were trying to come in, but were hovering confusedly in the doorway, not sure if they could come in or not).

He starts shrieking about how it is his and he wasn't doing anything and it wasn't fair.

I was finished.

I wasn't going to sit and be yelled at by a child who had flat out lied to me about a dumb toy that shouldn't have been at school in the first place.

Later, at his parent conference, I told his parents about the incident, and his dad told me to just throw the toy away.

I love when parents are supportive. It makes me feel better about the struggles I have with their kids.

But I still don't understand why the kids lie to me. Or to their parents.

Why?

Little Details

2008-01-24T17:25:00.000-05:00

It's the little things that make up a whole day. Each little minute going by, moving into the next minute, adding up to a whole period, a whole day, a whole week.

Some of the the little minutes I have had in my classroom recently:

-One of the kids was answering a question about what a female seahorse does with her eggs. She wrote, "She takes her eggs and gives them to her husband to hold for about 2 weeks. Once they are ready, he lets them go back to his wife."

-One of my boys decided that the mouse's name was too difficult and started calling her "Sally." Now his whole class period calls her Sally.

-Upon receiving an A on a test, one of my girls came over to ask me if it was a mistake. She was serious! (How heartbreaking is that? She says she has never gotten an A in language arts. I told her I was so proud!)

-The boys trying, for the 9th time, to make it in the trash can in a game of improvised basketball. Me, asking them to stop, also for the 9th time, starting to sound irritated.

-The computer completely and totally crashing as I was trying to show the kids something on the Internet. Leaving them to stare at me, startled, then gleefully begin talking.

-Me forgetting to tune into the morning announcements for two days in a row. (It's not like it's not every morning, at the same time, or anything.)

-Letting the children go 20 minutes early for lunch because I was so very confused about the time, what day it was, what period it was, and having them brought back by my 6th grade administrator. (Whoops).

-My student assistant staring at me like I am insane as I teach. (I really don't like this. It feels a little strange, her staring at me the whole time. Doesn't she have homework??)

-Having a child have a complete breakdown in the media center, complete with screaming, crying, and stomping feet. (By screaming, I mean, SCREAMING, not just yelling). He wasn't allowed to check out a book, since he forgot his ID that day. (The look on the media clerk's face was pretty funny, though. She wasn't expecting that from a 12-year-old.)

-One of my students asks for his grade every day. Rain or shine. Even when he just saw his grade online, before he left home. That morning. When nothing could have possibly changed.

Right now, it's a tiresome time for teachers. After the holiday break, we have the push to the standardized tests. The clock is ticking, the kids are feeling it and are squirrely, and the teachers are desperately trying to get it all in.

So, I am glad for the little moments right now... it keeps me from focusing on the bigger picture and going crazy!

(By the way, if anyone is interested in hearing more about anything in particular, feel free to leave it in my comments section, and I'll see if I can accommodate you... Thanks!)

How to Name a Mouse

2008-01-14T14:56:00.000-05:00

Now, I have always had a hard time naming pets. It would take me forever, and it would get changed so many times, I wasn't allowed to tell my mother more than once per day what the newest name was.

When it came time to name the mouse, I had the same problem. I didn't want to name her something dumb, but something fun. Nothing overused, or simple, or snooty. I wanted her name to be perfect!

This wasn't easy, of course. I had the mouse for all of 10 minutes or so when the first student encountered me holding the mouse, and they immediately wanted to know her name. I responded, "Mouse."

Sadly, I was afraid that was as good as it would get.

The kids were just full of suggestions, some of them so hilarious I just have to share... here are all the ones I remember.

Snowpuff (it was almost Christmas and she's white) - I thought it sounded like a rabbit.

Snowball (same as above)

Noelle - since it was a, quoting them, "Christmas miracle mouse"

Chrissy - short for Christmas

Rackety (name of a mouse in a book)

Isabella - still confused on this one

Bob - Bob is my standard example name, so they said it should be Bob even though she's a girl.

Lucky - since I saved her from a snake

Red-eye - because she has them, apparently.

Silver Bell - after the song, I think it was supposed to be.

Miracle - because she was a miracle mouse

Snack - since she was supposed to be a snake-snack

Ms. Language Arts Lady, Jr. - They wanted to name it after me, but just add a junior. Then they tried initials...

Jeff - ?

I then told them I wanted to name her after a book, or a character in a book. They responded with:

Lucy (which was clever, since she's in a book we're reading together)

Bloodhook (apparently a pirate?)

Naruto - a character from a TV show, but I guess that's close to a book

Harry Potter - I am not even kidding. Not even Hermione. Just Harry Potter. Both names.

After a week of being called simply mouse, I tired of it, and knew I had to find a name. However, I really just didn't like any of the names that were suggested. She finally was christened with her name, though, and not from a book, sadly.

Her name is Souris, which is pronounced mostly like "Surrey," but with a French accent.

I suddenly remembered the French classes I had taken throughout high school and college.

It was perfect!

(It means 'mouse' in French)

I knew it was the best I could do.

A Whole New Year!

2008-01-12T15:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it's a brand new year! How exciting.

Well, it should be exciting. And it is, mostly... but also challenging.

I have been very busy recently, and haven't really had a chance to get anything posted, but everything should be calming down soon... hopefully.

Well, a quick update on what's been going on:

The first day back from break, we had a parent conference scheduled. We all thought that this was insane, and that we had a lot of work to do to get ready for a new year, and getting back into the groove, but we all met in the designated place... and the parents never came. It's not like we asked for the conference... they did. The child is getting all As and Bs, and while she could easily have straight As, it's just because she's being way too social. My whole team was irritated (since you have to wait, because if they show up, pretty much no matter how late, you have to meet with them.) They rescheduled the conference (never mentioning the one they just missed) for a few days later, then sent us all emails saying how sorry they were since they had to cancel the meeting. I was thinking to myself, "You're sorry for telling me in advance you're not coming, but you're not sorry for just not showing up?"
One of my students, Trouble, may be going to an alternative school, which hopefully will get him the help he needs and give him the structure he needs.
Another student, Stubborn, is being removed from my class and put into a special language class, since he needs so much low-level help... this might be good for him, but maybe not, since he seems to have bonded with me...
We are now entering the push towards the standardized tests that are coming relatively soon... I feel crazed already. I need to get them to understand informational text, plus cause/effect, comparison/contrast, strong vs. weak argument, and fact vs. opinion, and not forget everything else we've done all year. Help!
The kids came back totally mellow from the break... which is almost unheard of, at least with middle school kids. They must have been extremely busy, and are glad to get back to the slow pace of school...?
The mouse is doing well, and she has grown an amazing amount since I got her... the kids were amazed. She is also fat (thanks mom, for taking such good care of her...) and doesn't like to eat her mouse food, as it's boring. She'll get over that really quickly, though, or starve. The science teacher on my team wants to give her a temporary mouse friend, so we can have mouse babies... but we'll see about that.

I think that's all the major stuff that happened this first week back... hopefully all will remain calm, and the kids will just learn everything just like they're supposed to do...

Well, I can hope, right?

Class Pet

2007-12-30T16:39:00.000-05:00

Right before the break, my classroom got a new pet.

I think this is a sign that I am completely insane, but just haven't realized it yet.

The science teacher on my team has a great many animals in his room... turtles, mice, scorpions, snakes, a tarantula, plus many others that are mounted and preserved. The kids love his class, since he is such an awesome teacher, plus there is always something interesting to look at while they're in his class.

Well, somehow or other, I decided I wanted a classroom pet. I figured it would be fun, and could be used as a reward for the children, teach responsibility, and so forth, and since there is nothing more helpful than a 6th grader, I wouldn't have to worry about feeding, cleaning, or really doing anything other than playing with the pet.

My first thought was a cat. I love cats, but can't have one at home, so I figured, hey, this would work!

It wouldn't work, though, because of allergies.

So then I decided that a hamster would be nice. But I had never really given it serious thought, just a sort of idle speculation on how much fun it would be to have something.

Then I noticed the science teacher never really had to clean his own cages... his students fought over the chance to do it.

Then I was chatting with him about what would become of his mice, since he was talking about how he had a female mouse who was pregnant, and he said he keep one or two as classroom pets, and the rest would become snake food. He said he never would feed pet mice to the snakes, but he would make sure no one got attached to most of the mice, which would be helped by having some mice they were allowed to make into a pet.

I said that was a great idea, and wanted a baby mouse when she had some.

He told me I could have first pick, and I set about getting ready for a baby mouse.

Since mice have a pretty short gestation period, I knew I would need a home for my new baby mouse pretty quickly. I received a free, used (and pretty dirty, ew) wire cage, and got some students to clean it up. It was ready for my new mouse.

But no babies.

And no babies.

Still no babies.

I originally decided I wanted one right after school started. But nothing was happening on the baby-mouse front. The science teacher was perplexed, and decided eventually there was something wrong with either the male or the female. He planned to put a new mouse in the cage and see what happened.

Meanwhile, I have a cage sitting in my classroom, taking up space. Every single day, some student would ask me if I had the mouse yet. Every day. This was enough to drive even the sanest of people insane.

I eventually just started answering, "Yes, I did get the mouse. Can't you see it? There in the bottom?"

This caused all students to stare at the cage, desperately trying to see the mouse.

I just shake my head.

On the Wednesday right before school got out for the holiday break, we had a parent conference which ended a little early (A MIRACLE! They almost never end early. They usually end after the bell has rung and the children are screaming the hallways, pounding on the doors to be let in.) The science teacher had to feed his snakes, quickly, since he didn't want to be doing with all the kids in the room, as they get all wound up, and since it was almost break time, they already are all wound up.

So he brought out his cage full of 20 or so mice, and his student helpers (7th graders that we had last year) come to help with the feeding. I said, "Can I have one of these?" and he said, "Sure. Just pick it out, quickly, so we can get feeding."

It's almost hard to pick just one mouse out of a bunch, knowing I'm saving one, and the rest will be eaten.

They were all identical white mice, though, so I grabbed the smallest and picked it.

Another mouse was saved, a male, to be put in the breeding cage.

So I had my mouse! She was a tiny thing (I say she, because I decided she was female, but I have a sneaking suspicion now she's male, and will show her to the science teacher when I get back to confirm...) and I had to now get her set up in her new home.

The bell was going to be ringing in less than 10 minutes.

I had no bedding, or food, or anything but a cage.

She really was adorable, though, and didn't bite me, not even once. (She still has only bitten one person, my co-teacher, and she has bitten him twice. I think his hands must have had something on them...)

Then the bell rings. I still have nothing for the mouse, but I couldn't do anything about it now.

I go and stand at my door, like I'm supposed to do, with my mouse.

Several students do not notice the mouse, since she is tiny.

Once they did, however, kids everywhere yelling about the mouse. I let everyone look but not touch. She is just a baby, after all, and hasn't really ever been held. (She was less than a month old, apparently).

The science teacher across from me offered me an aquarium for the mouse to live in, but I said I had a cage, but would let her know if I needed it.

Well, long story short, I put her in a coffee canister that had been holding rulers, which worked for awhile during my first class... until she discovered she could jump.

Then I had her moved to a box that paper had come in... until she discovered it had a slit in the side she could climb.

I put the lid to block her, but she eventually discovered the other side, which had an identical slit, which I discovered as she was running across my classroom floor.

By this time I had bedding from the science teacher, and I put some in the cage I had. She was so tiny at the bottom, and the wire openings look a little large to me... so using a bit of cookie, I lured her over to the side, where the wire had the largest opening, and she just went out, like it was a door.

Oops... my cage wasn't going to work.

I got the aquarium, put food and bedding in for her, and a wheel I scavenged from the wire cage.

Now, each new class that came in swarmed the new cage, since it was in the front of the room, and since they had heard I had finally gotten a new pet.

They didn't realize that I would be at the door, holding the mouse, as the searched the cage, looking for her.

I would tell them, "Well, look really hard. She's really small."

I really am a mean person sometimes.

I can't wait to get back to school and get the mouse all settled in, and see how it goes...

I will have to get a picture of her and post it, so you can see how cute she is... but she has already grown quite a bit. I can tell you about the naming drama. (Ms. Language Arts Lady, let's call her HAROLD! Plus all the other crazy things they wanted. It was pretty funny).

Right now, she's staying with my parents, since I can't have pets where I live (let me tell you, my parents are thrilled. They were happy to have had their last rodent a long time ago, back when I myself was in middle school, or thereabouts.)

So we'll have to see how that all turns out. My mother is spoiling her. She claims the mouse doesn't like the food I bought for her, so she gives her cookies, cheese, apples, pretzels.

Mostly cheese, though.

The mouse is going to hate going back to school, since I will feed her the stuff she doesn't like, and maybe cheese once in a blue moon.

Oh, well. The children will sympathize.

Holiday Presents... Plus Updates on Stubborn and Trouble

2007-12-24T09:30:00.000-05:00

When it's almost time for the holiday break, I start thinking of things that I could get for my students as a little gift, just a little something so they know that I care.

For an elementary teacher, it is slightly easier, I feel, since they have younger students who are happier with less expensive things, plus there are far fewer of them. Their class sizes go from about 14-25 generally, though of course there are classes that have a lot more. So it's easier to spend $1 on each student, or even up to about $3, perhaps.

I have somewhere between 100-150 students. Spending $1 each is crazy, and something I just cannot afford.

So I wrestle with wanting to get them something, and the practicality of it.

My first year, I bought each of the kids a candy cane and a pencil that had red or green glitter all over it, and tied them together with pretty ribbons, and curled the ribbon. Very cute, and it was something they could enjoy, since every single middle school student loses their pencil. (Sometimes, twice a day).

This caused a little heartache directly after the holidays, since the students were thrilled with the glittery pencils (they were really cute) and since they were all identical, it was hard to know which pencil belonged with which kid. So there was top of their voice yelling matches about pencil thieving.

So, after that craziness, I might have learned my lesson, and chosen something different for the next year. But of course, I didn't. I did the same thing, but could only find some of the red or green glitter pencils, so I had to substitute them with red AND green glitter pencils.

The children, every single one of them, decide immediately upon seeing the pencils, which one they MUST HAVE OR DIE.

And they fight over which one they actually get. I am a strong proponent of you'll like what you get and be grateful for it, but you are allowed to trade if it is quiet and fair and everyone is happy at the end. 6th graders, full of sugar, looking forward to their holiday plans, are seldom quiet.

So that was fun.

This year I decided something new was in order, so I found some cute gift bags that were 30 for $1, then found mechanical pencils that were relatively cheap, (you can buy them in bulk and save quite a bit, I've found), and then got a big bag of Starbursts, Dum-Dum lollipops, and holiday mints.

So, I then packaged all them in the little baggies, using my best friend as cheap (okay, free) labor to tie the bags neatly.

It was quite a long task, let me tell you, and I think if I had not been watching television while I was doing it, I would have gone mad.

The nice thing, though, was the kids really seemed to appreciate them.

And I found out that a large bag of Dum-Dum pops contains 300 lollipops. So next time I need a lot of candy for a low price, I know where to go. No wonder Halloween candy is almost always about 40% of the little things... they're cheap!

After I gave out my gifts, the students gave me mine at the end of the week. My first year teaching, I got so much stuff, it was insane. Gift cards, candy, coffee, jewelry (mostly made by my students, but hey, it was mostly pretty), and candles. I was overwhelmed, and very thankful. The parents mostly included notes that told me how much they appreciated me. I was thrilled to know I was making a difference, plus I got some nice stuff!

Last year I didn't get very much at all. Maybe 5 gifts total, but last year was a really rough year with really rough kids. (The 7th grade teachers this year are now dealing with the same stuff as we did last year...)

This year I got a nice amount of lovely things. Cookies, candy, gift cards...

I think the favorite thing I got was a huge tray of cookies that my student had made and decorated. Sugar cookies, gingerbread men, very traditional. Very cute. And very, very good.

Now, moving on to some of my students I have written about before...

Trouble is really in trouble now... he was in and out of school right before the break, since he was constantly getting referrals and then getting sent home as his consequence. Well, now, instead of this continuing all the rest of this year, then next year, until he eventually drove us all mad, they are sending him to one of the alternative schools in our area. This will help him catch up with what he has missed, since he is really low, plus give him a very strict structure, so he can't get into too much trouble. The hope is, scare him now, and he'll be fine for the rest of school. I really do hope it works for him. He's so young to be behaving this way.

Stubborn is still stubborn, of course. He had been doing much better recently (at least in my class!) and had been doing some of his work.

The day I was giving out the bags to the students, he had a bad day. We were taking down notes from a PowerPoint slideshow I had created to teach Main Idea/Supporting Detail (tons of fun, let me tell you!) and he was mostly working on the notes. I did notice him messing around with his pen, though, and I was keeping an eye on him, because it's best to stop him early on in his distraction and get him right back on track.

I notice his pen doubled as a flashlight and laser pointer.

I hate laser pointers. They cause lots of problems.

So, I watched him shine the laser light into his eye instead of doing the notes. So I ask him to bring me the pen. He quickly tries to get his hands on a different pen, but I was too smart for him.

"Bring me the one in your hand now," I tell him.

He does, and I try it for myself. I tell him he doesn't need it, and he tells me he doesn't use the light or the pointer. I said, good, because then you really don't need it.

"But I need it to WRITE!" he informs me.

So I pop the top off (which has the light and pointer) and give him the bottom, pen part.

Then he shows me his paper, and tells me the pen doesn't really work (which it had been, but just had run out of ink). I said, great! Now you can borrow a pencil from me, and I gave him one of mine. He sat down and sulked. I threw the pen away. This made him really, really mad.

I found a pen I didn't need, and gave it to him, since he apparently needed a pen. He immediately knocked it to the floor.

This irritated me immensely.

"Pick it up, now!" I told him, and other things adding up to how dare you be so rude, etc, etc.

He just sat there, echoing his name.

I told him unless he picked it up right now, I was calling for the administrator to come and get him out of my classroom.

He sat there for a few more seconds, then picked it up.

I then ignored him, since I didn't want to antagonize him, but I also didn't want to acknowledge him while he was behaving so poorly.

When it was time to leave, I was giving the bags out, and he brought me back my pencil. I said he could keep it, if he didn't have another one. When I tried to hand him the bag, he said, "No thank you, I don't deserve it."

How sweet was that!

"You're right, you don't, at least not today, but I want you to have it anyway. And thank you for knowing that your behavior was not okay."

Anyway. A very stressful time, survived.

I am so glad for the break.

Now, it's time to get all their stuff graded that I have been avoiding.

Oh, joy

Please, No More Sugar

2007-12-12T20:10:00.000-05:00

The kids were feisty today. I had to assign two of them to a lunch detention. I personally hate lunch detentions, because it means that I have to give up my kid-free lunch to do it. My team eats together every day, and when we have kids we have to meet in a different room, which isn't as comfortable.

But today, we had 4 kids total serving detention. The kids really are finished for the year. They don't care about grammar, they don't care about the story we're reading, they don't care about anything... not even the candy I was trying to use to bribe them. They just want to talk to their friends and eat things they're not supposed to be eating in school (which I would give them to eat, if they'd just do what they were supposed to be doing).

One of the kids that I had serving today was a girl who is constantly late to my class. She has lost privileges, she has written essays, she has had a "lunch delay," which means she gets to sit with me for 5 minutes of her lunch, but it just doesn't sink in. I warned her the last time that she was tardy she'd owe me a detention next time, but apparently she thought I wasn't serious.

The funniest part is most mornings since I warned her, I would see her in the hallway dawdling with her friends by the water fountain, and I would call down the hallway to her and tell her to get a move on. But this morning I just watched her mosey to my door. She came and almost went in, but then the call of her friends were just too much, and she headed back to the water fountain, where she was standing when the bell rang. I told her to sign in, and that I'd be seeing her today for a lunch detention.

"WHAT?!" she shrieked. I reminded her we don't yell indoors, and not to "what" me. (I sound like my mother when I say that, and I hate it, but I hate it more when a kid says, "what?" when I call their name. No wonder it drove my mother insane.)

I told her that I had been watching her messing around in the hallway, and that I just knew she was going to be late.

"Why didn't you tell me then?!" she asks.

"Because I shouldn't have to tell you. It's not my job to tell you every morning that you need to be in class. The bell does that. I just observe whether or not you are, in fact, here on time."

"But you have for weeks been telling me!"

"You're right, but you're a big girl now, and you know what a bell means. When the bell rings, you know you have five whole minutes to get to class. Now, stop arguing, and sit down. I'll be expecting you at lunch today."

She grumbled, but she's not a bad kid, just one to push to see where the boundaries are.

My other kid who had to serve today was a boy who is a little mouthy sometimes, and this gets him in trouble pretty consistently. Today the kids were talking while they were taking a test, and I was not amused by this. I had to correct them a couple of times, then got tired of that and told the ones talking to bring me their planner so I could record their misbehavior (something we do on my team, which is a good deterrent usually for misbehavior).

He yelled back at the top of his voice, "I don't have my planner today, so I guess you can't have it!"

This irritated me.

The kids are all required to have their planners every single day. If they don't, they're not allowed to use the bathroom, go anywhere for any reason, and many other things. Since it's their homework tracker, they're supposed to have it to record what they have to do that evening. So for him not to have it, that's strike one. Then for him to yell during a test that he left it at home, so I couldn't record this negative behavior?

Not a good choice. I told him he had a lunch detention, and instantly, the other kids were all very studiously doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

He also argued, but I didn't even engage... just told him that unless he'd like to escalate it to an after school detention, he would do what he has supposed to have been doing this whole time.

Mercifully, he gave in. He can be a real problem, as he loves to argue, and is a little ham who sees how the kids are watching him, so he can't back down. Today, the kids were all ignoring him, since they have finally started to notice that he drags them down with him when he's mouthing off and gets them involved.

When it was time for their lunch detention, the boy showed up right on time, took his place on the floor, and didn't make a sound the entire time. Good job, boy.

The girl? She didn't show up. And she didn't show up. And she wasn't there.

Finally, she shows up, 10 minutes after lunch starts. This may not sound like much, but lunch is 23 minutes long. She missed 1/2 of her entire lunch detention.

I told her that she has just earned herself a lunch delay tomorrow, and have a seat on the floor.

Why are they so feisty?!

I long for the time after the holidays. Yes, it's a stressful time because of the standardized testing that is coming, but I love the kids so much more when I come back. It's my favorite time of the year... I am fresh off of a break, but I know the kids now. Starting school is stressful, since you've got to teach the children who you are and what's expected. Coming back from a break just takes a little reminder.

I need this break, and I think they need it from me.

Plus, it's just enough time to miss them and want to come back.

Thank goodness the holidays are almost here!

Worth 1,000 Words...

2007-12-10T14:48:00.000-05:00

Some of the things I write about are activities we've done, what the children said, how they reacted, etc. Sometimes I am able to describe things pretty well with words, but sometimes it would be better to have a single picture.

I have debated about posting pictures, since I don't want to have anything that is identifiable on the Internet... but still wanted to share some of what makes my kids so awesome... I have picked some things that I feel I can share without causing problems. So...

Here's some pictures of things I have mentioned before. Hope you enjoy!

This is the tree I have told you about. Isn't it cute?

Here's a close up of the star. It stays on the tree now, but it can't be lit, since the cord is way too short. Since it was too heavy for the little tree, I had to use 4 pipe cleaners to get it to stay.

Here's a closer look at the bald patches... this is a huge stripe down the middle. Apparently, you just can't trust 12-year-olds when it comes to decorating. (the tree has a matching stripe in the back).

Remember the projects I had the kids start just before Thanksgiving? This is one from a couple of years ago.

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this, but this is a great activity that I have the kids do with new vocabulary words... it's called a mnemonic. They draw a picture that demonstrates the meaning of the word, but has to incorporate the word as the picture. (It takes them a bit of time to understand me, but then they love it). This one is the word intricate.

Here's another one... incognito.

This is a sign I have on my cabinet... I ask them to get stuff out of it for me (or if they need scissors or something) and it's called the "Listen and Silent" cabinet. I don't even want to know how many times I've said that.

I have had something called the "Wall of Shame" for the past couple of years... the kids find errors in the printed world, like grammar, spelling, and they bring it in, and we post it, with their name on it, the finding date. They then get extra credit. They find tons of stuff. Our textbooks, popular novels, the newspaper, local advertising, and even greeting cards have been put on the wall this year. (I remember a teacher when I was in school doing this same thing... it's such a good idea, as it teaches the children to be analytical readers.

This is a close up of one of the items on the wall of shame. Pretty amazing, right? I can't believe it was sold this way. (It's a teacher Valentine's card!)

Well, that concludes our little tour for today... I will perhaps be posting other pictures periodically of things the children have done, made, or maybe some of the posters in my room... exciting things like that.

The Holidays

2007-12-05T16:18:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've posted, but the holidays are always a hectic time, and it's never less true than in the classroom.

The kids get infected with a restless spirit, which causes them to go a little insane. Just a little. They forget rules. They hit other kids. They throw things. They talk back. They spit sunflower seeds on my classroom floor (one of my students cleaned my entire classroom after that one...).

I don't usually write referrals. I think I've mentioned that before. It's not that I don't believe in them, because I do, but I generally take care of the behavior before it gets that far.

But this week alone, I wrote two. And I was out one day this week! And it's only Wednesday! One was for an 8th grader who ignored me when I told him to go back out of the hallway (because it's a 6th grade only hallway, and he was cutting through.) When he didn't, I told him if he didn't, I would have to write him up... I had to follow him to the front office to get his name.

Then, one of my students had a toy taken from him earlier this 9 weeks (incidentally, it was Trouble...). I told him he couldn't have it back until he earned it. So yesterday, he went to the sub that I had and lied to her, saying I had told him to come and pick it up, and then he went through my desk until he found it. I do not like children in my desk. And the fact he deliberately lied to the sub also made me unhappy. He's done it before, so this was the last straw.

Still, I want to focus on the happier aspects of the holidays.

Today in my critical thinking class, we talked about Hanukkah, and what it meant. It was really funny what the kids thought they knew about it, like the kids who celebrate Hanukkah get a full Christmas every day of Hanukkah. Like, as many presents as they get for Christmas, but every night. I was like... not really, dears. I compared it to them getting stockings... they get stocking-type presents each night, then the final night is something more substantial.

So that was fun, as the kids were getting all excited about learning about different cultures. Before I explained that they didn't get 8 Christmases, several wanted to "convert," but they called it "change over." They wanted to know who to talk to in order to change.

I have some decorations in my room... nothing that is not allowed, of course. My county has strict rules about what is okay and what's not okay, and I am careful to follow them... (I did get in trouble with the fire department last year during inspections, because I had hung Christmas lights from the ceiling and it wasn't Christmas...). I have Candy Canes cutouts all over the place, hung by magnets I cut up and taped to the back of the paper. I have a bear with a Santa hat on that says something like best teacher. I have some various other winter-y type things.

But my favorite thing? It has to be my Christmas tree.

I love the little thing. It's so cute. I have had a small tree in the past, like 1' tall, with tiny decorations.

But this year while I was at Walgreen's to get something I really needed, I spotted the trees on display. They were on sale... well, you could get a rebate, anyway.

They were pre-lit. They had many sizes, even. From about 1.5' to 6', and some had white lights, and some had multi-colored lights.

There were also those truly ghastly pink or white foil ones, but honestly, does anyone like those?

So my tree is 4.5' tall. It's covered in lights, and it is adorable. It's a little like the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas, because it looks a little raggedy (apparently, balancing the branches on artificial trees takes skill; I've always had real trees at home). I bought some small little glass balls for it at the dollar spot at Target, and put them on with red and green pipe cleaners, so they wouldn't fall off onto the tile and shatter.

It was transformed! It looked like a REAL tree. Sort of.

I also told the kids to bring stuff in, since it still looked sad... One little girl brought me two tiny ornaments. She added those.

Another child brought a pack of drum ornaments from the dollar store, and a tree topper (which was too heavy by FAR for my little tree, causing it to bend in 1/2, making it even more like the Charlie Brown one... I fixed that by using another bunch of pipe cleaners and securing it to the top... it now is quite... sturdy...) One little disco ball was added recently.

And today, a girl brought a packet of tinsel. I told her that was a wonderful idea for the tree, and asked if she wanted to put it on (I let the kids put the ornaments they brought in on the tree themselves, which made them very happy, and me too, since I didn't have to drop everything to do it, because if I didn't drop everything to add it right then, they'd be very sad...)

She wanted to do it, so she did.

And may I say... she has an eye for... creative expression...?

She put it on like a 4-year-old does: by grabbing ball-shaped handfuls, then putting it on top of the branches. She almost used the entire package for my tiny little tree (I use only one packet at home for my 8' real tree, and it looks completely silvered.)

It was, and still is, hilarious. I sat and watched her decorate, and I laughed and laughed. Every few minutes, she would look at me suspiciously, but go back to decorating.

She finally finished, and had tinsel in her hair, hanging off her arms, her rear end, her shirt, and some in her socks. I told her, very solemnly, that she did a WONDERFUL job, and I loved it.

Honestly, I did love it, since I know she brought it just for me, since she knew I wanted more stuff for the tree, and my kids all know I love sparkly things, and color. I know she did her best, and she worked so hard to do it.

I was proud of her, but still, it was hilarious.

I nearly lost it when the next class came in, and one of my students said, "Ms. Language Arts Lady, what happened to the tree? It looks TERRIBLE! It has clumps...! And...!" She almost couldn't find the words to tell me about how it was wrong.

Then, suspiciously, she asked, "Did YOU do that?" I kept laughing, almost not able to answer. When I had assured her it wasn't me, she seemed satisfied, but begged to fix it. I said it was fine, but don't make a mess.

As I walked the kids to the bus this afternoon, I saw tinsel all the way to the bus stop. The stuff is insidious. It got everywhere.

And the entire trip to the bus, I laughed.

The kids must have thought I was nuts.

But I'm not... I'm just loving the holidays.

Test Anxiety?

2007-11-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

As a teacher, I understand the importance of tests in school. I really, really do. We need the children to be able to show us what they know, since in life, it doesn't really matter what your potential is to your boss... he just cares if you can produce.

And I also get the whole idea of alternative forms of assessment, since I know students sometimes do have issues with the actual testing part, so if you can observe them to give them their grade, it works for those students.

But sometimes, you simply must just give a regular, pencil-and-paper test.

AND I HATE IT.

Not only do the children whine like I have taken all hope, fun, and candy out of the universe, after they do the test, I get, as a reward for being a good teacher who is preparing her students for their whole lives, a huge stack of tests that I get to grade.

Giving a test is an immediate night, or weekend, killer for me. Even if I feverishly work on it as soon as I get home, I usually cannot finish it in only one night. The best part about teaching language arts is that the children all write lots of things on their test, which I have to read and fix, and sometimes translate into English, since it's in some insane-looking children-babble.

So the very next day, the kids all pounce on me and want to know what they got on the test. My response is usually something along the lines of, "I don't know! And even if I did grade your test, do you honestly think that I remember your grade? Unless you usually fail and you did really well, or you usually fail but did well, I don't tend to even look at the names as I grade, so stop bothering me!"

Of course, it depends on how grouchy I was before they came at me. If I am in a cheerful mood, and I didn't stay up late to work on the dumb tests, I respond with, "Do you really think I remember just your test?" or, "You got an F!" (This is my typical answer if the kids ever ask what their grade is.

So right before the Thanksgiving break, I very naively gave the students a large essay test, summing up the first portion of the novel we're currently reading in literature circles, so that I could grade them over my break. I must have forgotten that it is almost impossible to do work during a break, especially one that contains a holiday, since I am required to appear at family events, and assist there.

The test took them the entire block, which usually doesn't happen with my tests. Most students, when they finally turned in the test, handed me 3 pages painstakingly written, and then badly stapled. (Why is it, incidentally, that kids cannot use a stapler properly? They just shove it under the stapler and smash, not caring if the papers are lined up, facing the right way, or whatever. It really irritates me, since it means their papers won't stack nicely, but have bits sticking out all over...)

I now have a HUGE stack of essays to read, worry over, and grade.

I'm sorry, but I get really involved in the children's tests. I know I shouldn't get that involved, but I do. Many teachers have told me, some of them repeatedly, how you cannot fix every error in the children's stuff, and I know it's true, but if you don't show them how it's wrong, how will they learn? I don't fix every single error, but the glaring ones need attention. It really hurts when a kid I am worried about does badly (like my little darling girl, who I will call Heartbreaker, since her situation breaks my heart, as she's going through more than a kid should have to, plus she is sweet), and I wonder if it's because of something I did.

Also, like a fool, I had a project due that same week, so I also have those I'm supposed to be grading. Grrrr.

So, during my break, in a fit of energy, I started to grade the lovely essays. I then remember I do not have the questions with me, so I am not quite sure of the wording of the questions. Drat.

I finally get the questions and sit down at my dining room table to grade the papers. The very first one I start grading as this as the first answer:

"Well, the children's attitude was not good, but it wasn't bad either."

I stopped right there, and went back to preparing for the holiday.

I gave another test this week, so I now have a project, a essay test, and a spelling/vocabulary test to grade. Thankfully, I graded the tests today as they turned them in, so I am going to be able to get those out to them quickly, and just start slogging through the other ones.

I know many teachers who have given up giving any tests they are not multiple choice or true-false, since they're so much work. I see what they mean, but still can't bring myself to do it. I do have some tests that are multiple choice, but they need practice writing, and thinking, and taking those thoughts and putting them into a brief paragraph.

I think test anxiety not only affects the children, but also the teacher. Just mention to any teacher having an essay test, and then tell them they will be grading it, and there will be the anxiety.

Well, at least the kids seem to be doing well on the vocabulary test. Thank goodness for small favors!

Brief Thoughts on Thankfulness...

2007-11-20T13:29:00.001-05:00

As the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, I'd like to think of things to be thankful for.

It's easy to do sometimes; other times, not as much.

My students have already been forced to think about what they're thankful for. They had an assignment in one of their classes in these weeks leading up to the holiday where they had to write a thank you note to a teacher for something they appreciate. I received a few cards, a few notes, and one extremely large poster.

It really is lovely to receive a thank you from a student, since you never really know how much is getting through. One of my favorite students from last year (I know, I know, you can't have favorites... but she was. She almost needed to be a favorite of mine, because none of the other teachers really cared for her at all, since she was a very difficult kid, but since she reminded me of myself, we got along very well...) gave me a card that told me that she can't look at the world in the same way anymore. This is thrilling! I have changed her whole viewpoint!

She was talking about something I do with the kids where they are told to find errors in the world of print (books, magazines, web pages, advertisements, etc) and make a copy and bring it in. If it is indeed an error, and no one else has found the same one, they get extra credit, plus they get to put their name on it and staple it to the 'wall of shame.' She was the best at finding errors last year, and she apparently can't stop finding them.

Ah, it just warms the heart. Especially as a language arts teacher.

The other notes were lovely, too, even the one who didn't put their name on it (echoing how they turn in their papers.)

So... here is a very short list of what I'm thankful for.

A student begging to do an activity (like the music journals or Sparkle)
A kid who tells me they found our vocabulary word in the real world, and is amazed, because they thought I made it up.
Being able to work with 6th graders still. ( I am always afraid I'll get switched to a different grade.)
Meeting a parent who says they have heard about me, and mostly in a good way.

There is so many more things I could put, but honestly, I'm pleased to be doing what I do with the kids I have.

Hooray for 6th graders!

It Breaks My Heart

2007-11-12T15:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, stories that I hear about my students (or from my students) completely breaks my heart.

Things I'm not sure that I could deal with, stuff that would break most adults, stuff of my worst nightmares, and these kids just have to deal with it. Since they're so very young, they can't run away, they can't break off hurtful relationships, they can't do much of anything.

It really, really breaks my heart.

Some of my students this year are products of families so messed up, they would be too messed up for those daytime TV shows.

I've had sad cases before in previous years. A kid who was slowly going crazy, and was eventually diagnosed with a mental disorder (one that, fortunately, was helped by medication). A kid whose parents were fighting over him, so much so that we had to watch him wherever he was, so the other parent wouldn't kidnap him. A girl who was being abused and removed from her home, but returned to her parents numerous times before finally having the move be permanent. And others I can't think of right now.

But this year seems to have more than the fair share of kids who have big issues in their lives.

We had a parent conference recently, and I could hardly sit and listen to the parent telling us what's going on in the family. It was just awful, and my poor student has to deal with it; has no other option.

It's almost too much sometimes for me to bear. I want to take these kids home; raise them as my own. I'd quickly have dozens of children hanging around my house, and want to bring home more.

I love my job, and I love how I can sometimes be the bright spot in an otherwise dark young life, but it hurts to be able to do so little for these kids. I don't have money enough to make a huge difference for them. I don't have the authority to stop their parents from taking out their messed up lives on their innocent children.

All I can do is listen when they talk, and try to show them that they are loved; that the whole world isn't like what they're dealing with right now.

But it seems like so little; not much help for them. And it's just so hard.

6th Graders are Adorable

2007-11-05T11:15:00.000-05:00

Kids are cute. It's almost a proven fact. People make lots of money selling books that contain what they say, and they also include pictures of the cute things they do.

Sometimes, kids try to be cute, and fail miserably. Things they think are cute tend to be very not cute. It's the things they say without thinking, the things that show you that they have incomplete information but still use it to form opinions, ideas, and even facts that are the cute ones.

(Of course, some things are annoying. Like when you have just done something you wished you hadn't, and they ask you why, or what you're doing. Or when, in all innocence, they ask if you're okay, because you "have a rash on your face" when you're just having a poor skin week.)

But still... they are very, very cute.

Here are some of my favorite things I have heard recently.

One of my students was telling me all about a book he was reading, which had an archipelago that contains dragons. He pronounced it: Arc uh pull AHHHH gooo. He said it so seriously, I almost laughed at him, but instead managed to hold myself together enough to answer him, then correct his pronunciation. (But him saying "goo" at the end almost killed me.)
One of my students saw me in the grocery store, and she asked me, "You shop at the grocery store?" as if it was the craziest thing she'd ever heard of. I asked her how she thought I got food to eat, and she said she always thought the school fed us.
One whole group of kids (when asking why they couldn't have their tests back) were horrified when I told them I didn't have a chance to grade them over the weekend, since I had a birthday party to go to, then I went to an amusement park. They said things like, "YOU go to PARTIES?" and " But what do you do there?" as if I am too old to enjoy an amusement park.
One of the cutest things (and embarrassing for the kids) that they do is call me Mommy, or Mom, or their version of the word. They are so embarrassed about it, and I can't blame them. I just say, "Yes, dear?" and ignore it, or say, "I'm Ms. Language Arts Lady, remember?" to try to keep them from complete embarrassment.
Some of my little angels are starting to become little vandals, starting the trend they continue throughout school. Writing on their desks, the bathroom stalls, etc, it drives teachers (and janitors) crazy. The best part about most 6th grade vandals is that (and this is the cute part) they are simply too foolish not to put their name on their artwork. My student, Trouble (you may remember him) drew all over one of my desks, then proudly signed his name. He then had the nerve to ask how I knew it was him. He just stood there blinking, holding the wipes he was going to use to clean my desks, and was stunned to realize I had read his work. It was hilarious.
Kids arguing about politics. They sounded like they knew what they were talking about, but then they'd say something just slightly off... but they were quite impassioned.
When they don't want to close their book when we're reading a story and it's at a good part when we need to stop.
Playing the spelling game "Sparkle." It's hilarious to watch, and now that we've played it, it's hilarious to hear them beg to play it again. You essentially just all spell out a word out loud, but each kid says only one letter then the word 'sparkle.' It's so cute to hear them starting to confuse themselves with the word sparkle, and it starts to be speckle, Spackle, sprinkle, and so on. SO cute.

Anyway. Kids are really cute. I know there are some things I'm not remembering, but I'll have to write those later. I just can't think...

Hooray for the cute kids!

Watchful Waiting

2007-11-04T13:35:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm in a state of watchful anticipation... waiting for the storm, waiting for the bad news, waiting for something, and not anything good.

The reason? Report cards went home last week. So what does this mean for teachers?

Parents who didn't do anything at the halfway point, when their kid came home with an F on their progress report, are going to start yelling and demanding my head.

It gets really, really old.

The first time it happened, my first year of teaching, it really scared me. Of course, I had been already subjected to this type of thing my first month of teaching, so it wasn't completely unexpected, but still shocking.

The second time it happened, I felt suspicious. Now I just feel sad.

No matter how many tests I send home to get signed and then get back, indicated their child got 10/175, or got a 23%, they don't connect that with the fact their child is not doing everything perfectly, because their child doesn't tell them, and they don't ask.

So now I'm just waiting for someone to not be happy, and call or email me, and tell me I am terrible person.

I really did used to be very concerned, and willing to work with the parents who contact me when they're upset about how their child did. But I can't just care automatically anymore, because I have been screamed at, cursed out, told that I was stupid, threatened, and informed that I would be fired come the following week. So I wait, and see what their attitude is before I let down my guard with the parents.

It's a real shame. It makes me sad. But it also does make me mad.

On a much happier note, my students this year are awesome. I love them! I mentioned that I don't get to go trick-or-treating (because of my advanced age, which they sympathised with, since they (on their own, since I won't tell them the truth) have decided that I am 35, and that's apparently ancient to them...) so they could bring me candy they don't want.

They brought me TONS. It was amazing, and such a sign of their giving hearts and sweet natures.

It made me happy this week. I love my students. And not just because they give me stuff, honestly, but because they are such wonderful little people who I am blessed to be able to work with.

I love them!

Now if only their parents can remain calm when inquiring about their child's grades...

The Joy of Halloween

2007-10-31T19:28:00.000-04:00

Well, I survived another Halloween, but still have yet to survive the week following Halloween, when the kids come to school sugared up beyond all sense, and fights over the candy that they brought to school (even knowing they're not supposed to bring it) abound.

Ah... the joys of Halloween!

I did have fun with them today, though. Since I knew they'd be all crazy, just because they were anticipating tonight, I decided to take a break from the normal classroom activities and share with them my favorite Edgar Allan Poe story, "The Black Cat."

This freaked them out, as I had intended.

If you've never read the story, it's about a man who loved animals and had a black cat he especially loved. He became an alcoholic, however, and he began being mean to his animals and his wife. In a drunken rage, he put the cat's eye out with a knife. He felt mildly guilty about harming the cat, but continued declining, eventually hanging the cat from a tree to kill him.

He then wanted another cat, since he missed the one he killed. He found one that looked almost exactly the same, but with a white spot on his chest.

He brought it home, and thought he'd love it, but he began to hate it, even as his now-abused-by-him wife loved it. The white spot also began to change into the shape of a gallows (I had to pause to explain many parts of the story to the kids, but they didn't know what a gallows was, until one remembered they had one in Pirates of the Caribbean 2).

So now he really hates the cat. He was going down the stairs to his cellar one day, and his wife was following, when the cat tripped him, making him furious. He seized and axe and attempted to strike the cat, but his wife stopped him. In his rage at being stopped, he turned the axe on his wife, killing her.

He then decides to dispose of the body (after several options are discarded) by bricking it up in the cellar. When the police investigate, the man is so confident, he shows them around, and when they're trying to leave, he tells them about how strong the building is, and raps on the wall in which he put his wife's body... well, he accidentally put the cat in with her, so the cat makes an eerie cry, and the man is caught.

Very Halloween-y.

I love watching their faces as they struggle to understand the almost archaic text, since they know it's creepy, and they know they should be scared, but sometimes the wording gets a little too tricky... Then when they go from not understanding to dawning comprehension, then revulsion... so priceless.

And everyone should read a classic author like Poe, right?

I worried vaguely about this being too creepy for them, but then I remember what they watch. I remember it's a classic. And I remember what they told me last year (and honestly, what I remember from my time in school) that they read Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart" in the third grade. So I know they'll be fine. (I remember from my own 3rd grade year, and how the teacher read it, while a tape with a beating heart pounded in the background... it scared the mud out of me).

So we had fun. Plus, one of my kids was super-sweet, though, and brought me a caramel apple he'd made just for me. I was like... oohhhhhh! So sweet! I haven't eaten it yet, because I keep forgetting it's there, but I'm sure it's tasty.

Oh, and by the way... why do the students complain about having to come to school on Halloween? They actually ask me why they have to be at school... when I'm confused, they explain, "Well, it's a holiday, right?"

Heaven help us.

When Grades Are Due...

2007-10-25T17:44:00.000-04:00

I hate the week grades are due. It's always a crazy week; for some strange reason, everything that the school needs to get done or needs you to get done happens during that week. Scoliosis screening. Vision screening. Field trips for random clubs, groups, etc. Trainings for peer mediation. Trainings for SAFE Ambassadors. Half the stuff that's going on makes no sense to me... someone calls on my phone, and asks for a specific student. That student leaves, and comes back seemingly hours later, of course missing the entire lesson or the entire test. No one ever wants my kids when we're doing fluffy stuff, or review. Just new stuff or tests.

Plus, the kids go a little stir-crazy, maybe knowing grades are coming, but most likely just because the teachers are a little distracted, and therefore unable to totally focus, causing chaos.

I wanted my grades done a little early this time, so I worked hard last week to get all my grades into the computer, and all set to go. And it worked! Mostly. I still had to adjust some grades, and I still had to add a few more assignments here and there, and I still had to physically hit the little button in the grade program so it will port the grades over into the right spaces, but still... I got to leave almost on time today, which is a low-level miracle.

So while the kids were with me today, I attempted to give them assignments that would enable the kids to work alone, with just minor assistance from me, so that I could do the last little bit of my grade stuff. It's a great thing, watching them work all on their own, doing what they need to do. They got into their groups, got started on their work, and it worked beautifully. To start with.

But, alas, this did not work for long. They still had to ask 1,000,001 questions, mostly ridiculous questions, of the type that is really annoying when you're busy and almost humorous when you're not.

Oh, well. I did it, and I'm glad it's over.

Before I got them started on their group work, we did our third musical journal. It went just as wonderfully as it has before. I am really thrilled that I thought of this idea; a sneaky way to get them to write and not whine about writing.

Today's song was "Everything" by Michael Buble. They enjoyed it! Honestly, if you know what type of songs he sings, it really is a strange concept that 12-year-olds enjoy it... but they did. (He sings jazzy, old-style music, vaguely pop, I guess... very enjoyable).

So far, I only have done it with 2 of my 5 classes, so more on Monday, but they liked it, and they're my 'tough' kid class, so that's great.

Of course, there is always one or two who didn't enjoy it, but that's to be expected. The ones who didn't like it this time were both boys, and the reason they didn't like it? He said, "La, la, la, la" at the end. I'm not kidding. This is why they didn't like it.

The funniest part? The boys were not in the same class.

The decided it was a man singing passionately to his wife/girlfriend (I asked if he was singing to both, but they adamantly said one or the other), on a beach, stage, or in a coffee-house, and he just loves her to pieces.

Even the boys wrote things like love, beaches, etc. It's very endearing (and hilarious) to hear a little 6th grade boy talk about true love, and how much this guy loves his girl.

So on Monday I have the rest of my classes to look forward to sharing the song with. It'll be nice, since I'm dreading the release of Report Cards, as parents always go crazy, seeing their child has an F. It's amazing (at least to me) that they're surprised at report card time that their child is failing, since they were failing at progress report time. What did they think would happen? A magic fairy would come and make their child suddenly an ideal student, instead of one who turns in nothing?

Oh! Something else I'm dreading? Halloween. I like candy as much as the next person (maybe even a little more than the next person, to be perfectly honest), but the kids don't need more energy! The day after Halloween (and sometimes Easter) is a terrible day to be a teacher. They are wired, crazy, loopy, energy, and quick to get really, really feisty. There will be fights over the candy, which is not supposed to be on campus at all. (They're allowed to bring a few pieces in their lunch boxes, but they're not allowed to be munching on it throughout the day).

So with report cards and Halloween in the same week? This ought to be a lot of fun.

Help?

Wow... Just Wow.

2007-10-21T09:02:00.001-04:00

This is a little different from my normal postings. I normally stick to just what goes on in the classroom, but it's relevant to my blog, and also highly annoying (at least to me) so I had to mention it.

I was wandering around the Internet today, and I noticed something very interesting... Someone was sending traffic to my blog! Wow, I thought, how kind. The nice person saw something in my blog and linked to me.

Then I noticed how they were describing me. They linked to one of my posts about Open House, where I was mentioning I was working really hard to get my desk cleaned off. I tossed out the overused, but still humorous (in my opinion), phrase about a clean desk being a sign of a diseased mind.

They said that this was just a sign of someone who doesn't "want to bother with coming up with a system for taking control of their environment."

As I mentioned above... Wow... just wow. That someone could read just that sentence and decide they know everything about me... They obviously didn't read the rest of my post, because I go on to say how I am going to really strive to keep it clean, and how I, strangely, put more emphasis on working with my students rather than being a neat freak.

They obviously didn't know about my library, (in which I have over 1,000 books that I have purchased with my own money to allow the kids to check them out, since I think reading is really important) which has a great system to allow them to check it out without me having to drop what I'm doing and go over to get a library sheet. It's super-organized, and countless teachers have come in my room just to see the library and have copied my idea.

And something else that really got me... the next thing they wrote was, "I notice that those people who have cluttered desks often end up being the ones who are late to submit their grades or who don’t respond to ARD input forms or whatever."

That really burns me up! I have never, not even once submitted my grades late, even though in our county we had a horrible gradebook program which routinely lost grades and would not work so we couldn't input grades. I also am not late in submitting any of the thousands of paperwork that needs submitting.

(I do miss meetings, but that's a different story. I can't, for some reason, remember to attend meetings. I have alarms set on my computer now, to remind me, so I will not miss them. See? I am working on improving myself.)

Now, you might be thinking I am annoyed because it's true. I have carefully thought about it, too, to make sure that's not it... but it's not! I am annoyed that this person linked to me in a negative way, using me as a negative example, when I am pretty sure they did not look at any of my other posts to see if I am an effective teacher. Because honestly, still in my own opinion, of course, I think what matters most is that I am an effective teacher.

Besides, my desk drawers are currently very clean and organized. I have what I need within reach of when I'm sitting. The top of my desk is not pristine right now, but grades are due this week, and I am currently in the process of inputting grades, so all of that is all over my desk. Before I started putting in grades, it was still clean!

I don't spend a lot of time at my desk. I am up, or in my chair in the front of the room, working individually with the kids. When my desk is cluttered, it's not a nice, calm place to work, but I don't really do work there, even when it is cleaned off. I do most of my actual grading of papers at home, not at school, because I don't find the time to do it at school. During the day, there are a million other things to do, like attend meetings (which I have not even missed one this year... yet...) and do lesson plans, and all those endless things that must happen right then, or dire consequences will befall us all.

Suffice to say, this really disturbed me. Oh, well. I can't really hold a grudge, I guess. I need to move on. I guess I should say at least people are coming to my blog because of it.

But it still wasn't very nice.

Small Favors...

2007-10-17T18:37:00.000-04:00

So, after my terrible day of the previous week, I have had a few very calm days, despite there still obviously being something in the water. Instead of just my students being crazy and getting in trouble, it's now all the students.

I guess I feel better, knowing it's not just me.

My calm days mostly come from the fact that the misbehaving students received ISS (in school suspension) for their misbehavior, so they were not in my room. Not only were those two out, several other students from my team were also in ISS for various reasons (thankfully none that had anything to do with me or my class).

Now, on a normal day, one or two or three students will be in ISS. We know how many and which kids are in there each day because the supervising teacher (I really would not want her job) emails all the teachers a list first thing in the morning, so we can know who is there. (If it's one of our students, we're supposed to send work down to them, so they're not just sitting and staring at the wall all day.) Then, she emails us whenever a new student enters ISS, almost an on-the-spot news-reporting about which students are misbehaving that day. Normally, one student may enter ISS during the day, occasionally two. Today, six students entered it.

I am telling you. Something is definitely in the water.

It's almost fun getting the emails, I think just because it's a throwback to the days when you were young, and said things like "Ohhhhhh... who's in trouble!" in a sing-song voice. The best part is when you see a name on the list you recognize... followed by "7th grade" or "8th grade." Because that means that while they were my problem last year, they are not my problem this year. I'm already looking forward to those emails next year.

Trouble has been in trouble almost constantly lately. His mother says we're responding to him the wrong way. She says we don't understand him. While that may be true, it seems a bit suspicious to me that he's not getting along in any of his classes, with any of his teachers. At least one of the teachers should be relating to him if it was us causing the problem. He has 7 different teachers! I do worry about him, but he is just not making it easy to help him.

And Stubborn has killed two more spiders for me (boy, he's helpful when he wants to be.) For some reason, he has recently bonded with me, which I guess is a good thing. He shows me all his work, and wants to tell me all about it, and about what he's doing this weekend, etc, etc. He shows me his Geography project (which I still have no idea what it was he was showing me, but he did get a C so I'm proud. I guess.) It's very sweet, and I am really glad he's attached himself to me, because he is doing much better in class, but sometimes, it's really hard to listen and give him my full attention. I don't want to discourage him, so I'm trying really hard to listen.

So anyway... I am just grateful for small blessings, like having a peaceful day, free of the trouble students. I know they'll be back soon, and I also know I'll be back to trying to find out what works for them, because I truly do want to help them, and I also want to be one of those success stories you hear about. But until then... I'll relish the peace.

Discouragement and Annoyance

2007-10-14T08:24:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted. It's been a little crazy around school, with stuff being due, the kids being crazy, media center visits, the kids being crazy, day-long meetings, etc.

Did I mention the kids are being crazy?

Yes, they are. Apparently something's in the water, because the students have begun doing things that are quite unexpected. For example, on Thursday, I had to write 2 discipline referrals. (Those are the official, going-into-their-permanent-record forms that are essentially an invitation to speak with their administrator and receive a consequence... the lovely forms which give the teachers only 3 tiny lines to explain what happened...) In case I haven't mentioned it, I don't write referrals. Yes, I have before, of course, but I just simply don't, as a rule, have to write them, because I deal with my behavior issues in my classroom myself as a general rule, so I just don't let it get that far.

But I had to write 2 of them. 2! Same day, actually same situation, so I guess maybe that makes it better? Maybe?

Essentially, the issue was two of my students just completely stopped listening to me. As in, I asked them to stop talking and get to work, and they started singing over the sound of my voice. They said things like, "NO!," "You can't make me," "I'm going to sue you," "Shut up," "You don't know what I'm doing, so you don't know what you're talking about," and finally, when I'd had enough and told them they would be receiving a detention as a consequence, they told me that "I won't be coming, so it doesn't matter." When I dismissed them, to catch their bus as it was the end of the day, they ran out screaming and cheering, so loudly some of the other students in the hallway jumped.

This type of the thing has the distinct honor of making a teacher crazy. Honestly, how do you respond to things like that? Nothing I tried worked; nothing I usually have success with in getting the students to do what I am asking worked.

So I had to write them up, and I don't really regret it. At all. I feel a little crazy as I think about it, just because they made me so very angry.

I feel discouraged, sure that I'm doing everything the wrong way, sure I can't do anything right, and sure I am a total failure. An angry, total failure, because I am still really, really angry. The students treated me as less than a human, and it is crazy-making.

I am seriously looking forward (in a strange way) to going back to school. The other students really need to make up for this situation, before it gets any deeper sunk into my mind and causes great stresses. I need to have some success, some special learning moment, some kid telling me that they finally understand a concept, something special, so I can just chalk this experience up as a bad day, albeit a really, really bad day, and be able to move on.

So I really hope my students cooperate.

More Musical Fun - The Return of Trouble - SS is a High Level Student?!

2007-10-04T23:18:00.000-04:00

The kids have all been begging to do another one since we first did musical journals, and yesterday I finally gave in (or at least they saw it that way... I had it planned out in advance).

This time, I wanted to do something that was completely different than the Josh Groban song we did before, both to give the kids who didn't like it a chance to enjoy the song, and also to just vary the type of music I play for them. Again, I'm teaching them many important things this activity, such as writing, analyzing mood, tone, etc, the ability to write short and long analysis of a given piece of text or multimedia, and many other high-falutin' stuff. Mostly, though, it's fun for me, and gives the kids a no-pressure way to work on their writing skills, which frankly stink.

So this time, I played "Must Have Done Something Right," by Relient K. This is a cutesy song, high energy, in which a guy is thinking about his girlfriend and how happy he is, and how she is way out of his league, but they're both still happy. The kids really enjoyed it, and seemed to identify with it more than the last song, which only makes sense. Some of the comments included silly things, like "I love it because I can understand it because it's in English this time," "I like it because my cousin likes it and it reminds me of her," and "I didn't like it because he repeated himself too many times." (I did remind that particular student of a lovely thing entitled a "chorus," but he didn't seem to get it...)

Of course, the second it was over, they begged for another one. They really have no sense of delayed gratification. Oh, well... by the time they leave me, that'll be much improved!

Now, one of my students I mentioned earlier, Trouble, really is in trouble. He spent 2 days in ISS (in school suspension) for property destruction and other things that were a bit worse. I worry about that boy. We had a parent conference, but mom never showed up, so we're not sure what the support is like at home. He has actually turned in work for me, though, so that's an amazing difference. I think mom wasn't happy with progress report grades, so maybe she has kept an eye on him. Whatever it is, I hope it works, and I hope he returns from ISS in a much more school-oriented state of mind.

And remember our little darling SS? The one I lamented over her wardrobe choices? Well, she still wears things I wouldn't allow my 12-year-old wear, but she's coming to school with a lot more clothing on lately (mostly because I have her 1st thing in the morning, and I check her as she comes in and send her down for dress code violation if it's needful, and they make her wear huge old nasty t-shirts or stuff from the lost and found... effective deterrent for many of the kids.)

We're also working on her attitude, because she can be quite a little spitfire. She's really quick to jump from doing something I'd like her to stop (like talking instead of working) and intense anger. I really like her, and I am worried about her, so I try to work especially hard to develop a relationship and show her how to react without losing her temper. She's doing better, but it is a slow process.

I did find out something today about her, though, that shocked me, and will make her life much more uncomfortable. I thought she was low... I mean, I thought she wasn't reading on grade level, because she is in my class of kids who need remediation. Well, it turns out that she is not only on grade level, she received a 0% on one part of our standardized test. So for her to have still scored on grade level, the her performance on the rest of the test had to be really, really high. She is so busted! I was working with her, coddling her, thinking it was the best she could do... no more! I am going to have a little chat with her, and tell her that, while I love her, she is going to be working much harder for me, since she obviously can do it.

This ought to be a fun conversation!

The Daily Grind - Lies

2007-10-03T11:35:00.000-04:00

Now that the school year is really underway, the days have settled into the daily grind. The kids come to school, I teach things, we do activities together, I assign homework, I attempt to collect homework, I listen to lies about homework, etc.

What is it about kids in 6th grade that makes them, when they face the teacher and have to say "I didn't do my homework, Ms. Language Arts Lady," choose instead to lie?

And really, really bad lies, too.

Ones I have heard (just this week):

"My mom threw it away." I hear this one constantly. And it is very rarely true. If it IS true, the child left it in an unfortunate place, and mom was just cleaning.
"My mother went through my backpack and took it out." WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?? I ask, incredulously. I always get some variation of, I don't know, but she did. This has never been proven true, but I have heard it at least 20 times just this week.
"I left it at home." Now, I do know that sometimes this one might be true, of course, but this one is the favorite phrase in every student, and used often as a lie covering what they should be saying, which is "I didn't do it." So I ask them: Why did you leave it at home? You knew you'd need it today... you wrote it in your planner, I reminded you as you left yesterday, you knew! Their response? "I don't know."
"I left it in my other backpack." How many backpacks does one child need? I had one each year as a child, and that's it. If it would break, you would have to make do, or pull out last year's model and use that. Some of these kids seriously do have a backpack for every day of the week.
"I was cleaning out my backpack and I left it on my bed." This little tale almost always includes the exact place they left it, as if telling me where it is currently will make me believe them. The way you can tell it's a lie? If you have ever seen the inside of a 6th grader's backpack, you know they NEVER clean them. It's amazing they don't get condemned and labeled toxic.

And many other crazy tales. This week I decided I was tired of the lies, so I started telling the students I knew they were lying to me, and they could stop.

It was actually a lot of fun, because the kids then felt bad they were lying (most of them) and told me the truth, and swore up and down they'd improve, etc.

Plus, if I have to listen, and look like I believe, that one more student's mom went through their backpack and threw away their homework, I was going to go mad.

Open House... Survived

2007-09-26T20:39:00.000-04:00

Well, I did survive Open House, but just barely. It was a CRAZY day. I firmly believe in the philosophy that a clean desk is a sign of a diseased mind, so because I was aiming to impress the parents (or at least not shock them), I had to sort through the junk that has appeared on it, almost magically, since the beginning of the school year. There was stuff from last year on it, which I still don't get, since it's not the same desk, or even the same classroom. But it was there, so I had to deal with it. Plus, I had to... you know... teach.

So I kept dashing at it throughout the day, while the kids were doing bellwork (the work they must do as they come in), while the kids were having a minute to think about the question I'd just asked them, and while the kids were answering, I was throwing things away and nodding to show I was still listening.

Now that it's clean, I am going to try my best to keep in clean. My co-teacher is always making fun of me for the state of my desk... but I do know what's there, and even a general direction if you want something. Plus, when you've got 100+ kids coming through your doors every day, somehow cleaning off your desk isn't much of a priority.

Anyway, Open House went well. I didn't fall off my heels, which is always a plus, since I don't generally wear heels because I might actually fall off my heels. Only one parent attempted to attack, but was actually pretty easy to head off, because I was so open to the idea of a parent conference. Just not right then. I found out later from my team that he had cornered all of them, too, but I was the only one lucky enough to require a conference. At least in middle school it is required that you have a conference with all of your child's teachers, so I won't be alone.

Several parents came up to me and told me their child loved my class, and me, and that always makes a teacher feel so good, because you do never know how your teaching is being received.

So, hooray! I survived, I have a clean desk, and it's only 2 days until the weekend!

Open House is Coming!

2007-09-23T15:08:00.000-04:00

In the next week, my school will be having Open House, which is a time for parents to come and meet their child's teachers, if they didn't come during Meet Your Teacher. Of course, it's also a chance for some parents to attack the teacher, if their child received a grade they feel was in error on the progress report that went home last week.

I am honestly afraid to check my school email, knowing there will be at least some emails from parents, complaining that I "gave" their child a bad grade.

Grrrr... It really bothers me when they ask why I gave their child a bad grade. I don't give grades! I only reflect what was earned. And in our school district, they really have no excuse for not knowing a bad grade is coming, because we have an online grade system that allows them to check their child's grade 24/7.

But I digress.

Anyway, some parents expect different things from Open House than we plan (or even are able) to give them, including the chance to dialogue one-on-one about their child. With 100+ students, this is just not possible. I guess in elementary school, it might work that way, giving each parent a chance to have a brief chat with the teacher, while the other parents view the classroom and the stuff posted around the room. But if I spent just one minute with each set of parents, that's coming up on 2 hours, and that's how long the entire thing lasts.

What Open House essentially is supposed to be is a chance for the parents to see the classrooms now that the kids are in them and hear the teacher go through what the students do on a daily basis. They can see where their child sits, check out the textbooks, and see the teacher that their child has been praising or condemning for the past 5 weeks.

Previous years have seen crazy things done by parents (and their children as they watch).

Examples:

Last year, a mom brought all of her children to Open House. There were many of them. (Which is fine; I understand you don't want to get a babysitter for this time, and big families are fun, and I'm not complaining about the size). Most noticeable, however, was the smallest one, who was right around 1 year old. She was bored, so she screamed and cried through my entire presentation. I am not talking little baby-noises; I'm talking five-alarm fire-type noises. The other parents were glaring at her something fierce, but she just smiled indulgently at the baby.
A parent told me that I was not helping her child with his writing, and I needed to be working harder. Then she told me she was checking over everything I grade and hand back, so I need to be careful. Then she told me that she doesn't see how my reading logs (the homework my kids do every single night) are helping with his writing. I told her that reading logs are to help improve reading, not writing. At this point, I was supposed to have started my presentation. I was feeling quite freaked out, when one of the dads (not her husband, either) made the woman sit down and be quiet. On his way out, he apologized for her behavior. I was so grateful.
One parent sat through my entire presentation, then asked if I was the math teacher. To make it worse, they then tell me their child is on a different team. Were you not listening to anything I said?? I also have our team name posted everywhere.
One of my students apparently forgot that I have rules, and climbed on top of my of my desks. I usually don't like to correct students in front of their parents, because I feel when they're with them, it's their job, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries. Not this time.

It is fun, though, now that I am no longer completely freaked out at the thought of meeting parents. I get to see the kids in a different setting, usually as they're being proud to be the ones who know what's going on, since they are the ones who know where their classes are, and how the school day works, etc.

Well, here's hoping it all goes well!

Music Soothes the Beasts? Not Today... (Plus Trouble's Introduction)

2007-09-21T18:18:00.000-04:00

Well, after the wonderful, joyful, perfect lesson using music, I was thrilled to go into work today, ready to introduce my kind of music to my students, and see if they enjoyed Josh Groban as much as I do.

But then, as it always does, reality crashed in.

After the perfection of the previous day, I should have known that it wouldn't work. My first class of the day, which is an advanced class, were wound up as they came in, and they didn't ever really settle. They listened to the music, made their comments, and gave the song a title, but they mostly were silly. (When asked to describe the pictures that formed in their minds, they mostly said things like, "A man eating a taco," "a woman walking down the road in Mexico, with tacos," and "a man dumping his girlfriend after she shot him." They all did enjoy the music, though, so that was a good thing. The only one who had anything negative to say was one boy who told me he didn't like it because it sounded so sad it made him feel depressed.

Then, during the next block, to add insult to injury since I was already feeling a little down about how I didn't really get the responses I wanted, the Internet, computer network, and phone system went down. No Internet (which is how I was playing "The Nutcracker" for my example), no projector to show them the journal prompt, nothing. So I couldn't even do it with them, so my remaining lesson was short, which is always frustrating.

Then the air conditioner broke, which just had the effect of making me really grouchy, since it was hot, I wasn't able to do what I wanted, and the kids were still wound up for whatever reason.

Suffice to say, it wasn't the joy-filled day I had anticipated.

I will try again Monday, though.

In response to the person who commented and wanted to know what the kids had thought and said about the song:

-A girl said: I really like this song because it's so peaceful and calm, and it sounds like the man singing is really passionate about something or someone (this is exactly what she said, because when she said passionate, it made me want to laugh at her. I didn't, though, I was good).

-One of my boys created this whole story to go along with the song. It was hilarious! The other kids wanted to hear the song again while they thought of his story, to see if it fit. His story was about a man strumming a guitar while singing in a boat going down a river, then the same man is singing to a woman in a house with a candlelight dinner nearby, while the woman looks on "lovingly" and smiles, because she has forgiven him for "forgetting her birthday."

-I don't like this song, because I think the man has just lost his girlfriend, who he loved very much, and he's so sad and lonely sounded, it makes me sad.

-I love this song! Who is the singer?

-I know who sings this! It's that guy... you know, the one named Santana. (Nope, I said, sadly. Not quite.)

-One of my students (one of my favorites, just because she's such a sweetheart) and I had a little giggle-fest about him, because she did know who he was, and she wanted to know if I thought Josh was cute. I said, oh, yes, I do. And he's the perfect age for me (because for some reason, my kids really want me to marry one of the twins from the Harry Potter movies. More than a few students have told me that. I keep telling them I'll get arrested because they're so young...) My co-teacher (a male) told both of us that if he didn't have such a gorgeous voice, neither one of us would give him the time of day. We both looked at each other and shook our heads sadly at his ignorance. I said, "Um, he's hot, regardless of that voice. Add in his voice, and Josh Groban is perfection." He just shook his head sadly in return.

-It's a song full of hope, and this one man is hopeful his girl will come back to him.

The titles they gave the song were almost all silly, stuff like:

Mi Amor (is this spelled correctly??)
The River (the boy who had the man boating)
Hopeful Days
Love Stinks
Please Forgive Me
The Taco Man

And many more.

As I mentioned yesterday, I have a student that is just pure trouble. He actually might be almost redeemable, because he still can get excited and participate in the classroom assignments. For example, we were illustrating our portfolio covers, and he drew a car, and had to show me all the details as he added them, telling me how much each one would cost. I would say things like "Wow! People are crazy to pay that!" and "Looking good, Trouble!" But this is involvement on his part is rather rare, and mostly he's just a pain in the rear.

The first day of school, I had to get on him for tripping another student, a teeny-tiny one. He likes to make sound effects constantly. I don't think I have made it through one lesson without calling his name. Not a single one.

Plus, he's Mr. Sound Effects. He must constantly whistle, sing, make cat noises, and bird noises. He's enough to drive anyone insane.

If you ask him a question, he will just sit there and stare at you defiantly, and refuse to answer.

Trouble has already had to meet with my entire team of teachers to discuss how he needs to change, but it hasn't really made a difference. Next step will be a parent conference, then I know there'll be trouble for Trouble. When mom's are called to the school, it rarely goes well for anyone.

Oh, joy.

Music Unites Us All

2007-09-20T16:35:00.000-04:00

Today I did a mini-lesson with 2 of my classes (I have 3 left to do it with tomorrow) that just went so well, I felt pure joy.

It was a simple idea that I had, and it came to me while I was listening to strange, old songs on my computer that I had downloaded way back when, before Napster was illegal. (Yes, I know it was technically illegal then, too, but it was before they had to worry about music piracy, so it wasn't a big deal). I wanted to expose the children to songs they wouldn't normally hear, with the junk they listen to these days.

Yes, I know that does make me sound ancient.

Knowing 12-year-olds, I just knew that if I wasn't careful in how I presented it, it would just be a teacher-sanctioned time for kids to go crazy, and put down music styles, and insult others who might enjoy that music. Plus, it had to be an actual learning experience, or why bother? It's not like I could just say, "Okay, listen to this, and be quiet."

They might frown on that in adminstration, and I can't say as I'd blame them.

So I decided to do a musical journal, where the kids have to listen to the song, and while it's playing, they have to write the story of the song. If it has words (not all do), they can use those to help them figure out what is happening. If not, they have to think about what their mind is picturing.

We practiced first, and I played parts of "The Nutcracker Suite," since many of the movements are very distinctive and have an easily recognized mood, and easily inspire pictures to form as you listen.

Then, I played the first song. It was "Alla Luce del Sole" sung by Josh Groban. Now, if you know what type of songs Josh Groban is known for, you can probably imagine what my students were thinking as it started playing.

They are hyper-critical at this age... everything is "stupid," "retarded," "ugly," and so on. But I had prepared them, warning them about what would happen if I heard a single negative thing without it being backed up, and not even my toughest kid (not Stubborn, either, but one who is even more trouble; I'll have to tell you about him soon) had anything negative to say.

It was great! They listened carefully. They wrote earnestly. Then they all vied for the chance to share their title and what their story was. The only ones who didn't like it said they didn't like that it wasn't in English (it was in Spanish, so some of my kids knew what he was saying.) Some admitted they liked the song, but it was "Not at all to my taste."

They got so excited about it, they wanted to do the next song immediately. I told them we'd do one every couple of days, and they groaned. They actually wanted more work!

I absolutely love my job when everything goes perfectly. It's such a gift to be able to share something like a Josh Groban song with my students, and talk about it honestly and fairly.

I am very happy... and I get to do it with three more classes tomorrow... and two of them are my advanced classes, who tend to get more involved and excited about stuff like this.

I can't wait to see what they have to say about the song tomorrow. Plus, I can't wait to get to some of the songs. I have the strangest collection of songs planned. Oh, well. It should be interesting, if nothing else!

TGIF!

*Update 9/21/07* Apparently, the song I used yesterday (and will use today) is not in Spanish, but in Italian, as per a comment I received. Thanks for helping me clear it up! I did tell the kids I knew he sings in Italian and Spanish, so I don't know which this one was... but it's nice to know the truth!

I Hate the Rain, and Progress Reports

2007-09-19T12:33:00.000-04:00

As I have mentioned before, the children are affected when it rains. Something in their brains suddenly change, and they go crazy.

Completely crazy.

I guess we could say the kids are more intelligent than we stodgy, old adults. We look on the rain as necessary but an inconvenience, and idly wish it would rain like it does in Camelot, only at convenient times. Maybe the kids are recognizing on a deeper level that the rain represents life, and because life will continue with the rain, they are rejoicing.

I know they just like to get wet, but it's still a nice thought.

I have had no less than 20 students come in completely soaked for no other reason than it looked like fun to run crazy in the rain.

I also had a boy earlier today who has a skinned elbow, because while he was running in the rain (because it looked like fun) he discovered that wet = slippery, and slid an apparently impressive distance, according to onlookers, all on his elbow.

He didn't go and get it looked at, of course, because that would interfere with playing in the rain. Instead, he waited until school started to be sent, so he would waste classtime versus play time.

Plus, the rain and damp and difference of it all makes them squirrelly. So all day today, I have had to remind them we don't yell in class, we don't throw things, and lots of other don'ts that should have been obvious. So I really do hate when it rains during school hours. I personally do love the rain, and I love to listen to it falling... just not during school.

And I also hate this time of year... PROGRESS REPORT TIME. Parents will soon be requesting parent conferences to discuss why I "gave their child an F."

I hate that phrase. I really don't sit up nights thinking about how I am going to ruin their day by giving their child a failing grade. I just calculate the grades, I really do. That's it.

But I know I'm going to be getting emails like crazy telling me about how their angel turned in everything even though it isn't in the gradebook (which the parents can now check online so if they had been keeping track of their child as much as they said they were, they'd have seen the zero before now...).

Oh, well. They go home Friday... so I am safe for one more day.

Confusion...

2007-09-12T14:47:00.000-04:00

Today, I am wondering about parents. And about what is honestly going through their minds as they're doing some of the things that drive teachers crazy.

I got a new student this week. It's the fourth week of school, and I just got a new student.

Getting a new student isn't unusual; just like in most schools (with the exception of small town-type schools), we have a relatively high turn over, and we get new students pretty regularly. We sometimes even get kids from other teams due to a schedule conflict or a personality conflict among kids or even among the teachers and the kids. However, this student was not a kid who had moved from another state, school district, team, or anything else like that.

No, this child just hadn't started school.

Apparently, they didn't know when school started. When asked why she was late starting to school, she told us that her parents had thought school started the day she came.

What?? How could you honestly not know when your child is supposed to start school? It's not like they just moved here; she's gone to school in our county since 2nd grade (I asked her).

It's not like our county is secretive. In fact, we have advertising campaigns about going back to school that costs big bucks to put on.

And even if you didn't know when your child was supposed to start school, wouldn't you call the school and find out? They should know the month of school starting, at least, since it hasn't changed in all the time she's going to school here, so at least 4 years.

Now she's really behind, because even though we haven't gotten into the full swing of things yet, the kids all know how to do all the things I expect of them, so she just feels awkward.

All the little lunch groups are formed. All the little cliques. All the little love-hate drama.

She has essentially been put at a disadvantage, which is just not fair of her parents. She's a sweet kid, and this makes me sad.

Why, parents... why??

It boggles the mind.

Memorable Kids

2007-09-06T14:45:00.000-04:00

I love my job, as I've mentioned, and I am really enjoying the kids this year. I have the ones I really love, but I also have the ones I just don't really care for. This is always the case, because you just aren't going to like everyone you meet. It's impossible.

But there are some kids you will remember forever, just because of the same reasons you love them or they drive you crazy.

Last year I had a student who was from a southern state, and had an adorable accent. He was very polite (always "yes, ma'am") and very helpful. He was also extremely intelligent, and just a wonder to work with.

I miss him.

This year I have several kids like him, in the intelligence arena. One of my boys this year has the highest score on our state's standardized tests that I have ever seen... plus the things he comes up with are amazing. I can't wait to see what he'll do when he's grown up.

Another student, this time a girl, is also extremely insightful, and really good at analyzing text. I love asking those deep questions in her class, because she'll sit there awhile and think, then raise her hand, and I know she'll always have something helpful to add. Several times she's added stuff that I hadn't even thought of.

It's a blessing to work with these kids.

Then there are the other ones, the ones who keep me on my toes.

Like the gentleman who thought it was okay to burp as loudly as he could, in the middle of my class, while I was teaching. Um, no. I calmly asked who was responsible, then kicked him out until I could talk with him. I told him about how girls will not be interested in a man who cannot control himself, etc. Hopefully it helps. I think that kicking him out scared him, so I'm sure he won't do that again, at least in my classroom.

Then like our own dear Stubborn, who became the very 1st student on our team*(see below to read about teams) to get detention. Thankfully not in my class, but still. It did make me happy to have another reminder it wasn't just me having some struggles with him.

Or how about another one of my kids, who simply refuses to stop talking. It almost is beyond belief, and seems like he physically cannot stop. We have been discussing him at our team meetings, and we the teachers are going to attempt an "intervention" to let him know that his behavior must improve, or there will have to be consequences.

Anyway, they do keep things interesting. And the long and the short of it is I am really enjoying this year, and will continue to do so, even with the knuckle-headed ones causing stress. After all, if everything was perfect, it'd be boring. (Of course, in just two weeks, it will be time for progress reports, so it will get a lot more interesting, with parent conferences, emails, phone calls, and more.... oh the joy!)

*Teams. I forget that not everyone knows about middle school teams, so I wanted to give you a brief overview. Essentially, teams are groupings of kids who all have the same teachers, and each team has a name (like the school where I did my Internship had teams like Appaloosas, Paso Finos, Palominos, and other horse breeds because their school mascot was Mustangs). It allows for the teachers to get to know the kids really well, and to discuss their progress with other teachers so we can figure out what works best for each of the kids. It also allows the parents the chance to easily meet with all of their child's teachers, because they just ask for the team by name. It's really nice for everyone, because it's just a nice way to ease the kids from elementary school on their way to high school.

6th Graders

2007-09-01T11:02:00.000-04:00

Well, week 2 of school is over, and we only have... how many weeks?

Maybe I don't want to think about that.

Now that the kids are feeling more comfortable, I'm starting to get to know them, and the routine is becoming more like my established one, I am thrilled to be back in school, aside from the obvious reasons (like I can't sleep in).

I forget just how much fun 6th graders are, especially when they're new 6th graders. Most of them have not turned 12 yet, but are coming up on their birthdays. They still have that underlying sweetness that I love so much about them.

At the end of last year, my wonderfully sweet 6th graders start turning into 7th graders, which are not nearly as much fun, nor nearly as sweet. They start developing attitude, the emotional drama goes through the roof (Oh, my gosh! Did you hear that Josh just broke up with Sarah! Oh, I know! I thought they would be together forever!!), and they begin to stop doing their homework, because it's just not cool to do homework every night.

So I was looking forward to getting back to school, but every year you forget about how wonderful the kids are and how much fun I find them and how much I love them.

It does work out, though, because by the time they start changing in attitude to be more like 7th graders, I have forgotten how they behave. Oh, well.

Anyway, back to what I originally started out to say.

The kids are so much fun! They are all working hard at whatever task I've assigned them (except for one of my advanced classes, who seem to have a chronic talking issue that we'll have to work on), and the only complaints I've heard was just from yesterday's class, because it was the first time we've taken notes.

One of the things people tend not to like about 6th graders is how whiny they are. And I won't deny it... they are still very young, and consequently pretty whiny.

So not hearing:

-WHY do we have to do this AGAIN today? We did this same thing yesterday! (about our daily grammar practice)

-Why do we HAVE to do homework every night??

-Do I have to do all the questions on this paper? But there is 12 questions! Well, do I have to answer in complete sentences??

-What do you mean I have to take notes? What are notes? Well, if I try really hard and remember everything you say, can I skip writing them down?

And more of the same is a novel concept. But I began to hear little whispers of this sort of thing on Friday. Ahhh... the "honeymoon period" is over. They are starting to be comfortable, and therefore comfortable expressing their opinions.

Cute/Funny/Sweet Things I've Seen Since School Started:

One little boy has yet (and this is 2 weeks in!) to attend the right class on his first try. We call around to all of our team teachers when he's supposed to be with us, so we can get him sent to us. So sweet! He's just so confused...
The new fashions this year seem heavy on bright colors, and as many of them as possible, and polka dots. One of my girls was wearing everything polka-dotted, all of them black and white... I mean, her headband, earrings, necklace, shirt, undershirt, skirt, leggings, and her shoes. Oh! And her SOCKS. I was amazed.
One of my classes has separated themselves completely into boys and girls, with no mixing. It's so cute! They're still at the stage where the opposite sex has cooties.
The kids are really worried about lunch, because they're afraid they won't find it, won't know which line to be in, won't have enough money... it's very sweet.
One of our kids has 11 classes. Now, there is only supposed to be 6 classes per child, but he has 11. I told him to choose where he wanted to go... then sent him to guidance so they'd fix his schedule.
Another one of our kids is on three teams. It is very rare for a child to have more that one team, and only then for extreme circumstances... but she has 3. They said they'd change it this week coming up, so we'll see.

I know there is more crazy things that happened, but I have forgotten them... Oh, well. I'm sure I think of them later.

In the meantime, remember this: 6th graders are so much fun!

Children Today...

2007-08-27T15:50:00.001-04:00

Okay, I know the times are changing; I know this. But still... how have we managed to take our little, innocent girls and turn them into girls that may still be little but are are far from innocent?

Some of my students this year look way, way, way older than they really are. The girls mostly, because the boys still look like babies, generally.

One girl in particular, we'll call her SS (for short skirt) wears the tiniest skirts I have ever seen. She must constantly adjust them, just to stay clothed at all. Plus, she wears really, really tight clothing and is very... developed... for her age, so it is not the same as a tight t-shirt on one of the girls who still has a little girl's body.

It's just not the same.

I simply do not know how her mother lets her out of the house like that. If you didn't know she was only 12, I'd peg her as at least 16, maybe older. She is just that developed. Plus, she acts much older than her age, maybe because she does look so much older.

This makes me sad, because she is a sweet girl, mostly, but she's dressing like something that has nothing to do with sweet.

Really, really sad.

I have another girl (the one who had gum the first day) who also wears tiny clothing, and is also somewhat more developed than your average 12 year old, but she still doesn't project that same air of asking for trouble.

It really does make me sad.

On a somewhat happier note, Stubborn (I told you you'd hear about him again; who knew it'd be this soon!) got in trouble in another class for the same issues I was dealing with. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this!

The best part, though, was that he was somewhat helpful the other morning... I had a spider in my classroom (I am terrified of spiders) and I wanted it dead. Amid cries of "Save the spider!" "Don't kill it!" "Noooooo!" and girls screaming, Stubborn just walked up and squished it with his fingers.

Ah... I knew if I kept him around he'd be helpful.

No, seriously! I really did say he'd be helpful someday!

Really.

When Children Get Stubborn

2007-08-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Today I had my first official grappling with a student, over whether or not he would behave.

I did win, but it was almost a toss-up for awhile. He was amazingly stubborn! It's not unusual for kids to suddenly dig in their heels and say "No!" for no real reason, but considering it's only the first week, it's a little unexpected.

All I wanted him to do was write a paper. Just one page, as a diagnostic to show how well they write. As teachers, we're supposed to keep track of them improving, and create entire, gorgeous, and beautifully organized portfolios that we can whip out at a moment's notice, and prove the child has been given many opportunities to improve.

I need that bit of writing, just as a baseline. He could write about anything. His summer. His dog. His brother. He could make it up! I just wanted to see if he could use proper grammar, punctuation, maybe spell most words correctly.

But for some reason, he decided that he just didn't want to do it, so he just sat there. The students were given about 40 minutes, and he just sat there, after writing about 1/2 a paragraph.

I noticed his lack of words on the page, and told him that he would not be leaving my room until he had a full page, and if he was late for his next class, he would receive whatever consequence that teacher inflicted, since he had wasted his time in class.

I figured (since he still had a good 15 minutes left when I noticed he wasn't working) that he would rush to finish.

Nope.

I think he was planning to sneak out my door, because he had packed everything way before I was ready to dismiss. He sits closest to my door, and he was looking shifty and had his backpack on.

I guess he'd had teachers in the past not following through on consequences, but as every good teacher (and parent!) knows you have to follow through, or it's just a waste of time, energy, and frustration.

So as I got ready to dismiss and had all the other students turn in their work, I told him to go ahead and take his paper back out, and move to the computers, to finish up. He just stared at me, completely shocked. Then he picked up his backpack and slammed it down at the computers. (Normally, I'd address this, but you do have to pick your battles, and I am more concerned with making sure he understands that not working is not acceptable.)

He continued to sit, not writing for a few minutes.

As the next class came in, I made sure to let him know that if he continued to sit there, not writing, he would not be allowed to go to lunch on time, and would have to return to me after lunch, too, until he was finished.

The new class stared at him, which I think made him very uncomfortable, because he put his head down and started writing. Finally. Nothing like a little peer humiliation to motivate you.

He finally finished about 25 minutes after the next class started, and went to Geography, 25 minutes late. Apparently he also went in with attitude, because he was mad at me. So he gets in trouble in the next class for attitude.

So, in short, we'll just go ahead and christen this student Stubborn. I'm sure we'll be hearing about him again... considering it's only the first week, and we're already having battles.

Well, with the return of battles of wills, I feel like the school year has really started.

Ah, the joys of adolescence.

Excuse Me, Are You My Teacher? and Fire Drills

2007-08-22T17:13:00.001-04:00

Okay, now I know 6th grade is a huge difference, especially coming from the lower grades. It's different. I get that.

But still, how hard is it to find a classroom, labelled on a map, with the teacher standing outside, saying, "Looking for Room 620? It's here!"

And then, after I introduce myself, and take attendance, then ask if there is anyone whose name I didn't call. Then, 20 minutes later, one kid suddenly raises his hand and says, "Are you Ms. A? This is science, right?" Um, no. I introduced myself 20 minutes ago. Remember? Language Arts ring a bell? I called everyone's name and asked if there was anyone I missed. Apparently, I didn't call your name, because not only are you not in my class, you are not on my team!

Not on my team!

I wonder about these kids.

Then a kid goes to Geography 1st period, when he should have been with me, then comes to me 2nd period. When I tell him, after consulting his schedule, that he should be in Geography, he said, "But I've just done that!" Um, okay... but you were supposed to be here!

I really do wonder about these kids. When they don't hear their name, why do they not mention it??

All of that happened yesterday. The 2nd day.

Today we had a fire drill. Fire drills are always tons of fun, since we get to march all the way outside, into the amazingly hot outdoors, and stand, silently, while it sounds like there is an air raid going on.

They changed the route from last year, since where we went before was so close to the building, apparently, the 8th graders could touch the building while leaning against the fence.

So if there was a fire, they would burn... and I do think that is a problem.

So this year, we have to go across the street, through a tiny gap in the fence, which allows approximately 2 kids through at a time.

Since we have around 1400 kids, this takes a freakishly long time. And the traffic has to stop, and the drivers look very, very confused. (I guess if I saw 1400 kids migrating across the road I was trying to drive on, ushered by adults who look hot and grouchy, I'd be confused, too. Many of the drivers alternated staring at the school (looking for smoke?) and staring at the kids.)

Then we just stand there, trying to keep the kids together, even though I don't really remember which kids are mine yet, and wait to be allowed back in.

Ah... the joys of public school.

Surviving the First Day... Accomplished!

2007-08-20T19:39:00.000-04:00

Well, we did it... or I did, at least. I made it through the first day. Hooray!

And I almost want to go back to school tomorrow!

Now, it was nothing like last year, with all the classes being unbalanced, and 47 in one class (with just 30 desks, so some kids had to sit on the floor).

Nor was it bad because of the schedules being messed up completely because of SMS. SMS is a computer program the county purchased to do all the clerical-type school tasks, like attendance, discipline (keeping track of referrals, detention, etc), gradebook, and scheduling. Instead of having to use different programs for each of these things, SMS was supposed to do it all. This way, you wouldn't have to enter the information multiple times.

Of course, with the millions that was spent on the program, it should work, right? They had tested it, used it in a few pilot schools, and everyone just sang it's praises...

It didn't work. At all.

If you used the gradebook portion, you would enter your grades, but it would lose them, or even change them completely. You could never trust the gradebook, so you had to keep multiple copies.

And the guidance counselors had attempted to use the automatic scheduler that the company had praised... and the class of 47 resulted.

But I digress.

It wasn't like it was last year today.

In face, I had tiny classes. My advanced class was large, but manageable. But one of my co-taught classes is so small it's unmanageable. In Language Arts, you need to have more than just a few students to get good discussions going. Just hearing from a few kids doesn't work as well.

PLUS this tiny class is co-taught! (It's for exceptional education kids (ESE), where they essentially have learning disabilities and need extra support to be successful, so there are two teachers in the room with them... the main teacher and an ESE teacher who just helps out in each class).

The number of kids in this class, you wonder? 6.

Yes, it will grow as they balance the classes. But still. 6!?

How did that get past the people making the schedules?

Oh, well. It is much better than 47, I will admit.

Another thing about last year was we had all of the thugs that were in 6th grade, with only a few minor exceptions. The other teams had some of them, but truly, we had almost all of them.

Today I was keeping my eye out for our new thugs, or kids to replace those type kids from last year. Granted, this was just the first day, and I do realize that. As we were waiting this morning to be dismissed to our first class, I couldn't even get them to talk at all (and I know that will change quickly). I know they'll loosen up and the misbehavior will start,

And I did spot some I know will cause problems. But overall, I am happy about the apparent quality of these kids.

I do think it is rather amazing how you can spot these kids right off. You know immediately the ones you'll have to keep an eye on. And then you talk to the other teachers on your team, and they marked the same ones...

Like the kid who had gum. TODAY. And she was wearing a tiny skirt, a tube top, and a tiny jacket. What mom would really let her out the door like that?

Or the kid who provided me with a sound effect the entire time I was talking.

Or even the little girl who rolled her eyes. At me. On the first day! Just because I mispronounced her name. I'm sorry, but her parents made up her name! How would I know how to pronounce her name, especially since it's not like they even followed the sounds you normally find in the English language!

And on that topic, this year I have the most amazingly crazy names. What's wrong with names like Mary, Elizabeth, Laura, Rachel, or those lovely names? I don't have a single one of those names! Not even one.

Oh, well. I guess parents want their kids to be more and more unique. Whatever.

Today, we had lots of things we were supposed to do (as teachers, like going over the dress code rules) with each period) and I did almost all of them... I did forget to walk my kids to lunch... but in my defense, our lunch period is at 2:11, and I had no chance to use the restroom, and I really needed to, so I wasn't really thinking properly.

So... after this first day, I am mostly excited about this year... it's still a little weird, since I don't know these kids, and I miss some of my darlings from last year, and a little tiring because it is stressful, but I see great things for this year.

Lots of great things. I hope.

Meet the Teacher 2007

2007-08-17T14:33:00.000-04:00

Well, I have survived (barely) this year's Meet the Teacher. It wasn't as bad as my first year, where I was trapped. I was able to sit down for a few minutes a few times, and rest my feet, and I remembered to bring a drink this time, so I wasn't dying of thirst.

I think, though, with my classroom a little ways down the hall from the rest of my team, some parents didn't find me. Not complaining, though!

Of course, barely 2 hours after the parents left, I received my very first email of the year.

Wow. They don't waste time, do they?

I saw lots of my kids from last year, and it was very nice to see most of them. They are all excited and thrilled to see me.

Some of them look so old I can't even believe it. What happened in the two months since I saw them? Did they eat more because they were just at home? Or is it that amazing growth spurt that happens between 12 and 13?

Some of the bizarre/funny/notable things that happened today:

-A parent introduced their child to me, but gives me the wrong name. The kid then reintroduces himself.

-Parents arguing as they were talking to me. i.e. "You don't have to be so rude to me!" "Don't be stupid!" to each other, then asking about my curriculum.

-A child walked into my room and starting going through the stuff on my desk. Like, my personal stuff. Like picking up my keys and the phone.

-All kids and parents have gum. This is going to be a year we battle gum.

-Most of the little 6th grade girls were breaking dress code... little spaghetti straps, short skirts...

-One parent told me all about her child, and how he has an IEP, and on and on, and ON, and I finally asked who her child was, and she pointed him out. Then I asked about his schedule, so she showed me, and he wasn't even on my team!

-I have two siblings (that I met today) of kids I've had before. One of them did start to cry, though, because she didn't want to be on my team (not because of me, but she loves the other team's language arts teacher...) (At least, I hope her brother wasn't telling tales...)

It was a crazy day, it really was.

Something else I found highly amusing today was listening to one of the new teachers at my school describe his day. This is his first year teaching kids (he's taught college and stuff) and he wasn't sure what to expect. He's also from England, and has an accent (of course). The little 6th grade girls were almost melting, just listening to him talk. He said one of the girls who was going to be in his class just stared at him, then left and brought 2 friends, and then they all stared at him. Then they started giggling (if you've been around a middle grades girl, you'll know exactly what I mean by giggling.) When he asked them what they wanted, they just told him he talks "funny" and they want to hear him talk.

I said, well, at least you'll be sure the girls are listening to you when you give them directions.

It's an almost unfair advantage over the rest of us.

Back in the Classroom!

2007-08-13T14:22:00.000-04:00

There is something so wonderful about getting back in your classroom. It's so peaceful and clean, and none of the junk that will be present as soon as the kids arrive. They're great, but they carry so much junk!

I got back in my room, and sat at my desk... and realized that I have a lot of work to do tomorrow. I had to move classrooms, which is a blessing and a curse, honestly.

I liked my old classroom... it was right near the teacher's bathroom, it was across the hall from the 6th grade office (where the administrator's office was, so the kids knew they had better behave in the hallway), and it was the first classroom as you entered the hallway. My new class is NOT near a bathroom (except for the kids bathroom... yuck), and it's at the end of the hallway.

But I wasn't near my team. They were in the other hallway.

So now I am with them, but I did have to pack EVERYTHING and move EVERYTHING at the end of the year, so now I honestly don't know where anything is. Including my trash can. How can you lose a trash can? It's not like losing my tape (which is also missing). It's much larger than that.

My gorgeous mini-fridge made it, though, as well as the lovely squishy chair I appropriated last year.

So... in short, a good start to the year. So far. It's funny... as you sit there, messing with your stuff, people keep coming in, and checking on you. I honestly think they want to see if you're doing a better job of getting your junk done than they are. So they can feel better about themselves.

So far, I have made everyone feel better about themselves.

The Class Schedule

2007-08-09T23:29:00.000-04:00

According to another teacher on my team, we have the best schedule ever this year. Last year we had a stinky schedule, with a sad planning period, split lunch (where the kids come to you, go to lunch, then the same kids come back and finish up that same period), and other small issues.

This year, we have the best planning (6th period), NO split lunch, and many less kids (so far) than last year! (Last year, I had 136 total, but I didn't have the ESOL kids, since they were with the ESOL teacher. The rest of my team had around 153 kids. We're looking at around 114 kids on each team. Hooray!)

I have co-taught for 2 periods, too! And, apparently, 2 advanced classes. So just one regular class (5th period) without the support of another teacher. This will make my life much easier. Plus, the best part about co-teaching? The ability to, if you need to, go to the restroom. Without having to call your administrator and admit you have to go potty.

This year really is going to be awesome.

Pre-Planning Week

2007-08-08T22:47:00.001-04:00

Teacher pre-planning starts next week, and just like that, my summer is over. It's an exciting time, yes, but still rather sad when I think that it's over.

Pre-planning is really a strange time, at least in my experience.

My first year as a teacher, I was supposed to start the glorious fun of pre-planning just like all the other teachers at my school. I had attended the new teacher training (2 days long, mostly telling us of things that weren't helpful and more confusing than anything else, but I did get some free stuff, so that was good) and the pre-employment fingerprinting, background check, and drug-testing (I passed, if you were wondering :o). Now I was going to start at my school and learn all about how it works. Like the rules! How we felt about dress code! Even the school lunch menu!

I was supposed to.

But didn't.

I wasn't "cleared to be on campus yet." My background check wasn't complete yet. I was not allowed to be around the children. But there aren't any children there during pre-planning! But this bit of wisdom was apparently ignored by the school system. Yes, I did pass it; everything was fine.

But the paperwork wasn't filed on time or with the right people, so I wasn't allowed to be there on the day when they have the dumb-but-ever-so-helpful getting to know one another games and information.

Now, I could understand if it was because I was a new hire, one of the people hired right as the kids arrive.

But I had been hired June 24th. Plenty of time.

So I missed that first day, and missed out on lots of important things AND free stuff (like a mug with the school logo and a desk calendar. AND LUNCH).

I was sad.

Last year, I opened at a new school, so our pre-planning lasted 2 weeks. It was a nice, but crazy, time.

We have a good, wonderful, supportive principal.... who just so happens to also be "cutesy." She likes having themes at our meetings and for the entire week of pre-planning.

Last year, we had a lot of games where we had to walk as a team (feet tied to a bit of canvas), untie each of our team members (as we were all tangled), design a perfect school, etc, etc, etc.

It's fun, but silly. It's nice to see everyone again, and it's a WONDERFUL chance to hear what's going on, what new paperwork we have to complete, what new laws affect us, and so on.

I am looking forward to it... but I have to go and think about what to wear. We have to dress within our theme, and it was rumored that we'd be rewarded for our efforts, so I want to win.

I have as much chance as the next person, right?

Wrong. I will likely completely forget and just wear my school shirt. Oh, well. I probably wouldn't like the prize anyway.

Or so I'll keep on telling myself.

Signs of the Time

2007-08-04T09:29:00.000-04:00

There are always signs that appear to warn teachers that summer is coming to an end. Some we look for are meet with anticipation, but others just cause us to sigh and try to adjust our summer sleep schedules to make sure we can get up early again.

Here are some signs to look for as a sure way to know that the new school year is coming...

Parents you see in public places are looking really frazzled.
Their kids look rested and full of energy and mischief.
Stores stock massive amounts of pencils, paper, glue sticks, and markers. Massive and scary amounts.
Those same stores place those massive stocks directly in the aisles so you cannot possibly miss them.
Some stores, however, after placing the items directly in the aisles still place cute little "foot prints" and signs on the ground so you can follow them to the supplies.
You still hear parents asking where the school supplies are.
You pay your bills and notice you have lesson than you expected to have, and work sums in your head to see if you'll make it (you should, as long as you've planned well, but still...)
You start getting more emails at your school email address, with "updates" from administration.
You get a letter at home from your principal reminding you that they expect to see you bright and early on the first day of pre-planning. Don't forget to bring your winning attitudes and good ideas.
You also start getting emails from the parents of your students from the previous year, asking you to "use your influence" to get their child placed on a good team. (I think to myself, what influence?)
The school supply areas in stores begin to get mobbed, by large amounts of bickering children and parents, all trying to "just get what we need!"
You notice that everything school-related is once again tax-free for a limited time.
Every place, everywhere you go has "Back to School" specials, even when they have nothing to do with school. At all. Even at a stretch.
Teachers start trying to get into their classroom so they can get ready (it's hard to do it in only 2 days allotted in pre-planning!). This is tricky, as administration doesn't want to spend their day opening the door for teachers. (I have found some hiding in strange places, hoping you can't find them.)
You wake up in the morning, thinking of the perfect way to drive a point home on a lesson you taught last year, and wishing you had thought of it at the time.
You know you will never remember that point when you're teaching the same concept again.

And all these signs tell me school is coming swiftly.

Yay?

Teacher Stores, or Teacher's Heaven

2007-08-02T20:28:00.000-04:00

One of the most exciting parts of getting ready for the new school year is getting new school supplies. These can be as simple as a new pack of pens (I have scary numbers of pens, but I love getting new ones) or as wonderful as a new teacher resource book.

Something that does make shopping for school difficult is the fact there wasn't a school store anywhere close to me. The closest one was about 45 minutes away.

Until recently, that is.

They opened up a brand new (albeit small) teacher store within 10 minutes of my house. There is almost no way to describe how excited I was when I saw the sign and figured out what it said for the first time.

I had to wait for them to open, then I had to wait for me to be able to get myself over there.

Today, I finally made it!

I walked in and was immediately met with bright colors and cheerful items designed to get children to read. Then I saw math manipulatives (the one reason I am sad I don't teach math... I love to play with the math stuff), and posters, and teacher stamps, and books, and borders, and and and!

I love pretty new things. It makes me eager to get into my classroom, set up the stuff, and meet the new children. A good thing, I think.

So, I bought 2 posters, a new lesson plan book, a pack of pre-cut letters (in a delightful stained glass pattern), and a handwriting book.

One of the posters that I bought was a very cute one I have been looking for, which says, "Save the drama for your llama" and the llama is saying "I don't want to hear it either" with a grouchy look. It's perfect for 6th grade drama.

Now I just have to get my classroom keys, haul all the stuff I brought home back to school (along with all the new stuff I bought), and wait for the kids.

I can't wait.

Train the Teachers, Part Two

2007-07-31T11:29:00.000-04:00

This is my second (and final!) day of training... and I'm currently IN my training! As a technology-obsessed person, I have always enjoyed trainings that involve computers, as I can follow along and still keep myself occupied by playing on the computer.

I do sometimes miss things, but I can generally catch up.

I am much happier today, though I feel tired. I think having the summer off is great, but it sure does mess up sleeping patterns! Lunch is in only 7 minutes, so that's a great thing, too. I can't deny it. I'm just like my kids.

Today was much more helpful than yesterday, but then I was looking forward to today's activities. I learned about how to do a literature circle (which I wanted to do as school starts this year but has long confused me) and I am now learning how to use the online portion of our curriculum.

I am very impressed with what the online portion can do... I can assign tests, leave notes, and send messages to individual students. Everything I'd need.

Now, I just have to figure out ways to implement this curriculum, which I'm not as impressed with... I wish the actual text was as strong as the online portion.

Oh, well. Can't have everything, and at least my training has computer access... and with Internet!

What a perfect training!

Train the Teachers!

2007-07-30T17:07:00.000-04:00

I love teacher trainings! I hate teacher trainings! I am so confused!

I do love getting new ideas. I love that many of the trainings give you free stuff. And I love that I can apply it to my re-certification (I can't lie!).

However, I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE how someone far removed from the classroom, somewhere in the head offices for our school system, makes the decisions about what I need to attend.

Sometimes, this is no problem. Some things we DO all need to know.

But I am attending training today and tomorrow, and I hate it. It's not really helpful (at least yet. I am slightly more excited about tomorrow's topics), and it's summer still. We only have 2 weeks. They're taking it away from me by making me attend this training. AND THEY ARE NOT PAYING ME.

I don't mind attending trainings at night, when I pick them, and not getting paid. I am choosing the ones I think will help me.

But heaven help me, I was bored today.

Meet the Teacher

2007-07-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

My first year as a teacher coincided with the first year my county celebrated something they called "The First Days of School." Part of this celebration is called "Meet Your Teacher." Essentially, it's a chance to go the week before school, meet your teachers, pick up your schedule, pay for lunches, buy fitness uniforms, etc.

While this is a great idea, it stinks.

As a teacher going into the start of school, you now have to have your classroom ready to go, or at the very least, presentable, several days sooner.

But the worst of it was, my first year teaching, the parents come in and see me (and I frankly have an ageless face, which means I could be 18 or 30, but concerned parents immediately decide I am way too young for this), and start asking the tough questions. Like, "What does my child need for the entire year for your class?"

I thought to myself, I don't even know what your child will need next week... so you're outta luck for the entire year...

Then the scariest part was I was by my desk when the first parent shoved their child at me (the really did shove their little darlings at me... the first time it was funny, but soon nothing was funny) After that first parent and kid combo came, there was no let up... for 2... whole... hours. And I was trapped by my desk... there were so many parents wanting to meet me they were lined up out the door and down the stairs to my portable. When one parent took too much of my time, the other parents started grumbling. I just knew I was going to be killed by a parent brawl.

The only thing that saved me was the principal coming on the announcements, as promised, and telling the parents that while we are glad they came, the teachers need to eat, so they will now be locking their doors.

I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I just slid to the floor after locking my door and thought to myself, I am NOT supposed to be a teacher. I can't even answer simple questions!

Thankfully enough, my father had stopped by earlier and was basically encouraging, and my best friend stopped by to see how I had fared and ask when I could leave, because she wanted to go out to lunch. She had to knock a few times, because I didn't want to get off the floor and I didn't want to talk to another parent.

She plied me with liquids (talking for two straight hours had made me desperately thirsty) and bundled me off to lunch, where she told me I'd be fine, and stop whining.

She was right, but it was still overwhelming.

My second year went better, as I had answers and I knew better than to put myself somewhere I didn't want to spend 2 hours trapped.

I sat on the corner of my desk when standing became too much, which made me much happier, and I had a water bottle within arms reach.

This year I know I will be completely fine. I like meeting my new students, and it's fun to guess the personality of each... plus, I get a preview of which parents will be "difficult" and which will be "wonderful."

After all, they will be the ones who will feature most prominently in this blog. They make school interesting, and worthwhile.

Getting Ready for School, the Teacher's Version

2007-07-27T17:24:00.000-04:00

I know parents everywhere look forward to the start of school, but also dread it, knowing they will have to convince their children they do not need a lunchbox for every day of the week, and they don't have to have the $6 pen when the $.50 pen will do the same thing. (Knowing they'll lose it regardless of the cost).

Trust me, I understand your pain.

However, teachers get to do the same thing, but instead of getting one or two children ready for school, we have to get ready for tons of kids. As a middle school teacher, I will have somewhere between 110-165 kids, depending on what school and where it is located.

What many people don't know about teacher is all that stuff that makes our classroom so pretty when you visit on "Meet the Teacher" day, all the posters, all the books, all the everythings are the teacher's personal property. We bought and paid for it, with our own money.

Some things the school does provide. I have all the furniture provided (except I received one bookcase and I need about 5), all the textbooks the students use, and the technology to make my lessons interactive and engaging. Some schools provide some supplies... generally, at the beginning of the year, you get one pack of dry erase markers, a couple packs of paper, and 4 boxes of tissues... yes, a few more things, but 90% of it will be gone before "winter break."

Still, I bought the teacher resource books. I bought all of my classroom library books, all 1,000+. I bought all of the posters, and if you think those are cheap, a teacher's poster costs around $5 each, plus laminating, which can be up to $9 each poster.

Add all this to the fact we as teachers do not get paid during the summer, and you have yourself a big problem.

I know people everywhere are saying, "Teachers have it easy! They get two months vacation!" Well, yes. But we don't get paid during that time, so right about now, with school starting in a couple of weeks, we are really starting to feel the pinch of not seeing a paycheck since May. And I even have my pay deferred all year, so I get money at the start of summer to live through the summer.

But still. Knowing I start work on August 13th but won't see a paycheck until September 5th makes me nervous.

Still... I am very excited when I see kids in the store as I shop... I judge their age and then wonder if they'll be in my class.

And if they are, will they be one of my angels... or one of my knuckleheads.

Middle School Trends

2007-07-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

What on earth goes on inside the heads of middle school kids? The things they wear! The things they enjoy!

I can't say too much against them, of course, because if I happen to take a peek at the photographic evidence of my middle school years, I am sporting no less than FOUR necklaces... at the same time, no less.

But still! This past year I noticed:

-Girls using shoelaces (I'm hoping they were clean... yeah, they were, I'm sure of it) as hair accessories. Not in the way you'd expect, either, as a ribbon, but more like a scarf...

-Boys wearing anything and everything to do with Naruto, regardless of whether or not they actually watch that particular show.

-Leggings (on girls, thankfully) under the smallest skirts I have ever had the misfortune to see. Honestly, do their mothers even see them as they go out the door?

-Anything that can be stuck to the face. i.e., fake moles that are actually stickers in the shape of hearts, initials, etc.

-Fake eyelashes were big this year... BIG and SPARKLY mostly... like neon purple... I think I'd get a headache looking through those things...

-Boys wearing under-armor (is that how it is phrased? One boy explained it to me... am still slightly bemused) as real clothes... apparently it's something you wear in baseball. Not sure why the little darlings wear it to school.

-White gel pens used as eyeliner in girls... it makes them look a little creepy, honestly. (And since they are regular ink pens, I can't think they'd be good on skin. Especially right near your eyes...)

-One of the boys this year dyed his hair pink. Not sure why...

-Another boy (heretofore adorable and sweet) cut off all his hair but left a healthy hank of hair in the middle as a make-shift mohawk, and it turned him into a punk overnight.

And many other ways I can't think of right now. Every year features something completely new and crazy, something everyone must do or must have.

I guess it has to do with their growing need to "find themselves" and make individuals out of themselves.

Still.

Honestly, sometimes I'm scared to go to work, after just picturing how my cute little 6th graders can change themselves overnight. It's scary.

Places NOT to Leave Books...

2007-07-24T10:29:00.000-04:00

As a language arts teacher, I have a large classroom library that the kids can choose from to check out to use for their reading homework. In the beginning of the school year, the parents sign a form that says if their child loses, destroys, or otherwise makes the book useless to me, they will replace it. They can give me an identical book, pay me the cash to replace it, or they can donate a similar book to my library as long as I approve the transaction.

This has worked really well. I lost only one book (that I know of, they might have stolen it off the shelf so I didn't have a record of them having it) my first year, and I lost about 15 books my second year. It's really annoying to lose books, because I buy them with my own money (mostly used, and you can get a great deal at my public library... $.25 each for the juvenile books, but as I have over 1,000, it was still very expensive to get set up).

This past year the kids had to replace quite a few books, and they had to because of strange reasons.

One little brother helped his big sister by pouring his apple juice into the book. That book was so amazingly smelly. It smelled like wine.

Another little brother colored the book for my student.

Another's dog ate it. My student brought me the tiniest sliver of the old book, giggling like a fiend, to show me. I was like... what??

The strangest situation this year was with one of my expensive books... Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I had several copies in paperback, but this was my hardback. One of my students who always was checking out books borrowed it, but it wasn't he who returned it... it was an informer, the type of student that makes life easier as they help you figure out what happened.

This student wasn't allowed to read the Harry Potter books. His mother didn't like them, but since all his friends were reading them, he had to as well. So he borrowed them from me, and hid them before getting home. Now, this might not be so bad, but he didn't choose a wise hiding place. He chose a bush at his bus stop.

One of my other students found it, the night after it rained. As you can guess, the book didn't fare so well.

When I contacted his mother, I found out that he wasn't supposed to be reading them at all.

Oops. Well, that's why I encouraged the parents to check with their students, to make sure they know what they're reading and to make sure it works for them as a family. He was doing his reading log on Harry Potter, so if she had been actually reading the reading log as she signed it, she would have known what he was reading.

Anyway, he brought me a brand new copy, and promptly asked to check it out. I said, ask your mother.

Heaven Help Us!

2007-07-16T00:02:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, the kids do things so sweet, you love them. Sometimes they tell you heart-breaking things, and you'd take them home with you to raise as your own in an instant. Sometimes they do things just to make you mad, and you have to practice your "counting to ten to keep your cool" philosophy.

And othertimes, they are so strange, you can't analyze your feelings for them.

One of these type kids was one of my boys. A very tall boy, he was sweet-natured, but also very wild in the halls. Even the 8th grade Dean knew him, which tells you a lot. He likes to run in the halls, get big mouths full of water, and spit them on the girls. Ahhhhh... young love.

But what was so strange was what he would do while he was sitting in class.

He wasn't a very bright child. He tried sometimes, but he could only read on a 2nd grade level, and he just didn't care about school much. When he had decided he had enough listening or working, he would take his pencil, and stare at it, turning it over and over in his hand.

For. The. Entire. Class. Period. Staring, all the while turning it over and over.

Other students would stare at him as if he were nuts. I wondered if I agreed with them or not... but mostly I laughed at the expressions on the watcher's faces'. There is nothing more amusing than students calling other students out for crazy behavior.

Sometimes, I wondered if it was simply that he was a simple person who could be happy just looking at the unique colors on his pencil.

But then I realized it was just a normal #2 yellow pencil.

Substitute Teachers

2007-07-06T14:22:00.000-04:00

Substitute Teachers... they can be angels from heaven or something from quite the other direction. I have had some awesome subs, ones who left my classroom neater than I left it (I do admit I am a messy teacher). I have had some who did everything exactly as I asked, which honestly, is rarer than you'd think.

Then I've had the kind of subs where you have no idea what was going on, and honestly, you're just as happy you don't know. The kids always are thrilled to see you after those subs, because they don't like how out of control the class was.

Sometimes the subs are so old, I am amazed they drove themselves to my school, and managed to walk to my classroom. The kids told me once their sub was a little old lady with a blanket who slept through class.

Sometimes they are so young I could confuse them with my students, and that's saying something, as I teach 6th grade, and they are still quite small.

But the worst sub I ever had was so bad... there really aren't enough words to describe how bad she was. It just boggles the mind whenever I think about it. And to make it even worse, she was only there for 1/2 day! She arrived 1/2 way through my 4th period, so she had only to make it through 4th, then 5th is my planning, and then do 6th period, and that's the end of the day. But that was, apparently, just too much for her.

The day after I got back, everything seemed normal. The classroom was clean (or at least, looked like when I left). The work I had left was done, and on my desk in neat little piles. The report she left mentioned no problems, and told me the kids were wonderful, and she'd just had the best time... and on and on about how fun it was. That was a little strange, but okay. She had fun. It all seemed okay.

Then 4th period rolled around. I knew what they had accomplished yesterday, because class has been well begun when I left the day before. They were firmly under control, working, and quiet. I had lectured them on how they would be behaving for the sub, and they had no issues, and knew I meant business when I mentioned consequences for any issues. They were also my advanced class, so they knew how to behave.

The class started normally. No problems. Nothing was mentioned about the day before as I started class. After doing our bellwork (the 5 minute assignment that is on the board as they walk in, getting them settled and working for the day), I handed back the work from yesterday so they could continue working, as it was a mini-project, and most weren't finished.

The work had been collected by the sub and piled on my desk, as I had asked her to do. I had found one student's work, though, on top of my bookcase as I entered my classroom earlier that morning. I quickly nabbed it and hid it. Nothing makes me crazier than how my students leave their stuff all over everything, as if I didn't have enough mess without their help! I always move things from where they left it, so I can talk to them about how I don't like it when they leave things.

Anyway, after passing back all of the work, the student who's paper I had hidden came wandering up to me, and asked me if I had seen his work. I said, why? Didn't you get it back? No, he told me. I asked him why his wasn't with the rest. He said he didn't know. I asked him if he remembered leaving it on top of the bookcase, and he said, Oh yeah! I scolded him mildly, then asked what it was doing up there in the first place.

This one, innocent question opened up the biggest can of worms, ever.

Because I was working there, he told me.

"Why not use your desk?" I ask, feeling like this is an obvious thing.

"Because the sub was sitting in it," came the reply.

"Wait... what? The sub was sitting in your desk?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know," he answered, looking pitiful. He had that down pat.

I looked around my room for my informers. All teachers have them. The ones we know watched the whole thing, carefully making notes, and will tell you all. 6th graders as a whole are all informers, but some are more reliable than others.

I told him to sit, then called one of my angel-children over. I asked her why the sub was in his desk.

"Because she moved everyone," came the answer. Okay, she moved everyone... I provided a perfectly good seating chart, so why the need for movement?

"Well, she said that some of the students were bad, so she moved the bad students, so she could watch them. But the ones she was yelling at weren't the ones she moved." Okay, so what did that mean?

"Okay..." I say, hoping to get more information, but not sure of the questions to ask, "who did she move?"

"Just the boys. Well, she made everyone in 2 rows stand up, then she picked a spot (the boy's desk, apparently) and then she pointed at students to surround her spot. They were all boys."

WHAT??

"All boys?" I ask, carefully.

"Yes," my angel confirmed. "The girls had to just find somewhere else to sit. No one would let him sit down, so he was using the bookcase for his work."

After all was said and done, after calling up student after student, I discovered she had indeed surrounded herself with the boys, and chatted them up. That's the only way to put it. She asked what they did for fun, if they liked to party, where would they be that weekend, etc. Let me remind you... I teach 6th grade. The are 11 or 12. They are NOT high school boys who look like men. They are children!

Not only that, she allowed chaos to rule my classroom. I ended up writing 6 referrals from things that happened in just that last half of 4th and my 6th period. I called up student after student who told me about what they did but told me also they weren't doing it alone, so then I was talking to another student, who mentioned a whole different incident.

I had never written referrals before... I had never needed to. I take care of the misbehavior, and don't need to send them to the Assistant Principal. However, the students were hurt, things were thrown, profanity reigned, and more and more.

Suffice to say, I reported that sub, and waited until summer was out to have another doctor or dentist appointment.

Strange Things They Do, Part 1

2007-07-05T15:49:00.000-04:00

6th graders really are a strange bunch. I know it has to do somewhat with where they are in their life's journey. They are trying so hard to be adult, but they really are still children, and many of the little things they do highlight the war between the adult they want to be and the kid they still are. Sometimes it makes for misbehavior. Sometimes for humor. Many times it just results in stuff that makes the real adults around them go, "huh?"

One such event happens whenever it rains. Now, maybe I could understand this if I lived somewhere it doesn't rain very often. Somewhere nice and dry, where rain is more of a phenomenon. It's not here. It's rained here every day for the past two weeks in fact. So these kids know rain.

The second it starts to rain, the students must walk through the rain to get to their class. Even though there is a lovely overhang to protect them. Even though they are going to freeze when they get to class, because of the lovely air conditioner, which I cannot, and would not, anyway, turn off because they are cold.

If you're thinking this is limited to the boys, you'd be wrong. The girls do it too, even the prissy ones. What takes over their brains in the rain?

We may never know.

It's Okay, Mom!

2007-06-29T12:27:00.000-04:00

One of the things I love most about being a teacher is running into my students out in public. This is especially true of a middle school teacher, because I have between 120-150 students at any given time, so it really does up the odds I will spot one in my local Target or Publix run.

The student's reaction is what's so much fun, because they sometimes are just so happy to see me (and I think, why aren't you this happy in school to see me?) and sometimes they look freaked out, like they can't believe I was allowed out of school. Even though by 6th grade they know I don't really live at school, it's still in lodged firmly in their minds as a possibility.

But the absolute best part is their parents, and even more specifically, their mom. Parents wear varying looks of suspicion as their child talks with me. They don't want their kids to know someone as well as I obviously know them without them being aware of who I am as well. They always get this happy expression on their faces, and continually glance back and forth from me and their child, afraid to miss one word. It might make this whole thing easier on mom if the child would tell them who I am, but they never do.

I know it also might have something to do with the fact that I look pretty young. I'm not old, but I'm also not so young any more (I just had my birthday earlier this week, so I'm really feeling the not-so-young vibe) but I still look as if I might be in college, or even high school, depending on what I'm wearing. Moms just don't want their 6th grade babies to know anyone that age.

As I say goodbye, and I'll see you later, the mom gets a look a look in her eye that says as clearly as words, "You will not see my child later, or ever again, you crazy person!" I always walk away slowly and listen carefully. Invariably, I hear mom hiss, "Who was that?!" And my darling students always have this casual, I'm-so-cool-because-I-know-something-you-don't tone as they reply, "That's just my teacher, Mom."

It's okay, Mom! I'm not a sociopath after your child! I'm the one who makes you sign that infernal reading log every single week of your child's school year. And I'm the one who gave your child that F! Don't you wish you knew that while I was standing there?

Ask Your Child!

2007-06-21T18:54:00.000-04:00

I recently received an email from one of my parents from last year (since we're in summer, I have relinquished all claim to those kids and anticipate new kids with relish). In it, she asks me why I gave her child, little miss perfect, an F for the final 9 weeks. Why did I not tell her this was coming? Why was her progress report grade so good (if you call a D good, because I don't) if she is now failing? Plus, she copied the principal, guessing I'd respond more quickly if I saw that the principal knows about this issue. (I don't care, honestly. I have an AWESOME principal who understands how these things work).

Why do they do this? Ask why I gave their child a failing grade? I didn't give your child anything. They earned it.

This happens quite often. I guess it shouldn't surprise me anymore, but it does. The number one question I want to ask, before even looking to see why the child has the F, is "Did you ask your child why they earned the F?"

90% of the time, they will say no. Asking the kid sitting at the dinner table, riding in their car, standing in front of them begging for something, does not even occur to them. Instead, they will go out of their way to accost a teacher. I have been chased down in the grocery store, Target, the school parking lot (where they were WAITING FOR ME, which brings to mind a whole new level of obsessed parents), all to ask why little Johnny or little Suzie is failing.

ASK JOHNNY! He'll know. I promise, he'll know.

To be fair, even if they DO ask their child, the child will (in self-preservation) respond with "I have no idea, Mommy! I do alllllll my work! I don't think she likes me!"

But I digress.

The parent that contacted me waited 3 weeks after the report card had come out. I was definitely not going to school any more... I was freed. I don't have access to my gradebook at home. Was she hoping I'd say, "Oh, I don't know, let me change that?" I simply told her that I didn't have access to my gradebook so I would not be able to tell her exactly what the grade break down was, but I do remember that this student did not read her book that she was assigned for her project, wrote a pathetic book report on the book she didn't read, didn't do any of the other parts of the project, and was out for 2 weeks right at the end for a "vacation."

The best part? I was able to tell her that I had taken her child aside and told her that she was going to fail the final 9 weeks (I had warned the kids if they skipped or skimped on the project, they would fail, no way around it). I told her to make sure she told her mother why she failed. I said, I don't want to get an email this summer from your mother claiming you have no idea why you failed.

Ah, the joys of 12-year-olds as they fib their way through life.

Not Always Rotten

2007-06-16T16:51:00.000-04:00

Now, before I get everyone to believing that 6th graders are horrible, I want to share some sweet tales, so you will know they are redeemable. If given my choice (and thankfully I have been so far!) I will always choose the 6th grade, because the kids there are really at a fun stage... still sweet (sometimes) and still easy to scare, but still trying to be all grown up.

I know that some people are amazed that I enjoy working with them... they're always like, "You teach 6th grade?," in a tone of voice that would not have been out of place with them asking, "You like to dig up dead bodies on the weekends?" Almost always, they follow that sentence up with some variation of, "I don't know how you do it," or, "Bless you!"

It's really not that bad! (7th grade teachers, though, deserve medals... but more about them later).

So... sweet things my 6th graders have done this year:

-Made me a little kitty out of those beads you stick together then iron to make permanent, because she "knows I like cats"
-Told me (after not winning any awards at the end of the year teacher ceremony) things like, "you were cheated!" "It's not fair!" "They obviously didn't ask any of US who was the best!" and so on (they were honestly very upset by the fact their teachers were overlooked.)
-One of my most trying students came to tell me about a book he read because of me, and "It actually wasn't too bad"
-Brought me homemade brownies that SHE made, and NOT from a box (and they were the best I have ever had, I was so impressed.) I told her I didn't know you COULD make them without a mix.

And lots more. They really can be so sweet, thoughtful, and fun that I am so thrilled I get to work with them. However, all this sweetness and love doesn't mean that, for the most part, they remain 12-year-olds, who love nothing more than drama and being obtuse. Still, I love them.

Parents can also be the most wondrous creatures. I have heard 2nd hand comments about how I am a hard teacher, but the parents still want their kids to be in my class, how I am very fair but stubborn, and I expect a lot from my kids.

I have received amazing gifts from my parents and students just to show love and appreciation, and little things (like a huge pack of gel pens for prizes) to make my day easier. One parent, after finding out I needed bookshelves for the classroom, called all the local classified ads until finding one that would donate the shelf to me if I would get it. I hadn't even thought of begging with my teacher status...

So I just wanted to say, all craziness aside, I do really love what I do and love the kids... but part of what I love is the absolutely insane things they do, almost on a daily basis. It's a crazy job, but someone has to do it... and it might as well be me.

No Stupid Questions, Part 1

2007-06-15T15:07:00.000-04:00

I know the lovely, oft-repeated phrase, "The only stupid question is an unasked question," or even more exact, "There is not stupid question," is essentially true. However, I don't think that whomever it was that came up with those phrases ever worked with 12-year-olds.

For instance, how can "Do I need to put my name on my paper?" be anything but stupid? I honestly know that the kids, for the most part, aren't thinking about what they are saying, but come on. That one's a no-brainer. How do they really expect me to answer? "No, dear. Don't put your name on your paper. I will do the same thing that guy does on The Dead Zone, and I will be able to see who wrote the paper... as well as the fact your little sister is in imminent danger at home!" Of course, most of the time I simply look at them a little tiredly, and tell them please put their name on their paper.

The ironic part of it all is that they know what I do with no-name papers! I write in huge letters over the whole sheet "NAME?!" and tape it on the wall. Plus, they lose 10 points, if they ever identify it and turn it in again! They have all seen the drama (or experienced it themselves) when a fellow classmate discovers their paper on the wall, and the tears and emotions as they try to convince me they don't deserve to lose 10 points.

So, I am starting a new post series, entitled, "No Stupid Questions," highlighting the brilliance that comes out of the mouths of 12-year-olds. It can be some great stuff.

Other old favorites:

"Is this for a grade?" If it wasn't for a grade, I wouldn't tell you, because then you wouldn't do it. You are just inviting me to lie.

"Do I have to do this assignment?" No, you don't. You can get a zero, instead.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I guess this one isn't stupid, but it bothers me anyway. As an English teacher, I have to fix this, and I tire of fixing it... I don't know, CAN you go to the bathroom? I am just not in the position to know that...

And the last one for today:

"What is my current grade?" This one is stupid because of they way they ask it 90% of the time... by raising their hand, while I am in full-teaching mode, to ask it.

Joys of Being a Teacher

2007-06-13T22:41:00.000-04:00

Something that is particularly of interest to me right now is something that every teacher knows well... the joys of continuing education. As a teacher, you are required to constantly update your knowledge, take classes, attend seminars, etc, etc, etc until you feel crazed. If you do not do enough mind-expanding things, you will not be allowed to renew your professional certificate, and that means no more teaching for you.

While I am all for this, really and truly, I cannot in all honestly say I like it, especially now. I am taking a class this summer, and tonight I spent almost 2 hours doing nothing but stuffing page after page in page protectors. Now, this normally is a boring, mindless job, but the best part was... the page protectors were defective. The pages all folded up in a weird way, and just looked wrong. This is annoying, as I paid good money for the dumb things. So to add to the already tedious task of stuffing the pages into the shiny plastic, (full of static, you know), I had to run my finger along the side and carefully pop 1/2 of the seal. Not the whole seal, mind, because that just makes a hole. Just 1/2.

Suffice to say, I hate everything right now.

Oh, well. At least I'm finished, right? After presenting it tomorrow, I am free from continuing education... until September. Rats.

2nd Week Troubles

2007-06-11T21:59:00.000-04:00

This story I’m posting today comes from my very first month of teacher… and just goes to show exactly how parents have become somewhat demanding when it comes to their child’s education. Maybe it was always that way, but somehow I can’t see my grandfather going up to the school and trying what this parent did… instead, he would have just slapped my mother and moved on. It’s hard not to miss those days, even if I wasn’t alive during them.

I sent home an assignment, very simple, where each student had to read for 30 minutes or 30 pages, whichever came first, then answer one question on the sheet I provided. They had 7 days they had to do it in, but were only required to read 5 days… I had even built in days off! However, the directions that were printed on the sheet were incorrect. It was only my second week ever teaching, and somehow, the papers I had dropped off to be copied had ended up in someone else’s box, and I apparently had that person’s. Their assignment was easier than mine, but since it was a Gifted class, I didn’t want them reading as little as the paper called for, so I had them change the directions. I had 3 classes that I had change the directions, and I left it as it was on the paper for the regular classes.

ALL my students, in those three classes, managed the following week, to turn in the assignment as I had asked. Except one. When I graded the assignment and sent it home, one of my little darlings had followed the printed directions, because he didn’t copy down the directions as I had asked. Mom was displeased about his low grade. So, she sent me an email at 8:30 in the morning. I began to write back my response, but the kids came in, etc, etc, and I hadn’t managed to send a response at 9:25 when I had to go and open the door and welcome the kids. Mom was displeased that I hadn’t answered… never mind that we had 48 hours as dictated by county policy. Never mind that I have to… oh, I don’t know, keep my classes busy. She was tired of waiting, at 10:00, so she called the school and asked to be transferred to my room. She apparently lied, because they told me later they tried to transfer her, because she claimed to be… get this… my mother, and it was an emergency.

Since the phone in my lovely portable didn’t work 99% of the time, the transfer didn’t work, so she called my boss, the 6th grade administrator. When he didn’t answer immediately, she called the principal of the entire school. She called my administrator, who called me to ask what was up. Surprisingly, the phone worked, and I was confused. I told him that I wasn’t ignoring her email, but she had only sent it 1 and ½ hours ago, and I had to teach, and I didn’t have my planning until 5th (essentially not until 2 p.m.).

After all that (getting me in “trouble” with the principal of the whole school in my 2nd week!), I sent her an email explaining her son didn’t follow directions, he was the only one, etc, etc. She said that since it wasn’t on the paper, I can’t grade him on that, so I need to re-grade the assignment today, change the grade, and email her the new grade with her son’s updated classroom grade. When I refused, she called my boss. Again.

I knew right then and there that teaching was going to be a crazy trip.